February 28, 2010
Clarity
I have tried very hard to convince myself that the dagger in my back is there for a reason
And much welcome for the unease it has brought. Most of all I am of the opinion that the
Familiarity of the hand that that has brought the steel to the bone is for the hand is mine.
Accepting such reasoning would allow me confidence in my stand and sooth my ego.
Allas I am intelligent enough to know the charity in my argument . and brazen enough
To know the properties of change.
Posted by Idinraha at 09:07 PM | Comments (0)
What you can or can not
I had decided long ago in a sober moment
To walk careful on my toes. though Its harder now
-not as many sober moments abound , balancing
the girth I have accumulated and earned,
I had decided not long ago in a drunken haze
to wallow aimless, watch my step not on purpose
and dance on my toes every chance I get and remember
when life comes at me , lean to the right and then left
I have come to believe as I live within this moment
to put one step after the other, to crawl after a fall
and then stand on shaken ground with my heels down
and look just a few steps affront not too away far
Do not quarrel with faith, don't go where you nought
try to know the extent of your might what you can or can not
remember there are billions more exactly like you around
and know your limit from your extreme left to right
Posted by Idinraha at 08:42 PM | Comments (0)
February 10, 2010
All that is outside
It has snowed all day. The roads are empty white, and life treads slowly. No one knows yet it seems the train has left the station and I could see my face behind the last window passing by, and the girl I left in the station has already turned her head walking back. I have a secret to tell, I have a tale to whisper, a love story of sort......
You did not believe, you never believed. I whispered the secret , I told you the word, like I had never told any other. The bird in my chest sang for you and yet you did not believe. and somehow I know you never will. And I am happy in my truth in sincerity of my emotions. I hope you never miss the bird and the clarity of truth. I stand behind the window that frames all that is out there hoping for thirst hoping for hunger.
It's hard to define these times , life seems so surreal . There is such an abundance of images and urges, such gluttony of needs and depravations. Truth is lost in collaboration of expectations and denials .We forget how naked we came here and how bare we are left, and all that remains is but a dream we can not remember.
I can not reach you, as they are pushing the nails through your skin, as you heart is thorn in
a grief so cutting so severe that has bent your tall stand. all I can say is how sorry I am for
all is happening to you and the ghastly sorrow that has nestled within you and your beloved.
I pray for you to the Gods you believe in and the God I frequent in the same voice.
I laid down on the kitchen floor next to the stove as it hummed-- cooking. I thought how much I like the kitchen-- the place of sustenance. I like the quiet it brings me as I clean the dishes, clear the counter,put the washed glasses and utensils in the cupboard and then fill the dish washer with the soiled ones.the joy of small tasks that can take you away and the sense of accomplishment you get as the dinner is served. and the kitchen is cleaned with you walking out, turning the last light.
It is still snowing outside, it is suppose to snow all night, we have a tall window that frames all that is outside and you................
Posted by Idinraha at 06:33 PM | Comments (0)
January 27, 2010
At least for now
I just looked away
and the spot light fled,
I saw traces of her frame
leaving the stage,
Funny where life takes you
Funny it happens like it was supposed to
Sad when her lips don't melt in your mouth
and you know, you know well and yet
you take a deep breath, turn on the light
put your glasses on and open another book
what always stays is time, at least for now
Posted by Idinraha at 04:37 PM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2010
On my mind !
He sat deep in his chair with a look of sympathy . I told him how it hurts
like a cold numbing pain that hurls through you and what leaves behind
is emptiness. He nodded and I knew I had reached him by the expression
on his face.
However I knew he needed a better explanation so I sat in front of him,
asking him to hold my head on both side. I knew I had to be fast so I
do not lose his attention. I had done this before once trying to have a
better grasp of what was on my mind.
I found the Zipper underneath my hair line, and gently opend it up
removing my scalp. Quickly unfastened the clips on the sides of my
skull and pushed it back carefully feeling the air on my brain and
asked him firmly if he could see what's on my mind, and why does
it hurt so much.
Posted by Idinraha at 09:50 PM | Comments (0)
The story teller
The story teller walks in a different reality, straight posture, head high,
he is a spectator, simply observing, viewing, judging and musing. The
story teller stands aside in a safe distance, he observes pain but does
not realize it, he mocks the irony of faith, the cruelty of differences,
Nature or Nurture. He is a voyeur. he is an elite, with a gray beard and
eyes that can not see, bored still behind his thick glasses.
And yet he is a God, not an assumption but a reality perceived by him so
forcefully it convinces others to believe. He is God for he believes it with
no doubt, and yet this assumption would push his psyche to such labor
that he would soon wallow in expectation and guilt all wrapped in deity
of his self grander.
Is the story teller the villain or the anti hero, the murderer or the murdered,
the sinner or the puritan. he has the choice yet he does not bind the reality
of such decisions. The story take such decisions away. The story teller begins
the journey but the roads surely will turn, and to his dismay he loses his way, there
is a sunset and the gray dark empty quiet eerie of the woods where he gets
lost amongst parallel spaces as the story unfolds
Posted by Idinraha at 09:13 PM | Comments (0)
January 14, 2010
Sweet sweet prince
Sweet sweet prince, such a short journey,
Oh sweet sweet prince, such bitter sorrow,
How could sun rise again,
and the beguiling Moon should shun the world in shame
the images of you , of your youth, all in beauty
your eyes, your skin, your hair, and the fair constitution in you , sweet natured
with a smile that dazzled, sweet sweet prince, such a short journey, such shame
why the haste, such cruel cruel purpose, a beloved fallen, no reason, no reason
and the ones who loved you, the ones left behind with a chill in their bones
besieged by eternity of this pain, the finality of the passage,
sweet sweet prince, such a short journey
Such a bitter sorrow, why, why the haste !
Posted by Idinraha at 05:29 PM | Comments (1)
January 12, 2010
She is lost
she is lost
in mirrored hallways
blinded by flashes of cameras
lost in hours of a day long
some say she stayed too long
some say she looked too far
some excuse her youth
like the sevengalies and the muse
but she never read
the writings on the walls
some say if she had...........................
however its late. she is lost
Posted by Idinraha at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)
Most every day
a peice of Earth with soft patches here and there
fresh mornings of harvest, long days of sun sweat and dirt
Every day, you stand by the field squinting a glance
and plow through them as they come, most every day
you wink at the crows, look hard at the clouds as they gather
you wish for rain and stay soaked knee deep in mud as it pours
Most every day, almost all , your peice of land
with soft patches here an there, your earth
your soil, your dirt, your seed, your harvest
somewhere between promises and heart brakes
you plow through most every day, almost all
and a quiet satisfaction of bruised hands
and callased fingers, your life
on a patch of Earth to live
and to die
Posted by Idinraha at 11:14 PM | Comments (0)
January 07, 2010
I am hungry
Maybe I should deny it although its recognition would soften the blow
Lonely men do know their shadows, and have a keen awareness of time
and obligations of every hour, they know the clarity of light as it side
steps the shadows moving west
I declare as if it is crucial for all to know that I am dying of hunger, no
it is not the quantity of feed or the quality of its essence but the need
in me to achieve my hunger and deny it all I can with a clear mind and
bulging anger that has served me my place on such a stage and the
generosity of the light that beholds me a nucleus within my being , yes
I am hungry and I can not eat. as simple as it sounds I am awaiting the
reach of pain as it crawls in me hands by hands bones to bones ,
alarming a sour danger that could linger and grow to its tension and
growl beast like within me ; FEED ME, FEED ME FEED ME and yet as
a child I need to shoulder him, resting his head on my frame and loll
him to sleep with promises of sugar canes and sweet dreams and
once he glides above the cloud with his eyes shut . I shall lay close
and await death calm.
Posted by Idinraha at 05:32 PM | Comments (0)