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January 23, 2005
its been a quiet day
Cant shut me up, yes can not, as Amin one day told me after I asked him to stop talking, " I know dad, but I can not help it", Well, Cyrus has been AWOL, the store is quiet, I wrote a new piece, MY BOY BLUE, probably dedicated to ANTHONY. I asked him last week How everything was, and he said; "everything is the same, everything is always the same,". there was a certain melonchaly, in the way he said it. He semms trapped. pushing against the wall. I dont know, we are buddies, but he never says much, its like pulling teeth with him. But he knows, whatever he does, its allright with me, as long as he is happy, MY BOY BLUE. store is quiet, its very cold outside, we probably had two feet of snow so far, so every body is at home, staying warm, and I probably should go home too. already am missing Marjans smile, Kianas effervesant prsence, and Amin's cooky behavior. I think, the rejection letter , was a sweet dagger, in my back, and its poison has struck me hard. this morning I was thinking , what is the use of all this. putting the pen to paper, sitting in front of the laptop, and making an ass of myself. but thats what I do, thats who I am, and what I know to do. this little strip tease I do every day, under the light and all the exposer it brings me, I am addicted, to watch and tell,..............so0 no used trying to make sense of it, just do it. when it is as necessary as breathing to me, I just do it,......Posted by Idinraha at January 23, 2005 03:59 PM