Idinraha unshackled...

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February 28, 2005

Notes To Myself........................by Hugh Prather

If i had only.....
Forgotten future greatness
and looked at the green things and the buildings
and reached out to those around me
and smelled the air
and ignored the forms and self-styled obligations
and heard the rain on the roof
and put my arms around my wife
...and it's not too late

Posted by Idinraha at 11:52 AM | Comments (3)

Men at work

well, Gym was buzzing with Oscar talk, i did not catch, the first two hours, since we were at my Mom's house for weekly dinner, and honestly none of us had any inclination to go and watch the ceremonies. It was a very good gathering, one of those times, that a good discussion is going on, and everybody stays more than usuall. The talk was about Happines, and Life. Are we working for a living, or living to work. The fact that I work seven days a week, and if i am getting and spending enough time with my family. Well by now , Marjan and I, and our marriage has become like a well oiled Machine,humming along beautifully. We leave enough space for each other, we both have our own lives, and every night, at dinner, if Kiana leaves us alone long enough, we talk and have stories to tell each other for at least Half anf hour to fourty five minutes, then we go to the family room, I sit on the couch, with Marjan, laying down with her head in my lap, and me playing with her hair, messaging her shoulders, and when she has excercised too much, I robb her feet, legs, and get her ready and relaxed for bed, sometimes, Kiana joins us, on the couch, sometimes Amin, we watch our nightly games, Jeopordy, and then Family Feud. if Amin needs help with his homework, then its me and him, in the Living Room, on the Rug, laying on our bellies, working through his assignment. and sometimes Kiana has me review her assignment and cheking them for her. Then around Nine O'clock, marjan is off to bed, and the three of us, go to Amin's room, kids wash up and brush their teeth, while I wait for them, then they join me in the bed, we talk, play, have fun for about half an hour, untill they find sleep, this is my little Haven laying down between them, and being educated by them on subtlties of loving. Then I am off to our bedroom, if the door is open, it means Marjan is up and we lay down and talk for a while, and there is such a pleasure in our banters. I ahould also tell you about our bedroom, Its faboulos, I feel like the ugliest thing in there, decorated masterfully by my love, Marjan, it's like sleeping in a king's palace. any way that's our routine, and I live for it. in the mornings if Amin needs more help with a project, I am up at five, and after giving him a good message, he is up, we go downstairs, and work together on his projects, untill seven, by then Kiana's up, she gets some message too, and then I am off to pick up Dad, and go to work. Kids, and Marjan come to the store on weekends, sometimes, and spend the whole day with me, which ends up with us at Toys R Us, and them getting what ever they want, much to their mother's detrement. We take the kids to the movies, a lot more during spring and summer, we have outings like, going on Amir's boat, crossing the Sound, and spending the whole day together, but there are always, bills to pay, and obligations that have to be made. and over all I am blessed and would not change my life for anything. so what do you think, Am i working for a living, or living to work.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:06 AM | Comments (4)

February 27, 2005

Little Red Ridding Hood

There is no escape,
Here we are, with my verses
Ropped around your wrists, your feet
Tangled in the web I weave, and the
Sweet acceptance of surrender

It's the images I feed you
Peeled citrus sours, pulped
Juices on your lips, the feel
Of my breath on your neck, and
The sooth of my teeth on your skin,
The way I caress your face with my hair,
And the way I tell you in sordid details,
How and what I will do to you, as you close
Your eyes and simmer within your limbs,
Ir's the blood I draw, teasing your breasts,
Pulling your dark nipples between my tongue, and lips
And penetrate you, my vessels, my fingers and my wrists
Bringing you closer, out of your Polar sleep, coloring you
In hues deep, my reds, and oranges, my ambers and golds,
Breaking your skin, I sip in, flooding you in my filth,
My disease, erecting in you my Celestial Ghosts, taking you
Mouth to mouth, lips devouring lips, breathing in you,
With you on all fours, crawling, on your belly,
Every pores,Oriffices, and cavities

Your creature, your Ghoul, of your wanting,
Your discretions, Your Wicked Beauty, Your descent,
Your fall, your words, papers, your dreams, your metall,
My maidens, my mermaids,my whores, my Goddesses, my alter,
My humor, my geography, my bones,the casteration you wittnessed,
The chill, my winter, my season, my Saphire skys, my call,
My morsels, my dagger, your throat, your damage, my soul

And the mirror I give you,
the beauty you will find, porcelain skin,
Long Blackened mane, pouting lips of red,
All, and all, my allowance to you, so
You come again, and take a closer
Look in the woods

Posted by Idinraha at 04:55 PM | Comments (0)

Masturbating in public

Hmmmm, My wife told me yesterday she feels like Howard Stern's wife, worrying how far I go, in my writing, images, pictures, the severity of my desires, and the allure of my sins. Thank God, she does not read my pages, allowing me my space. She told me not along ago, that after living with me for so long, just the idea of living with anyone else seems so boring to her.

I just wrote a piece, it was brewing in me, and had come to me in pieces, but today, it came, and wow, it was multiple orgasms, bursting one after another, breathless and teething, raw, and wonton, coming out of me, first the head, and then the shoulders, and torso, and the body whole, beutiful as love, and severe as death, and such rapture, such glory, It was like masterbating in public. in exhibition, on display, and such climax, such physical pleasure, and pain. i wish I could describe it, I wish you could know, I will post it here soon. LITTLE RED RIDDING HOOD.

So, let's put the forks and knives aside, roll your sleeves, and dig in, feel the food in your palms, in your fingers, let your lips feel the taste of your skin, as you eat, let the juices dripp on your chin. twirl you tongue , so every inch of your mouth, is soiled with the taste of your food, let it stay, chew slowly, allow yourself your primal pleasure, dont eat, tear the pieces, devoure, free yourself of the formal jests of your social upbringing, take a naked walk in the woods, walk bare feet, let your skin feel the breeze, walk in the rain, make love in the rain, become one with the soil, the earth, climb a tree, and jump in a lake, Live, live

Posted by Idinraha at 03:45 PM | Comments (4)

The Importance Of Being Earnest

If you knew how much fun is for me, writing these pages, the ones who write know, but its not only writing it, its Putting It Together,finding the right quotes, the right picture, not being bounded by anything, but decency. It is also pleasing to know, that I do have readers, as few as they are, but the fact that you take the time, to log in,Click, your anticipation for finding something of me here, something different, something that might turns on a light in your head, or brings a smile, some kind of understanding, knowing, inspiration.........yes it is fun, but as much as it is, its secondary -for The trees will fall, the noise will be made, whether any one will hear it or not.

It's an urge, that has always been in me, pen, or pencill, paper, or books, leaving traces, for me, that I have been here, but also is the process of being filled, and purge. It' my ever search for new words, to find them, and handle them, find their edges, their weights, their gender, their character, their soul, and setting them up, in a right setting, there are words that starts, a poem, a whole poem, unzipped in my head by inspirations of one word. And then befor I sleep the images that hunt me, My Father peeling an Orange, sharing it with my son, and me, -yes, yes, now only if I could bring that to life. The sweet, intimacy of one look, when I look at my wife, and she she takes me, and locks me in, as close as she can. The image of my baby girl, at two years of age, falling sleep in my arms, as I wash her in the shower, the beauty, of each image, the words they speak to me, their intimate collaboration, and my surrender, so they become another line etched in my gray matter, for ever, the wet sense of Amin's lips every time he kisses me on the mouth,........

And this morning, siting together with Amin, on the couch, in the store, as he watches his shows, and I go through the Sunday Times, just sitting next to him, and then I come across the quote by Janathan Safran Foer, WHY DO I WRITE ?.........as good as it is, I bring you ,another morcel, so you take it in, taste it in your mouth and chew on it, swallowing it down, yes, maybe now we have a better idea, WHY DO WE WRITE,..............

Posted by Idinraha at 11:41 AM | Comments (1)

Why do I write?...............by Jonathan Safran Foer

" Why do I wrtie?, Its not that I want people to think I am smart, or even that I am a good writer. I write because I want to end my loneliness."

Posted by Idinraha at 11:17 AM | Comments (0)

February 26, 2005

Casey, and the sunshine band

Well, I posted CASEY, one of the thoughest pieces I have written,....they are always things to say, points to be made. It is amazing to me how we have become so cold, so desensitized. I think is the over exposure, allowing shamelesness sip slowly within us. Or it is a deffence mechanism, Shrugging and telling ourselves,WHAT CAN WE DO?. well as long as we cover our eyes, not much I guess. Sepehri, one of my favorite Persian Poets has a vers; " We did not allow their hands to reach the hights, and filled their pockets with Habbits".

It's been quiet here, we have not had many comments, I know the site was visited by my Hommies at the Gym, but no comments yet. that is another thing that surprises me, How many people are out there, some very educated ones, that have a certain fear about Internet, and logging in. The Myth out there is that once you get in, you will be exposed, your identity will be lifted, and hosts of other maladies come to you. HOGWASH, Internet is basically a very large convenient library, it is, you find what you want, from most uploaded Porn, to scientific papers, you choose, and you take the blame, its merely a machine, that works at your whim, so for God's sake, GET ON WITH IT.
This ia the way of future, this is the FUTURE, as impersonal as you make it, it could bring people together too, over huge distances. by click of a button. Anyway, I know many of you have actually a life out there, but don't get left out.

Posted by Idinraha at 03:29 PM | Comments (1)

Casey was not killed by a bullet

I am sitting here, hoding my hands,
The taste of cigarette, bitter in my mouth,
Asking myself, if Casey knew, after the last blow,
Did she wake up smiling that morning,
Did she hum a tune in the shower,
Did her hair glisten in the light,
And her blue eyes radiated with life.

There is a deliberate anger to this city
A quiet shame, that does not walk uptown,
Does not wear tuxedoes, or hail a cab,
There are plantations south of Bronx,
And Harlem is where, slabs of meat
Are cut from the bones, and young Chicanos
Look for their names in deserted basketball
Courts, as weed grows within the cracks of their skulls

Casey slept with the Black man, she
gave herself to a Latino, selfless
She opened her wound to a Hobo,
And drank 100 proof, with a
Hooker named Bob, on her
Knees, gapping mouth,
she wellcomed their shame,
And housed their pain, she
Stood by the MET, and stared,
Taking her clothes off, one by one
And stood bare, as the City watched.

There is a quiet Heresy growing here,
Inside the Churches, silent moves,
And stays, Behind the alters, young boys
Are raped and blessed by Holly water,
Cock mouthed, bent, violated by
Priests, wearing Calvin Kline underwears,
Hiding their hard penises.

Casey got her best lay, pinned
Against a wall by the wall Street,
And after she was left with a twenty
Dollar bill, she cried, for she had never
Been paid, not by the Latino, the Black man,
Or the Hobo, But the White Man in Pin Stripe suit
Had to pay her, to seprate himself.

Something in her blew to pieces,
She yellped, and asked the every day withnesses,
Am I not your daughters, sisters, mothers, or sons,
They turned their back, hailed their Yellow Cabs,
Waiting for the morning papers, to tell them, how they felt,
Casey Was Not Killed By a Bullet.

Posted by Idinraha at 02:56 PM | Comments (1)

Breakfast

Opening the kitchen door,
I let the morning air inside,
Fill the kettle with water,
And promise of coffee

You enter the kitchen,
Stretching the remainder of your sleep
From the creases of your pajamas,
Your hair unkempt, eyes half open,
Your bones holding your shel,hesitant,
Awakaning in your joints

Sitting by the window,behind the table
You look out, searching for words
You could not find last night,
I set the bread, cheese, and
The coffee on the table, then
Move behind you, holding
You around your shoulders

You lean back,
With your head against my breasts
And say,"sorry", as I find my way
Under your shirt, you sigh
Leaning further back to me

I come around, and kneel
Reach out, hoding you
in my hand, turn my head up
So you see the mischief in my eyes
And then we share our breakfast

Posted by Idinraha at 02:23 PM | Comments (0)

Sandwich recipe........... ...........

One day, I went next door, and asked Steve, if we can make an original sandwich together, we did, I bought one for Anthony once and he liked it so much, he called yesterday to inquire about the ingridient, so that's how it goes;

Sliced London Broil, with Montrey jack cheese, you heat them together, take a French bread, cut in half, you put some Creole Mustard Remoulade sauce, smear it over the bread, then put the heated cheese and the meat on top of it, and add roasted red paper
strips and Caramelized Onions( could use raw onion too), it makes one hell of a sandwich, tasty and yummy,.....enjoy

Posted by Idinraha at 10:25 AM | Comments (0)

Babki, a man with the slow hands

Well, Yesterday, I recieved a call from Andrea, she said,Babki, wanted to know if I was going to the Gym, he wanted to see me, oh..I felt so wanted, and you know what that does to me, all tingles, told her I will be there in five minutes. and also mentioned that I had written another piece about my Hommies, at the Gym, which she responded to by OH MY GOD,...Once there, I saw Anthony, and he told me, that I am in danger of losing my membership,( What membership), then i saw Babki, splayed on the floor, with Sean working on him,he just laughed, I also told Andy, and Ron that there is a new piece for them to read. then I went to the locker room to change, and before long Babki was there, He refused to change in front of me, he is such a tease,...but he said he will not get naked untill I leave the locker room, heh, well I guess I am losing some of my privilages......waching Babki, stripp,..seeing his Porcelean skin, under the lights, seeing him all wet breathlessly drying himself, with my eyes searching every inch of him, for another tatoo, has always been the highlight of my many mornings,....but I guess no more. Well me, and Babki go a long way, beside, our in your face sense of humore, and our love for indulgance for Priscription Drugs( we compare notes, asking each other , what are you on these days ?), we had a Kodack moment, not long ago. We were team mates, in competition, and there were points for most original pictures, so one day after I am done excersizing, Babki shows up , with a bottle of Baby oil, and says, he wants to oil my body and take a picture, He also had brought a Bow tie, to wrapp around my neck, for the picture. so we go to Sean's office, he asked me to stripp, which I did, standing in all my glorry, with nothing on....then he put the Bow tie on me, and starts putting oil on my body, and rubbing it, so it gets spread, once he worked my shoulders, and chest going down, I guess he just noticed that I am bare ass standing there, and the intimacy of the situation got to him, so he stopped, and shipishly asked, Can you at least put your shorts on for Gods sake. I guess every body has boundries, even Babki. anyway the picture is available, and will be sent to you upon request. We all enjoy Babki plenty in the Gym, some of us more than others. but I also have to tell you the Story of Ron, squatting with a chain around his waist with a 70 lb Dumble , hanging from the chain, and the effect of it on certain Female(no name0 Client. but thats whole another story. I am going to make a pettition and ask every one at the Gym sign it, so Babki gives me back my privilages, Hmmm, cant wait........

Posted by Idinraha at 07:45 AM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2005

Quills,and ropes

She has left traces, her scent inbedded in the sheets, she comes when the moon eludes the night, and stars send the last rays of light, far, faraway. She comes bare, silent, she comes to take, to ravish, and burn, and she does, in fine steps, as she tears every fabric, every cover, for she finds only the heat of a living body, the object of her desires, she brings leather, she brings chains, a rope, and quails, so after she cuts the skin, after she lifts the layes, when blood dripps,in tear shapes, and cymes in fine textures, she picks her quails and draws in sanscrit or latin, words of her tongues and peculiar lines that frame her words. and then she frees the hands,gentle, she kisses the skin, and suters it in fine silks, of her mane. then she holds me on her breasts, so I can hear her hearts as they echoe hollow, for she has lived beyound the realms, she offers me her tongue, her breath, in kisses, and songs, she feeds me under her breast, and luls me to sleep. Mornings come fresh, I am all tingles, my skin pink, my bones young, My hair grown, my teeth sharp, and electroc bolts firing inside my frame, my voice devine, and breath of flowers in my mouth, I have been portrayed, in her quails, I have been found, and returned to me,whole,with no erusions of time. but the soul is lost

Posted by Idinraha at 05:33 PM | Comments (0)

FREE STYLE adventures

Well i think the allmighty, has a bit of O C D C, we had snow again overnight. Cyrus brought to my attention that how our rants have been a bit on the heavy side, so I tried my hand at humor, and wrote,HANGING WITH MA HOMMIES, its fun, read it. I am blessed by knowing Anthony and LD, and their Gym has been a haven to me. I have met many interesting people, and have made many friends there, I will show you more of them by writing more about my HOMMIES. -Ron,the handsome, quiet one that Marjan has a thing for, and wants a ride on his motorcycle, Andrew, which has taken the title of MOUSE away from Ron, just by the girth of his size, he is cuddly like a bear, and has a very soft human side about him, the first time I met him in the locker room, I told him, you know Andrew-IT ONLY HURTS THE FIRST TIME, AFTERWARD YOU GET TO ENJOY IT TOO, and then left him while he tried to grasp my meaning, it is all in good fun. LD, Anthony's partner, who would take your breath away, by her in your face attitude, and a body, that makes you want to take a ROPE to bed with her. I did offer to take her sport pants off with my teeth, but she was not ready for it. Then, we have Sean, who is in charge of nutricient, and diet in the Gym, he is a quiet soul,(HELLO, MOTTO) who changes his looks every other week, and yes, there was a thing about his eyebrows for a while. Rob, is the new kid in town, probably the youngets kid in the Gym, Handsome, like a model, with a body that has made me, and others salivate. Andrea, is in charge of shedualls and books, she is another Eastern european beauty, and the only girl in the Gym that tries very hard to see me in the buff, by walking in the men's locker room unannouced. Domenic, comes across Moody, he is quiet and very handsome, with a girl friend as hot as they come, Christina is a new trainer, the red hair with beautifull bone structure, she is coming along, I heard her yesterday, asking her client after the stretching, "was it as good for you as it was for me ", and I thought , Yeah, she is getting it, its all in the attitude. Master Robert, is from South America, always coming up with differec schemes to get another twenty out of me, he is our Martial Art, instrucor, and you can always catch him whispering sweet nothing in girls ears. And of course Anthony, my other MAN CRUSH. who leads all these misfits and has created a Gym that works out like a sweet harmony, He smiles, with a twinkle in his eyes, soft spoken, and always ready to help. He likes to spank Ray's butt(one of the clients), comes up with the worst off color Jokes, and has a picture of Sarah's SHAVED PUSSY ( sarah's cat), in her office. Then there are the clients;- Micheal, the playboy in resident, who has the best Nipples in town, Rob, who is as loud and funny as they come, he comes out once in while in a thong and dances to his special music, close, very close behind a very surpsied female client. He is a riot. Sarah is Anthony's client, who insist on calling him Daddy, every time he slaps her on her butt, she is funny, and outrages with her jokes. and host of other characters, which makes excercising at FREE STYLE, an experience beyond imaginations,.......I would tell you later about Anthony and LD's annuall parties, which invloves, Fashion, models, CROSS DRESSERS, and many mor surprises. Also have to mention about Andrew's erotic Moans, when he trains with heavy weights, LD's gorgeous Butt,(the best in business), how Ron looks in dragg, and many more adventures we have there, So Come to FREESTYLE GYM,you would lose weight, get in shape, and leave with your psyche throbbing.

Posted by Idinraha at 08:02 AM | Comments (0)

Notes to myself...........................by Hugh Prather

There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach.... to force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.

Posted by Idinraha at 07:56 AM | Comments (0)

February 24, 2005

hanging with ma hommies...........Caution , locker room humor

I was done, so I walked into the locker room, Ron, was there, standing naked in front of the mirror, shaving his head, Ron is one of the trainers, about 5'10", with handsome face and Blue eyes, he weighs about 210,lb , all muscle with only 8 percent body fat, and he does shave his head. " Hi love", I said, while starting to take my shorts and Tshirt off, " Hi..", Ron said, looking at me with a smile in the mirror. " so whats up, sweet heart (I call every one there,sweet heart), I asked, " well, We are very much done with the walls, now I have to find some nice wall papers, for the walls, and curtains," Ron, answered, " you are enjoying this more than you should, does LD knows about your pretty side", I said with a wink, "jesus javad,....Can't a man enjoy decorating his house", Ron complained, while still working the razor, but now running it on his shoulders, and top of his back. " of course a man can enjoy decorating his house, but should not brag about it, half naked to another man standing in the buff", I responded. By now Ron was all red in the face, he knew I was joking, but.....then, Andrew wallked in, Andrew, is also a trainer, 258,lb, about 5'11", even bigger built than Ron. "hello sweet heart", I said, "hi, cuttie" he responded. Andrew has a habbit of standing in front of the mirror and comb his hair, but his hair is not more than a half inch long, so he pushes the comb through his hair, while looking at himself lovingly in the mirror. " YOU slut, I thought I was your sweet heart",Ron screeched, " he is a slut" Andrew said, while keeping his eyes focused and still combing his hair." well I have enough room in my heart, for both you beauties", I said. while I walked in the shower, and closed the shower curtain. By now Andrew was done with his hair, and was making his way out,and Ron was still busy, in front of the mirror, " So any of you beauties want to join me here, and wash my back", I said , pulling my head out of the shower, Ron, just stood still for a minute, and looked at me, saying "Jeeeeees.....", while Andrew left the locker room laughing.........

Posted by Idinraha at 03:05 PM | Comments (1)

Savant

Last night laying in bed with Amin and Kiana, I was trying to teach them about subtleties of speech, and how to use their voice, and pitch to comunicate better. I started talking to them in a low hush voice, before you know it, "I Can not hear you dad", said Kiana while scooching closer, with her head almost om my chest. "talk louder dad" said Amin, turning his head. " you see what happened, by talking quietly I did, get your attention, you also moved closer, to hear me better, that's a trick I learned from my teacher ina comunications class", I said. They both laughed, it was the pleasure of discovery, and knowing that their good old dad, still had a few tricks up his sleeve. Then I talked in a flat voice, avery calm, low pitch, cold voice, with a second of silence between every words. "thats scary daddy, I am scaed", Kiana said, while hanging on to me , and going under the covers. Amin was braver, but he did not like it either, The lesson was, that a quiet, measured flat voice, can be much scarier than loud shouting. Then ofcourse I had to get the voice of the Chipp monk, and make them laugh, which I did. we talked and laughed for a while, before we heard Marjan's voice from the other room,"go to sleep guys, no more talking", auh, oh, they both said as they both went under cover, then they both found sleep, and told me they loved me, as they become motionless, allowing me the pleasure of listening to them breathing. Sohrab Sepehri, one of my favorite Persian poets, says: " sitting under a willow tree, I took a leaf from over head, and told them, can you imagine a better
blessing,......I heard them say, he talks in magic"....

After they were sleep, I walked out, took a look at our bedroom, the door was closed, that meant , Marjan was sleeping, and we would not have a night cap....... so I went down stairs, turn the TV on, and watched the science channel, it was a documentry about Daniel, he is a SAVANT, gifted, remember Rain man, he had this incredible gift with the number, multiplaying very big numbers in his head, He saw the numbers in a different way, in different shapes, almost like a painting, and when he recieved them, and multiplies them, in his mind, he saw it as a seceenery, and by reading the scenery he could come up with the answer. He was amazing, also lucky since his form of Authism, did not limit his social abbilities. he is a young man, in his early twentties. They took him to Iceland, and gave him a week to learn the Icelantic language, which is one of the hardest languages. After one week, he was able to talk fluently enough to be interviewed on live TV. Human brain is an amsing tool. If you go to SCIENCE CHANNEL.COM YOU CAN GET A LINK TO THE PROGRAM, and watch it, it was very interesting. I think we are all Authistic to some level, we call it TALENT.

MEATAL, is back, she did leave us a message, Cyrus left us some comments, so did FEREYDOON, and Maryam, all our ussuall suspects, thank you all, now I am off to the Gym to get my demons out, its lots of fun.................

Posted by Idinraha at 07:55 AM | Comments (0)

Notes To Myself.............................by hugh Prather

There are no absolutes for something so relative as a human life.
There are no rules for something so gentle as a heart.

Posted by Idinraha at 07:51 AM | Comments (0)

February 23, 2005

Maybe....

Posted by Idinraha at 05:19 PM | Comments (0)

skinning the lamb alive

Long time ago, in the land I was, in the age of my youth, when I was greener, taller, and more aqmbitious, I read a book, By Ali Shariati, named Kavir. He had a phd in sociology from switzerland, and to many of us he was a reveloutionary, someone who could ask for more, go to jail, come back out, be tortured, and then ask again. You know, its a very sad, but liberating moment when you realise that you will be killed for what you believe, and you know there is no way out. out of obligation to yourself, your ego, your id, your essence, there is noway out, that is the way it has to be , and it is so good that it is, the way it is. For we all need dignity in our lives, we all need honor, we need our own respect most of all, being in peace with one self. At such point Death is a blessing, once you get over the everydayness of our days, our habbits and hobbys, what is there, more dignified that dying for what you believe in, it almost seems that death has been cheated for it becomes a gift. And judas becomes our best friend, for without him jesus would have been just another prophet, and without Curicification, where would have he been. so tell me who is cheated here , who is used, and if Judas had a choice which life he would choose. Anyway in his book Mr, Shariati, told us living for him was like " being a lamb and skinned alive", can you imagine, isn't death at such point a sweet nectar, much desired, much wanted. And the Glory of Death, the solumn dignity of it, and its surprise that how joyessly it is wellcomed, and held. Ali, the factuall and in many ways the mythical figure in our religious also talks about such death, and the sweet, sweet liberation it brings, kissing the cold face of death. Some might not understand this, but I think I do. But these are our Philosopher kings, and yet still you will see the same courage, in the firemen, who asked for blessing from their chaplin, before they went back in the two towers, for they knew they will not come back, the soldiers who fight for our cause in Iraq, right or wrong, they see a different reality, and believe me they enjoy their hours of living with more passion and delight, that we will ever know. as Virginia wolffe said; " to know life and love it for what it is, and the ability to put it aside ", for our death is a big part of our living , and how a man dies, evaluates his life.

I asked him point blamk, if he would disrobe, and stands naked in front of the lights, and allow it's glare to blind him, and allow our eyes to run on him and everything of his. and he said yes. I cried, his generosity made me cry and his humanity. and he knows he would be better for it. much better. At least thats how I tell myself, when I am tired of my poking and prodding after I push and shove, and ask,........they would be all better for it. No matter how painfull, this is his gift, this has effected his life, like no other things, that what makes him and his experience unique, and he has choosen to share. FEREYDOON will share with us, probably something more meaningfull than we have ever posted here, so lets allow him his space and wait for his gift.

Posted by Idinraha at 04:06 PM | Comments (0)

Wounds,

Autism epidemic,- One of my friend sent me a report on Autism, the silent epidemic. It is amazing how it has grown many folds in the last ten years. Autism inflicts 17000 kids every year, in comparison Cancer inflicts 12000, every year. It devastes the parents, it leaves scars and guilt, and the rate of divorce amongst parents of autistic children is high. Bob Wright, the chairman of NBC, and his wife Susan have an autistic child, and they have set a 50 million dollars fund on reaserch to find the causes of this diseas, mostly supported by private funds. There has been efforts by Mr, and Mrs, Wright, to get congrassionl leaders to increase funding for reaserch. They estimate the cost of life time caring for an autistic person to be between 5 to 10 million dollars. NBC has shcedualled a program to increase awareness of this epidemic, please watch it; http://www.msnbc.com/id/6844737/ Well, these are wounds that become our afflictions. We all bear some, half healed, scabbed, and ever fresh wounds, that guide our lives, they effect us, and leave great traces on who we become. Deppressions, addictions, suicide, kids cutting themselves, all signs of suffering, and an outcry for help. some of us get to accept our wounds, we might even take the scabbs off and take a fresh look, and find some rmedy for healing, if we do the wound becomes our gift, what makes us grow and be different, we find empathy, we become kinder, calmer, more understanding. I have been hungry, I have been poor, I have been alone, and deppressed, I have lived with my wounds, it has effected my life, how I see myself. But I have come to accept them,and to heal them. When I was younger I never thought that somebody could love me enough to marry me, I went through many relationships, which I destroyed, I ended, before the other person could, no rejections. I never though that I deserved to be a father, the responsibility of it. But someone loves me enough that she married me eighteen years ago, and stayed with me, I have kids that adore their silly daddy, and these realtaionships have made me kinder to myself. I have a thing about helping people by cars they need, since I have lived in this country without a car. and I try to feel for the other person and be fair in any relationships, or even business contacts. One of my wifes problem with me is that I am too generous, I like to take care of people, I like to give gifts, it gives me satisfaction and great pleasure. So all together, I am okay, blessed, and I know it. but I also know it was the wounds in my life that have made me try harder and become who I am, AN OKAY person. So celebrate your wounds, talk about them, show the scars, be in control, allow them to help you. tell us about your personal experience, be daring, be human, and accept who you are, and let peace wash over you and reach others,..........................

Posted by Idinraha at 11:08 AM | Comments (2)

Thoughts.............................by Hugh Prather

I will let this day come to me and bring me peace

Posted by Idinraha at 09:05 AM | Comments (0)

pictures

Yesterday, I posted a beautifull picture, called caged, afterward, looking at the site, I was not sure, nudes are tricky, there is a fine line, ussually, if body parts are showing , it would be good not to see theface, and on that photo, the face was of a younger woman, and very innocent face. I was not comfortable with it, it was too provocative, so this morning I deleted the picture, and uploaded
THE GRAVEDIGGER. i hope you like it. if you have an opinion about what we post here, let me know, I will be interested, if you have suggestions, new offerings, or section you like , tell me, Fereydoon came with the idea of posting a COMMENTS coloumn on the site and the site is better for it. I am going to start posting , short sentences, from different authors, these are words and comments that have helped me in dealing with my every day life. To start I have chosen, HUGH PRATHER, comments from his book, NOTES TO EACH OTHER.

Posted by Idinraha at 08:42 AM | Comments (0)

February 22, 2005

Day tripper

Tuesday evening is here, and rushing by steady and delibrate. I am still here, like what Papilon said "Bastards, I am still here", where is this motion of time saved, is there a backup, but memories, all storred in our feeble psyche, well, posted a few poems, a new picture, spend quite a time going through many imges and saved them, some of them are breath taking,....you will see, bear with me, I have promissed you variety, and that you will get. Metal has traced her way back home from our woods, thats good, we all need to know where we belong, take inventory, simmer in stabaility of everydayness of our lives, and take courage to make other trips to the woods. Fereydoon sent us a poem long time ago, when we just had started, and not knowing where we were going with this site, I posted it under Comments, but I am going to look it up, and posted where it should be,......OXYJEN has sent me a note telling me I could post any of her pieces under her name here, i am tempted, so I will look into that. she is very straight forward and conffesional in her poetry, well we will see,.....Cyrus is back, left comments, and we talked briefly on IM. I think we have over one hundred fifty pieces posted here, that's so good, it makes me proud, it also scares the hell out of me, now I am obligated to these pages, to you, and to myself, so, we still live through our fears, and enjoy the process. I have asked Cyrus, to come up with a banner, as a guide to the site, and that is in the works, I also will ask you to rate the pieces and vote for favorites, just to keep you busy, and curious, so you keep visiting, I will go home, and hopefully after a few hugs from my beauties, and dinner, I will watch, HOUSE,md, tuesdays at nine, on fox,.....

Posted by Idinraha at 05:24 PM | Comments (1)

Your flesh, My bones............................for Laura Brown

I am hungry mother,
My belly aches,
i sit at the kitchen table
Waiting for you,
Watching my bowl of soup,
Pieces of bread,
But the hallway is empty

I am taller now mother,
Carrying your face on my head,
You never saw my breasts
The pink soft flesh, my brown nipples
My tenderest skin, between my legs
Has bled, for I am a woman now, your girl

I am a wife now mother,
Claimed by a man, I am a caretaker,
I pick up his laundry, cook him dinner
Iron his shirts, and make little conversations
At the dinner table,
The way you did , with a smile on your face,
He is as tall as the man you left

He has seen my breasts
And penetrated me, between my legs,
Crawled on me like a reptile
And lapped on my skin with his tongue, and cock
I have accepted him
The way you did, with a smile on your face
He is as distant , as the man you left

I am hungry mother,
Yet I can not eat
I open the doors of his house
The windows, yet I can not breathe
My breasts have faded, my skin reveals my bones
While I try to find my face in pictures you left
I cut you from me-- your flesh, my bones

I am hungry mother
With your eyes sinking in my face,
I tell myself, I am in control,
Holding my intakes,
But he breaks my fast, violates my regimen
While i crouch and tremble
the way you did, with a smile on my face
He is as kind as the man you left

I am hungry mother
With a question that fill my days
A question you can answer,
Did it get better after you left
Did the hunger go away

Posted by Idinraha at 11:48 AM | Comments (2)

Shams

Shams, forever dervish,
I made my way, vagabond,
Floating in breeze, I slept
With the last petal of rose,
And drank its nectar,
Wrapped in robe of many colors,
I kneeled at breath of a sunset,
Surets, verses on my tongue
I wept, and sniffed the soil,
damp and pungent

Shams, forever lover,
Dont bound me in ropes,
I dare your rapture
I carry this soil in me
This earth, arrogant mother
That walks away in times,
days, by seduction of the sun
And attraction of the moon,
Blue in desire, while the stars
come to vouyer in burst of lights

Pour me another,
Of your crimson wine, so
Longing subsides the reason,
So I dance crazed in alleys and circles
As my sight soars beyond the realms
Above this golden dome, to the eyes of gods
With my apostles, drunken whores, their hair
Spent, angels naked, lost in prayers
leaving the gatekeepers in disarray

Tell me
Ofthe secrets you dared
Thoughts of mayhem,
Awaken the souls of the sinners,
Call them in your surrets and psalms.
To see the unseen in a glare
Let sin be the guide, as we marvel
In it's scent, lets yellp, and holler
At the top of these heaps

And when done,
Left in tears and sweats,
And the orgy of corpses dead
Wake me to a song, a whisper
Wash me in Rose water,
Call me a name, baptize me
In your breath,
As the angels sing us a hymn
With the father and the son,
Standing afar
bring me to a new birth

Posted by Idinraha at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)

All the pretties........................By Metalnymph

Throats bared to a dulcet wine
Running jugular veins
Lips primed in opulent decor
Mouthing a bloom of stains

-Treasured femmes-
In fur wrapped skins
Glossed curls framing features
pale bossom bared
Glass eyes snared
Gilded palette of entcing creatures

Behind closed doors
In whispered hush
Craving rises with the stars
To blaze those places
Painting enraptured faces
Common senses straying far

On a cracked mirror, bare
To gaze on fair
-beauty-
Rising like a tidal in the sea
Writhing deep in oceans
In fluid motion
Setting currents coursing free

A wanton kiss
From plush lips
-Bliss-
Tracing rivers in easy line
Saffron honeyed dew
Of greedy tongues who knew
Luscious kisses placed
-Divine

Posted by Idinraha at 10:52 AM | Comments (0)

I need a hug

I was fifteen years old, we were having a get together at Homayoon's house, which was across from Fereydoon's house, I think Neda was with us too. We had talked about poetry, about life, and I was laying down on his bed, and then I felt cold and lonely. so I turned to the boys and said, I need a hug, and then Homayoon came and laid next to me and held me. Some mornings, when I come to the office, after my coffe, and first cigar of the day, i do feel cold, and I do need a hug. But these days I am much luckier, in our households, HUGS are the biggest currency, we hug every where, in the hallways, in the kitchen, I finish my every day, by hugging my two beauties and guide them to sleep. My kids come to me, and say DADDY I NEED A HUG, and they know they will get the warmest biggest bear hug ever. Women love hugs, they like to be held and cuddled, before after, any time, if a woman likes you they touch you, its like they try to contact on more primal basis. I learned hugging from the women in my life, I learned to be generous about them, and available. In the Gym where I excersize, they call me THE FLAMING STRAIGHT GUY, I am always touching, smilling, flirting, man, or women, I am an equall apportunity flirt. some get scared, specially men, when I go at them, right to their faces, and they dont know how to handle me, and I enjoy rattling their cages and shake their sensib ilities. poor souls, only if they knew;, so send me a HUG, just send it, you will make my day.

I think these pages have made my relationship with my sister more intimate. she reads them loyally, and I presume she enjoys them. At last she has found the older sister she never thought she had !!, we are not a close family, I have been always jelous of My wifes family, and how they love each other, how they enjoy each other's compony, and have found comfort in being a part of them, and its all thanks to AKRAM'S LOVING SOUL, I always say my mother in law fell in love with me sooner than my wife. and I owe her so, so much.

Well, Mia at dusk, did so much for Fereydoon , he left two comments, asking for her phone number, good, and I did a Barbara Walter on Maryam, and she cried after reading my right eye. Cyrus has been curiosly absent, probably snow boarding , or climbing somewhere. I tried yesterday to post Metal's poem, ALL THE PRETTIES, but could not get on the site to do that, hoefully today, Metal has posted a new poem WICKED BEAUTY, and dedicated it to me, that's so generous of her, hopefully she will let us to sample that too. she also has left comments, it is so good o have her here, and her contributions adds so much to these pages. I am also getting the ich to write a piece myself, I might post MY RIGHT EYE, on poets.com and see what happens. well, the UPS man is here, delivering one of my hugs, thanks, and incidently MARYAM, is promissin us a Rant, and I think she will write about PREGNANCY, she knows how I feel I have missed the bo0at on that one, YUP, men miss a lot by not getting pregnant and by not knowing, the art of giving life, and nurturing a promise. God that is so limiting for all men, but hey we get to put the garbage out........

Posted by Idinraha at 08:05 AM | Comments (1)

February 21, 2005

Its what you can bear

The stars should be alligned, the moon present, the night crisp and clear, I take another drag of my cigarette, allow the epoison to null my senses, squint my eyes and push the key board, and there it is, the attempt at transformation of my thoughts, As I try to set them together, like a child, waiting to be praised, for the configeration he has made. To catch up with the scenery, to make it look better, to leave foot prints,yes yes, this is the direction we are going. I do not have to have a subject, just scattered thoughts,...it is called creative writing after all. caught the last minute of -THE HOURS, the movie again....just sat down and watched it, what stayed with me was the phrase: "it is what you can bear" , Laura Brown says, and also what Virginia Wolf,says: " to find life, for what it is, look at it, love it, and then put it aside." . there is so much magic for me, in transmitting and comunicationg our most personal experiences, and sharing them, although you are never sure, if the reader would be hospitable, and accepting. I guess what Metal did, was courages, in painting her erotic images, Cyrus did it in a different way, you have to labor to find his image, he does not give it to you free, you have to deserve it. Well Maryam did, took her almost two hours, but she was very satisfied by what she saw. Another happy customer. Ferreydoon posted a poem for us, of his beloved Rio, and his longings, and it was satisfaying to see each of my guest rants, got comments from others beside me. Cyrus left a comment for Metal, and Metal commented on Fereydoon, I guess we have to wait for Maryam to come up with a rant or we can ask Mehrnoosh to send us one, if she is still visiting us. Yesterday, I told two of my clients, about what I do here. They asked for the site adress, and said they will visit, if they do I hope they leave a comment,....you hear that MR, and MR, B.... I wrote a piece yesterday, and first put it under Rants, and then changed it to Poems, MY RIGHT EYE,....I like it much, its a brew of everything that happened last week. Its confessional, and raw. so let me know how you regard it. Woke up this morning, with the idea for a piece, a very long piece, I have the background, but it has not come to focus yet, all in good time, I guess, All in good time...

Posted by Idinraha at 02:48 PM | Comments (1)

February 20, 2005

My right eye

Some one knocked at the door, and ran away, sensibilities of surrender, grace of acceptance, I have walked in these roads, and I have looked, with your eyes, I have seen the suunrise, and stood helpless at sunsets, oh tommorow, somehow I shrugg, somehow, I hope, Indiferences scare me, like shapless ghosts, that I only see with my eyes closed, there should be songs I can whisper, to calm me down, The boy in me, still remembers, the boy me is sad, its the sunsett, and the smell of fresh air dusted on the balconies, its the damp soil, its earth, and the convulsion of these roots I have spread, the sooth of dreams, and the reach of sleep, I like my right eye, it sees less, it sees in blown up hues, with no consentration, it sees vague, soft, it does not focus, it can not judge, its the closeness that makes its reality, no depth, just soft wodering light, and kindness of shadows, that mix and merge. I will not see you with my left eye, I would not judge you, or cherrish your colors, its a privilage I have to close these windows, when the lights glare. You can not hurt me, the damage, is my trophy, the damage that came early, and nothing was ever the same. You can not hurt me, even when we play hide and seek, I close my eys, and listen to you breathe, and I know where to find you, my shiny doll, the one I dressed, in pinks and violets. She knew, for one shining moment she knew, but I could not accept her stares, she had to go away. And these wound I keep, this thirst I wont let go, this severe detachment of indiferences. I would not allow you to feel safe, I would not , that would be the death of you and the end of games. So come back, after the kill, when I have closed my right eye, and you can see the pieces of flesh, on my teeh, and the blood, still warm, dripping from my chin, when the urges are satisfied, and death at hand, reachable like a dream, and I will offer you a morsel.........

Posted by Idinraha at 12:08 PM | Comments (4)

Your Kite.................................... a poem by Fereydoon

I remember
On the roof top
In middle of the city
Flying your kite
As I pulled the string
Making it go higher
Letting it go more,
As it got smaller
Sitting on the wind

Then it dove lower
going side way
Among the skycrapers
To my left
Where the mountain was
Where Christ stood tall
With his arms stretched

You walked up
The narrow stairway
I don't know what we said
It didn't matter
I could see it in your eyes
And the smile on your face

I left your kite
On the other side of the earth
In the southern hamisphere
Above the ocean
In Rio

On this side
It's raining hard
I see the lightning
And hear the thunder

Posted by Idinraha at 11:53 AM | Comments (4)

February 19, 2005

Yummmmmmm

Well, well, well, I am still all tingles, yesterday, METAL, sent me her rant, so I post it on the site, In process of doing it, I had to read it a few times, and after many glasses of cold water, it was done. You see I have an advantage of knowing Metal, better than the rest of you, and I also have a picture of her, actually two pictures of her, one with her hair down on her bare shoulders, and one with her hobby( a very good looking chapp, I should say). So I had a bit more of visual help, and no, no ,no Thats my answer to Fereydoon and Cyrus, I can not email her pictures to you guys. That is one of the priviliges of being the editor on this pages, but I will tell you, the evil-female, the Dark, Wicked Beauty she paints for you on her rant. there is definitely some narsisism there, she is very , very easy on the eyes, with Black hair, and beautigull gaze in her eyes, very fetching, and sensual, GULP, another glass of cold water, on its way down. Thanks Metal, it does smell a bit like SEX and Candy here now, and please write us some more, and tell us about those details, you ponted to. Thanks for your courages rapture, this site will never be the same. I never thought I would post a picture of an actress here, but I thought posting Angelina Jolie would be more of a community service, and in process of finding her picture, I came across the amazing following she has on the webb. There is actually a site made on the webb, under, FANTASIZING ABOUT ANGELINA JOLIE. for the longest time, I have had this idea of bying the rights to her lips, and make sofas in their shape, I personally would love to sleep between those lips, but that's another rant all together.

Maryam called me last night over my in-laws house, all excited , shouting " is marjan pregnant? ", I was shocked, asking her if she knows something I don't, to which she answered, " but you wrote about it on your site". She had read the rant BOOK OF PROMISES, which I wrote about Amin's conception and birth, and somehow the time line had disappeared to her. It was funny, and my lil sis, I value your being here so loyaly and reading this pages, and your ever beautiful efforts in knowing and learning more, thanks, and thanks again, and remember Mothers are made for kissing, mothers are made for loving, although our mother as beautiful as she is, is a bit stuck up, but we love her anyway. Maryam solved the PUZZLE, she is not telling about it, but somehow the grin on her face makes me think, the end result of the puzzle, is a picture of Cyrus, THE MABLE MAN in nude, with all its glorry, past and present, I know, I will take another crack at it. So maybe now its time, for FEREYDOON, to write us a guest rant, lets see which one does it first, FEREYDOON or MARYAM. and FEREYDOON, if you do, dont spill the beans about my girlish figuer, that is everpresent in your thoughts. I will post METAL's poem that started this whole thing today, enjoy it....

Posted by Idinraha at 11:29 AM | Comments (0)

February 18, 2005

WICKED BEAUTY.........................a rant by METAL

Where to start? Thank you for thinking, I am interesting enough to include a rant by me on your site.......and it took a while to feel comfortable, letting my thoughts spill out untill I wrote a particular poem that I am happy to let you post along with this, " ALL THE PRETTIES", after all, it was inspired by your fluid pen, the abandon with which you present your work. And in observing how very free and generous you are with your friends, as well as your poetry, I though I would go on a limb, and confess what prompted me to write this poem. "WICKED BEAUTY".......thats how I would describe good looks in general. beauty is a prize among the common, a gift bestowed on the lucky, and wicked to those who seek it. When I say Wicked, I mean in a pleasing way......unleashing lust and want, and desire. And beauty is found in such a wide array of things, but here I am talking of the FEMALE MYSTIQUE, the FEMALE FORM, in all its differences (and glory.) What is beautiful to one may not be to the next.

I find the over-extravagant female to be a thing of beauty, and desire....am not ashamed to admit that I fantasize about her. You know who I am talking about, the figure who is pale in complexion. Dark hair, I have a certain interest in, The longer and darker the better. A handfull of silk wrapped around my fingers.....this is a fantasy, mind you, and nothing that has taken place, but a girl can dream, as men surely do. Of soft plumb red lips, who gasp as I wander. I suppose you could call her THE GOTHIC-FEMME, the one who displays a look af danger. Picture Angelina Jolie, isn't she the most breath taking creature you ever laid eyes on ? I have particular taste in these matters, a dark, evil-seeming woman, is a thing of intense fantasy. Rose McGowan, another lovely....I am drawn to darkness and women who fulfill this image. A tangle of limbs and silken hair on sheets of black, moonlight filtered through parted curtains, on a display of female lust, the more decadent the better, I fantasize in detail.......

I wonder on the taste of her, the feel of her eyes on mine, as I find pleasure in such soft skin, the female mistique bared to me for these moments as I am bared to her. Other-wordly beauty, a face chiseled perfectly with deep set eyes, the color matters not. Though I am drawn to dark eyes, and the reflections they seem to cast off...

Posted by Idinraha at 05:06 PM | Comments (2)

HERO.............................a visual feast

WOW, Just watched HERO, a movie from CHINA , with subtitle, and what a visual feast it was, every frame was breathtaking, the colors that were used, the composition of every scene, amazing, I have seen beautiful images , beautiful movies, but this one oozed art in every frame, It was mind buggling how the creator had seen all this in his head, before he brings it to the screen, The dialouges were also out of this world, the acting. the relationships amongst the characteres, wow, it took my breath away, so go rent it, it is out on video, and enjoy......................... I just had big smile on my face after reading the most recent review I recieved for my poem, Virginia, I am going to write it exactly as it was; "The imagery in this poem is carefully hone by the choice of words around a mood that speakes of a historical passion. Only a woman can capture this passion with such tenderness". that is so satisfying for me, so amazingly satisfying. For all the time that I put in this SHARADE, comments like this make it all worthwhile. ONLY A WOMAN.......

Posted by Idinraha at 02:11 PM | Comments (0)

where do you go when you are lonely

Thats the title of a song by Kors, The lead singer is a hot number, look her up, the song is beautiful, well, it seems Cyrus has made some of us, more interested in himself, by not saying much, thats his style. Fereydoon is back, leaving us comments, we need a LOVE MONGER like him amongst us, he also has very very definite ideas about God, and his being, thanks my gigolo. Cyrus has tried his hand in humor, successfully, he has left a very funny comment. I cleaned up my office today, there were papers piling up, so I cleaned up, gave Mr, Flynn, my assistant lots of papers to sort through. cracked the window, and let the fresh air come in. Today, I have to do lots of reviews, on POETS.COM, so I can earn new quails to write poems again. Talked to Liisa yesterday, read her my new poems, she loved them. You know I could go for ACADEMIC life, I called her and woke her up at 1:pm , can you believe this. we have woderfull conversations, she refuses to log into the site, thinking if she does that, I will not call her anymore, and she would not hear my poems with my voice. She has promissed to take pictures of her paitings and send them to us, so we can post them. not bad, being 5'8" , long limmbed blonde, with a beautifull face, and PHD from Harvard, and on top of it, being an artist, and paint, some of us are more blessed than others. but she has worked very hard to get where she is and, she is a delight. You know, I feel so lucky, having friends, like Liisa, Cyrus,Fereydoon,Metal, Mehrnoosh, Arman, and a sister like Maryam, I am sure you all love me, and enjoy my compony in these pages. I know I am lovely, Kind, intelligent, humerous, and all together, a RENAISSANCE MAN, or maybe A PHILOSOPHER KING, hehe, who needs attention and an audiance all the time. thanks for the complimants, I needed that, I can see Cyrus's smirk, and Fereydoon sighing while ho looks up in disgusst.But that feels better already, so I go review some poems, and get back to you all later.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:55 AM | Comments (1)

Blessing

Posted by Idinraha at 10:53 AM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2005

Book Of Promises..............................love letters in making

When Marjan, asked me to go and buy EPT, I knew something was up, so I found my way to the Drug Store and bought three of them. I also bought me a note book, witha colorful cover, greens, yellows, and purples. After marjan tested Positive, I showed her the Book, telling her , I am going to start writing to him/her, whatever it was going to be. she smiled, and I started that night, writing the BOOK OF PROMISES, for Amin, I wrote about myself, introducing me, and his mother, who we were, and how inexperienced and new we were to this, but I assured him, we both knew LOVE, we had fell in love at first sight, and he could be certain, He would get Love, more than anything else. I think the book was my way of dealing with his promise, the newness of him, and the road we were taking. Amin came to our lives in a difficult period, financially we had lost our business and I was starting anew, and we also had problems, growing up problems in our relationship. And he was the gift, that made everything easy. He brought Love with him, unconditional Love, and his smile, that was, and is always present on his face. He took my breath away, and became the center of my universe. We had such wonderfull time together, Him and I, only us. selfish, yes but when we were together no one mattered, and the bond was so obvious. He is still adamant about how he loves me, more than anyone else. and knows, nobody loved him more than I did, and do. Untill the Purplestarnana, my Kiana came around, we had four exclusive years. and then, he had to share me with the spitfire that is Kiana. I wrote in that book for four years, and Amin will get it on his Eighteenth birthday. Kiana has her own book too, but that's whole another story.

Posted by Idinraha at 04:00 PM | Comments (1)

Goddess............................your sapphic erotics

Oh, my unexpected,
How I yearn for you,
The fluid currency of you
Flooding in urges and wantings,
Lucient, lumminious,and sleek,
merging in me, streams, running quietly
Wearing down the stones I make,
The sculpted, Weathered ego, and Id,
The essence of sands, Time , and wind

And the hues you bring,
In ginger, golds, and ambers,
As we sit side by side, mixing
Colors, in sanded croded particles,
A pinch of exhuliration, bits of extasy,
Dashes of pain, anticipation, and longing,
Tears, salts of the earth, your sweat,
The liquidity of reds, in your veins,
As you cut your skin, and let it drip, along
The side of your fingers, the last taboo, the
Urgency of desires, mixed in wooden pots,
So the memories of woods, athrophies, the greens
Lushes and living, the cries of the owls, and howls
Of the wolves, the thirst of a hunt, and happiness
Of a kill, all , and all, for me, then you reach beyound
The Celectial ghosts, and bring me the Blues of Saturn,
Solitude of Mars, Silvers of Mercury, and dusts of the Moon

Then you lay me naked,
With Golden coins on my eyes, and brush me your paint,
In gentle strokes, My face, my arms, breasts, my nest,
Tighs, and legs, all done, in your colors, your
Laboring inspirations, your Sapphic erotics,
And you bring me a mirror, open my eyes, and
Show me your Goddess.

Posted by Idinraha at 03:36 PM | Comments (0)

flowing

Posted by Idinraha at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)

I con not recognise myself, when I am not naked

Well, one of the things my Mother in-law liked about me, long time ago, was the fact that I pee sitting down (my mother was very strict about manners), she also liked, that I ate my breakfast in little morsels. I guess those criteria halped her make up her mind about me, and trusting her Marjan to me. They are very close, Marjan and Akram, like two friends, calling each other all the time, and she lives five minutes from us. She has been also a blessing in my life, her simple way of loving ,her commitment to people she loves, and all she gives to all of us is beyound expectations. She has also become My son,s favorite relative, he sleeps over her house once a week, in her bed, holding on to her, she is a solid rock of stability in his and our lives. I love her much. Well boys and girls, Cyrus, did the first Rant, and as usuall, he created another mystery. anyone did the puzzle. I hope he writes more for us, since his wrting is clean and skillfull. Take another layer off please,MRBLE MAN. since most of you tell me you do not know what to write about in your rant, I desided to give you a title, to use if you want: I CAN NOT RECOGNISE MYSELF WHEN I AM NOT NAKED, how about that. Actually thats the first sentence I wrote in my creative writing class, when I was nineteen, for my 26 years old teacher, Miss Walsh, a beatiful blonde, catholic girl, that became my lover afterward, and took me to the movie, THE AMERICAN GIGOLO, on our first date, and an embarassing seduction scene, afterward. Any way. so if you can not come up with any ideas, try mine. METAL is back, she has left us comments, and yes please send me the picture of the STARS KISSING, I will post it, and if any one of you has a picture, I will be delighted to post them. Metal has also written a new poem, that,s erotic and moving about Kissing and more, Metal, we did not think you had it in you, let me post it here, it will add to your followers. Thanks again Cyrus, it was brave of you, FEREYDOON has left us a comment on CELECTIAL ghosts. I hope he writes us a rant also. I wrote a piece yesterday meself, GODDESS.....YOUR SAPPHIC EROTICS,( I can see Fereydoon and Cyrus salivating) and posted it on POETS.COM, it has gotten a good review from METAL, and hopefully I will post it soon. MARYAM, loves the picture MAJESTIC, and left us a few comments, thanks sis, and thanks for your guidance at the dinner table sunday night.I wrote a rant a few days ago -ALLOWANCE, which I liked a lot myself , but to my disappointment, it did not get any comments, READ IT PLEASE, and let me know. I like you to also tell me about the pictures we post, How do you like them, believe me it take me a few hours before I find one to post here, so let me know,......................

Posted by Idinraha at 10:49 AM | Comments (2)

February 16, 2005

thanks CYRUS.........................a fantasy

For this you have to go on CYCHO.net, find a good picture of Cyrus, My favorite is the one from long long time ago, he looks serious and stern. then you should also know how he walks, and carries himself, and the little smirks on his face that points out the mischeif he has in mind. Cyrus is very animated, he carries his body, remember the movie STARMAN, that comes close. and now imagin, him on a stage of a GOGO bar, half naked, make up on, and as the music plays he trys to schimme down the stage, girating his hipps, getting down, on his back with his legs up, and the crowd of female viewers going wild, asking him to take it off, while he looks at them with his eyes coy, and lustful, he find a chair, puts on leg up and little by little, he rolls down the hoisery, of his creamy skin. takes it off and throughs it in the crwod, turns arround and leaves the stage, as the crowd of onlookers, bang on the tables and ask for more. come on Cyrus give us more, just a little bit more, I know You are not used to this, but it will get easier. and you should know one of these days, Fereydoon and I will show up in dragg, at your house, and get you to wear a low cut red number and then three of us go out to paint the town

Posted by Idinraha at 04:48 PM | Comments (0)

The thirsty sponge

If I was a Carpenter, well about two years ago, for a while I had such an urge, to get me tool boxes, pieces of woods, and plenty of time, some solitude, and create. You know the best part of creation, is the solitude of it, the focus. and how the creator and the creation become seamless. I wish I could sculp, I think I could sculp, I know I can paint and draw, but finding the sculpture within the stone, The intimacy of touching, and recovering the beloved, oh,... There is so much to do, and so little time, so much to know, aspire for, to learn, I feel like a very thirsty sponge. There is such a need in me for discovery, for knowing, to see, to hear, to touch , ah, and to love. for love comes of knowing and discovery. I dont know where the tides will take us, and where the Captain dare, I dont know of alltitudes, and stars, but I know we will, get there, All this yearning, all this desire, all this wanting, will we find the way. I am caged, within this skin, these bones, and these eyes,and as blessed and greatfull I am, there is a constant yearning. There always have been and always will be. so I will look further, i will listen, I will walk naked in the rain, I say hello to strangers, and smile kindly, i will ask them their name, and maybe if the music allows I will ask them for a dance. I will hold other hands, and kiss other lipps, no containment, no boundries. I have never fit within me, and I never will. its too limiting, and I am so greedy, so, so greedy

Posted by Idinraha at 04:25 PM | Comments (1)

Celestial ghosts

Posted by Idinraha at 12:14 PM | Comments (1)

Celectial Ghosts

There is a great possibility, that effects of impact of commets with Earth, has led to interaction between, Oxygen, and Hydroge, leading to creation of water..................WATER, the source of nature, and nurture, and the pool of creation. I was watching NOVA, last night, and the subjet was Commets, how they are created, how they orbit, the sun and planets and how they reach us, every feww million years, Gas and Dust,hurling toward us , with the mission of Creation. And then, there is the necassity og GOD, and the school of creationism. A beginning, and an end, only the way a human can think of life. But is GOD, the creature of our logic, or emotions, a creature of need or science. Does God exist without human, or Human without GOD. Why our Holly books, are so vague about the nature of GOd, telling us his existance is beyound our immagination, so we should accept, not question. I do come from a religious background, and have enjoyed the spiritual notions of it, the simple pure, nessacity of it. I have never allowed it to restrict my curiosity. and has celebrated it for its core. However the rampage of Islamism now, as it was with Catholism, or any fanatism, and the hold it has on ignorant masses does scare me. I look at religion as a persoal necassity, not communal. When Kiana asked me, why do you pray, and Mommy does not, I told her, " praying comes from the need to closeness,and being in contact, and leaning on an entity larger than us. I need to pray, but Mommy does not. that simple". As I am getting older, and science has become more of a hobby to my curiosity, however, the dillema worsens. So I do pray, I stand in a seclusion and pray. for the satisfaction, and maybe the need of it. For I know I am blessed, and I have the need to thank GOD for it, for as long as I am good, God would be with me, GUIDE me, and help me. For THE ESSENCE of God in my life, has helped me to be who I am, to be kinder, to be loving, to be a good mate, a good father, a good friend. and I am aware of this allowance and greatfull for it. Let the science go where it may, I will be curios, but I need God in my life, and the Celectial Ghost will always inspire my imagination.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:41 AM | Comments (3)

February 15, 2005

Puzzled........ (cycho's rant)

(clearing throat)... I was a bit puzzled when I was asked to do a "guest rant" on Idinraha - Heaven knows there is plenty of rants in this prolific site. Besides, I normally do mine elsewhere. Cycho needs to be redundant only once.

Do I write something creative? Let's see... I barely read poetry, much less write anything that could hold a candle to the expressive ruminations on these pages - so scratch the creative writing bit.

Instead, I will share something of myself with you, something none of you know, and try to do it in an entertaining fashion - more of a visual experience, if you will.

Entertaining? OK, maybe that's a bit presumptuous if not misleading - let's just say I'm just plain going to make you work for it!

In the end, you may be amused, aggravated, or bewildered for having spent so much time to come to a point - not to say that there is one. But if you seek the truth, or just have some time to kill, you will only have the final answer if you work through it*. And I may yet live up to the cycho moniker!

If you want to leave a comment, please try not to spoil it for others. (Let them feel your pain!) I'll take your "it's stupid", or "I want my money back" as an affirmation of your success and that will be just fine! Anyway, I will know if you've made it - I have my ways (insert cycho laughter)!

Finish the puzzle and you'll be led to the answer! Begin...

*In case you think you can cheat by looking at my website - DON'T BOTHER - you won't even find it there (not for a few weeks anyway)!

Posted by cycho at 07:13 PM | Comments (4)

Donae....................................................by KLIMT

Posted by Idinraha at 04:59 PM | Comments (1)

After the lovin

well, Valentines day, commercial, yes it is, gifts were sold,chocolates Galore, heart shaped, but if only one of us felt the magic again, it is worth it. I got the most beautiful card from MARJAN, it moved me, in its sincierity, and simplicity, so I posted it here, send me a sample of the cards you got. Well, we have two new pictures displaying different kind of sceneries, the kind I enjoy the most and I am sure you like them too. It took me, half a day to find them, I wanted something tasetfull, and elegants , showcasing the beauty of human form, at its best. so leave me messages and tell me, how you like them. I posted -IN THE GLOAMING- yesterday, the new piece by MEATL, the piece is so moving , so I wrote a comment for it. Cyrus tells me, our new friend FATHER HOMER BENT, is not who we think he is, and, somebody is pulling our leg. Its okay, we love to have him, and we all could use a bit of stretch, YOU ARE WELLCOMED, who ever you are FATHER HOMER BENT. I also posted, VIRGINIA, and SANDSTORM, they are both beautiful. MARYAM, my sister, loved sandstorm, and left a comment asking how come I am so delicate and she is so rough. Well sister I dare a bit more, but if you wanna know, one of these nights after your hobby and kids, are sleeping, get outside your house, take all your cloth off and run to the end of your street and walk back. Or get naked, get in your car, put the funkiest song you like, and drive to route 25, and back. Then you will know how exciting it is to be in exhibition, warts and all. Fereydoon, has left us a link, for LABOHEM, a song by CHARLES AZNAVOUR, he is an Armanian french singer and his love ballads are out of this world, so look it up and enjoy. Thanks Ferry, my LOVE MONGER. I will try to catch up with METAL, see if she will write us a GUEST RANT. I am missing her here, and hopefully she will be back with goodies. I will try to post some new poems today, and rmember LIFE IS GOOD.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:58 AM | Comments (1)

Valentine card...........................from Marjan

I love that you married me,
Knowing that
It wouldn't be simple
That living with me
Was unlikely
To be a walk in the park

I love it that out of all
The thousands of ways
It could have turned out,
My life turned to you

And now, everything marriage
Has brought us--
The good times and hard times,
All the fun and struggle and change--
This sweet
Complicated togetherness of ours....
I love it. I love you.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:42 AM | Comments (3)

February 14, 2005

SAND STORM................................(the urgency of love)

Remember the sand storm
the majestic havoc that veiled
Covering the air, against
The sky's amber and red, the golden hues
That became brown dusts and fell

Love comes so unpredictable,
No, no , it does not come, it hurls
Clear as crystals allowing the light
It does not knock, it breaks in, plunges
And falls in a muffled hush, and then
The days get brighter crisp, colors bloom
in contrasts, in sleek hues,
And how I did not expect you,
Not here, not now,

Remember the sand storm,
Where the skys were red,
bleeding in orange, and amber,
Then the thin layers of brown and gold,
AS the satrs were erased and fell, and
The sky was lost, like flights of locusts
Remember the first time, you knew,
That you loved me, with your hand
On my shoulder, your arm severed
my head, my face , held against
The aprehension of the sky,
As you stood, needy and lost,
wearing your loneliness, and
Your dry lepperous stare

And remember how I wanted you,
the totality of you, , to carry you
In me, in my pockets, like a secret
That only I knew, a treasure I could
bring out alone, in images, in words,
and read, recite, and play

Remember the cave we found,
The shelter, keeping us away,
and how you set a fire, read me to sleep
and how I slid next to you, feverish as I was
Cold, how I needed you, and loved you, that
It had cracked my bones, pulled my fleah, and
Burned my skin, and blew me to pieces, that
dusted the air- the knowing that I love you,
Here, and now, remember the sand, the storm.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:18 PM | Comments (1)

Virginia

Virginia
Stepped in the water,
like stepping into the Ball,
All dresseup, all aprehension,
She will soon hear the music
And her dance card will be filled
By young gents wanting to know of
the delicacy of her condition, as they
twirl and turn, makin impressions,
Their hair sleeked back, their moustashes
Oiled, anxiously tormented by her presence,
Her cold Blue eyes, and the silence she wore
Like beads around her neck, her hands

Oh Virginia
Your ghosts are still here
Walking the hallways, their voices
like nails against the window glasses
shatter the proper sensibilities of living
The constant yearning that enveloped your days,
The anticipation of a reality deformed, debased
And tilted, in all hours of waking, this severe
Sense of belonging to everything that's not here,
every thing that prances on fringes of maddness,
Your disshelfed brohaha, your silence

And the answer, deep within the cold surrender
Of the lake, as the water reached up, accepting
You, like a lulaby, promise of a sleep, now reachable
At hand, another step, as your feet left the earthly
Bottom, the plunge, the release, filling you fluid and calm,
The helpless happiness that drowned you, as fears left, voices
The angst of blending and the mediocraty of living, then came
The peace, the quiet deliverence, floating weightless

Posted by Idinraha at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

In the gloaming..................by METALNYMPH

-Claim me-
When the day is spent
Exhusted on fumes of lust
And skies swell to sapphires
settling on eyes as dust
A window of a soul
Tortured by twilight's warm
embrace
laid open, bleeding on flames
Spilling forth to give a taste

-Shape me-
As I fall into your arms
All silky as water flows
You flush my skin in shades of
Peach
As covetous desire grows
Calling out your name
A face lost to the haze
I conjure images you paint for me
Artfully set jewels in a maze

-Take me-
In the gloaming
When twilight bows to stars
And light has dipped just low enough
To soothe deep running scars
Who lay inside, you kiss them soft
To melt away in streams
Deep pools you fill. brilliant azure
A prelude to my dreams

Posted by Idinraha at 11:17 AM | Comments (1)

surviving the weekend, witha wink and a smile

Its all quiet on the western front. Life goes on, the weekend was rough on me, lots of fun, but I live a quiet life, and enjoy the every dayness of my every days. I was up last night untill three am, WOLFE HOURS. and this morning got up with a headache, so no excercise, just straight to work. Business has slowed down and it is effecting my mood. But I have been up and down more than a two dallar hooker, but I will land on my back soon. Mehrnush, another pretty women (god knows I can not get enough of pretty women), is our new discovery on the site, she left a comment on DRIVING IN AUTUMN, beautifully written ,I am greatfull. FEREYDOON, is feeling maternal, and left a comment on TRACING THE SLOPE. he also has commented about my requirement of no political rants here(lets leave the carcusses to the heynas). He writes political essays, which I have read a few of. and telling us how politics is a big part of his every day life. Fine if thats what it takes to get you write a RANT here, GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY. But generally I see politics out of the patience of theses pages. It is a bit grown up for me, although I am famous for my political views amongst my friens, and have ruffled a few fedders meself. I did not have enough time yesterday to post IN THE GLOAMING, but I shall do that today. METAL, has written another little gem, and posted it on POETS.COM, you go girl. I wrote a very pretty love letter, meself, SAND STORM, and posted it on POETS.COM, I also found a new comment on CYCHO.NET, from ARMAN, he is CYRUS'S brother, at least thats what their mother says, as their father shrugs. He is a magical bundle of energy with a fabolous smile, big as an OX. famous for his out of line jokes and SEXUALL APETITE, amongst his friends. he has promissed to visit soon, and leave comments. once he does that we definitely will feel his presence here I have missed him, and he surprised me plenty by mentioning a poem I wrtoe, thirty years ago, can you believe this my commrades, we are talking three decades. Cyrus, my main mancrush, could not take his head off the pillow this morning, because of all the love he is getting over here, that will help his body porportion, since his head is the smallest part of his body. We also have a new comment from someone I do not know, FATHER HOMER BENT, it seems the lack of morality on these pages has hurt his sensebilities, we wellcome him, and ask him, to log again and again, and be the moral authority here. athough, they need him more in Catholic churches today. But as you know Cathlic priests know a lot about the signs of homosexuality, and since that is the subject of his comment we wellcome him with a wink and a smile. I saw my sister Maryam at my MOm's house last night, and it was reffreshing to see that she had read almost all of theses pages, thanks sis, I know with raising two kids, you need some grown up dialougues at the end of your days(she visits every night). so here we go again, .....................

Posted by Idinraha at 09:31 AM | Comments (1)

February 13, 2005

Norway sunset.....................................a gift from Metal

Norway is METAL's ancestoral land, and such a treat

Posted by Idinraha at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)

Over here, we are over here, serving love in MB

Saturdaynight, Marjan, more beautifull than ever, my movie star, elegant, and fun, we had dinner at PATOUGH, and then went to see DARIUS, I do not get out much , so this was a treat. Finding our past, in his voice, and songs, the life we had lived, and left. I had tears, many of us did. His voice was reaching as ever, 3am, no place like home, my bed, The house seems empty without Amin, and Kiana, but too tired to think about it, fell sleep while patches of sights I had that evening passed by to dreams. I am still amazed by CYRUS, and what he did yesterday, posting HIS POEM ON HIS SITE. definitely showing certain growth about him, certain freedom that I did not think he was capable of recognizing. And in addition he has accepted to write a RANT for us, I can not wait.THE MARBLE MAN, is showing his very human side. it would be a treat. METAL has not send me her RANT yet, but I am confident she will, and let me take this appourtunity to ask, FEREYDOON, and MARYAM, probably two of the smartest people I know, for a GUEST RANT, nothing political, just HUMAN, sights and vision, how they see the world. It would be such pleasure. I think Cyrus is excersizing more these days, to fit into the YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI, i will be sending him. and one more things, send me your adresses, all of you, I like to send each one of you a gift, from me, the nature and size, of the gift will depends on, how do I know you, and what I want you to have from me. You see I am trying so hard to promote the site, I even give Free Bees. got two comments from the Marble man, and one from the man in the mirror, thanks for your DRIPPINGS, not DROPPINGS, but DRIPPINGS. I am tired, not getting enough sleep last night, and tonight we are going to my MOM'S house for family dinner , it should be fun, I sent an invitation to MEHRNOOSH, another very pretty girl, who does love me, as she said, she is such an innocent soul, and beautiful inside and out. she has sent an email, telling me she will visit soon, and she will leave comments. Have not had a comment from my sis, MARYAM, in a while, hopefully she is still logging in. MEATL has given me permission to post IN THE GLOAMING, one of her best poems here. she is consistantly beautifull and loyal, thanks, me love, METAL. very soon the spring will be here, NOOROOZ, our new years eve, and the scents of spring, and reactivations of HORMONES. It should be fun. incidently if you know anyone, who might enjoy this pages, please invite them over, or send me their email, so I invite them formally, I love you all......................................

Posted by Idinraha at 11:43 AM | Comments (1)

February 12, 2005

oh, MARBEL MAN of mine

I cry easy, its a family thing, my wife knows, so do my kids, and of course my mother, and my ciblings. I remember Marjan told me Javad, better have some tissiues at your brothers wedding, that is Mohamad, my older brother, I protested why, and she said; "Well once he comes in with his bride, you are going to cry, you know you will", I said no, no way. And she was right as she always is, My brother walked in, hand in hand with his bride, and I looked at him, and then looked at the expression on my mother's face, and we both cried. that was fifteen years ago. Today, I checked CYCHO.net, Cyrus's site, and to my surprise and delight, I saw his latest posting, titled, A POEM ABOUT ME, and once I clicked, there was the begining of THE GHOUL AND THE MERMAID'S first few lines, and then direction for any body to catch the rest of it here. I cried, tears coming, sitting in my office, fully dressed up and crying. CYRUS is such a private man, such a quiet gracefull man, very proper, and fine. and when I wanted to dedicate the poem to him and post it here, I asked him for his permission, and got myself ready, if he said no, to dedicate it without mentioning his name. But he said YES, and made me happy, but now by posting it on his site, and giving it recognition, in a way legitimising it. what can I tell you, I guess I do not know him, as well as I thought I would, so I left him a message on his site, and at the end it finished by; YOU HAD ME AT HELLO, but now you go and do this, and more than ever, I am charmed, begotten and amazed by you. thank you MARBEL MAN,.......

Posted by Idinraha at 03:12 PM | Comments (4)

Saturday corals

Well, METAL, has accepted to write us a RANT, It would be so interesting for this new door to open, and we may get more GUEST RANTS, thanks for your generosity METAL, YOU ROCK. I have asked the MARBEL MAN for wrting a guest rant also, and will ask FEREYDOON, and AMELIE too. VIRGINIA, my new piece, has gotten great reviews on POETS.COM, AND i probably will post it here soon. Metal has given me lots of encouregment about what we do here, and believe me, I do need that a lot. Cyrus is finishing up, my business site, and it looks great. He probably thinks the sooner he does it, the sooner he will get me out of his hair, Hmmmmm, no chance, although I have been good , trying not to take as much of his time as possible, keeping my distance. I am also trying to find other ways to get my readers here involved, by maybe questioneers. As I said last week, by Monday morning, I would tally the comments for last week, and who ever has made the most will get a hand written original copy, of his/her favorite poem, signed by me. (please try to show excitement, and make me feel important), I know you can not wait to see who the winner is. there is more traffic on the site than it seems. There are people who visit and dont leave comments, who ever they are, we can trace them, and ask them politely, to please, be generous and leave comments. you know who you are, and you are wellcomed to our spread................

Posted by Idinraha at 12:09 PM | Comments (0)

Majestic

Posted by Idinraha at 09:58 AM | Comments (1)

February 11, 2005

on the ropes

Friday, and the promise of the weekend, to put your legs up, let your hair down, relax, and enjoy the things you dont do ......well, tommorow night we are going to a concert, DARIUS, is in town, and my in laws are treating us to dinner in manhattan, and then the concert, it should be fun, having Marjan all to myself, holding hands, and being a couple again. I get to dress up, she will look lovely and the compony is good. I am spending so much time here, that I have not written any poems, well I am sure something is brewing in me, and sooner or later, in its time, it will come, but there is always that nagging notions, what if I could never write another one.......eh, that will be allright too. Mik Jagger has a song" God has given me everything I want, but I want more", well, I do feel blessed, the only thing missing was this pages, and thanks to MARBEL MAN, I have this too, like cherry on top. I got a beautifu email, from my son this morning, Robb gave me a hug in the gym, and Anthony, my beloved Anthony is back at work, so Marjan asked me last night, what do I want for Valentines Day, and I answered, HOT SEX, she looked at me, and said, You would not be able to handle it. my jaw dropped, and I told her, that will be a touchy subject as we are getting older, and she is ten years younger than me, and we both laughed. I recieved an email from Cyrus, the business site is almost done, we just need to put up the details. I got four great reviews from Metal, on POETS.COM, and she aslo informed me that the new poem she wrote,IN THE GLOAMING, was inspired by the picture I posted two days ago. Yummmmm, I am thinking of asking her to write a Rant for my site, about anything she wants I hope she accepts. Cyrus left two reviews for AMELIE'S POEMS, praising them, thanks again Marbel man, you rock.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:13 AM | Comments (1)

Fire works

when love finds you...........

Posted by Idinraha at 11:07 AM | Comments (1)

February 10, 2005

A better man

I am a better man today, and the possibility that I will be better tomorrow, makes my heart sing. We have so much, so very much, and the more we realise it, the more we grow. well, Maryam my sister, left us a message, yesterday, thank you, for your confirmation, and lets leave them in their ignorrance, they desereve it. METAL, visited us again, thank you for the inspirations you bring me, when I need them most. She has posted a new piece on POETS.COM, That is ambitious, reaching and masterfull. I adore the poem and I will ask her permision, so I can treat you to theses heavenly morsels she brings to this spread. Last night I was thinking, would I really need to be so bare naked in these pages, would I like to limit who can reach us here, would I , I know Cyrus is thinking, Auh oh, but then I thought, I have no shame in me and I do know who I am, these trips I take, is allowed by the trust and confidence I have in knowing that I could always go back home, to my Marjan and the safety of her and my children, so I will go on, greatefull as I am to her, for allowing me my space, every day of our lives together. and who ever that visits if they are our keen, if they have the generosity of spirit, and the seeing eye, they are wellcome, and if they dont, we know how to shut these doors to them. thanks to the posibilities of technology, and the skills of my MARBEL MAN, who has become, the gaurdian of me, and this site. so we will go on....... Liisa has sent me a poem, by Blake, I do not think the copy right laws would allow me to post it here, but I will ask my Guardian, and let you know, so here we go

Posted by Idinraha at 11:08 AM | Comments (1)

Allowance

Allowance of a life lived, days to bee seen sunrise and sunsets, feeling the breeaze on the bare skin, at majestic hours of a dawn,and the warmth of rays of the sun, as it embraces our frame. allowance of living, feeling, finding yourself in the beloved eyes, showering in her/his stares, bathing in the love it brings. allowance of taste, touch, sight, all we can treasure, in this life, now, as fleeting as it is, cherishing, every second, allowance of love, oh, how have we become so privilaged to deserve love, in all its forms, in all its shapes, and flights, allowance of desire, kisses and embraces,a hug, a hug. allowance of passion,the fluid severity of wanting, holding and having, to reach climax, body and soul, and to come, as physically possible, flowing, the essence, of our molucullar existance, to be inside a woman, copulated, held, completing the circle, allowance of being a man, a woman, desired, loved, taken, allowance of submission, when love comes to stay, allowance of nurturing, learning and teaching, observation of a new life trusted to you, the exitement, the fears, the longing, and finding love, again, in a different dimensions, the capasity to learn of it, to want it, raising children, the allowance of creation, and recognition, the flight of fancy, and knowing, learning, colors, words, ability to reach and extend, only if we realise how priviliged we are..............................

Posted by Idinraha at 10:31 AM | Comments (1)

Crossing

let us dare, let us ask, and we may.........

Posted by Idinraha at 10:28 AM | Comments (1)

February 09, 2005

At the days end

wow, did a lot today, some business, so I can be regarded as a responsible adult, and keep my wife in Jewels and Caviar, hehe, and lots of writing and posting, I think when Cyrus built this for me he never thought that I go at it this feverishly. We have almost one hundred pieces posted. and I am abetter person because of this and I have managed to open channels to different souls, and even one thanked for it. well , its the end of the day, I got to dropp my dad at his house, and go pick up Kiana, posted two pieces by AMELIE, our new friend here, she is of French descent , but have lived here most of her life. so wellcome to this spread, from poetry, to Goat cheese, and salad recipe, a bit of every thing, body and soul......

Posted by Idinraha at 05:50 PM | Comments (0)

How do I love thee........................by Amelie

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways
But I can not think
I do not remember
I like to be alone

MY love
You are whole, and free
I am not, I need you to love me
I need to be alone,
I need you to love me a lot,
I think I love you

I dont trust you
To love me, but
I trust you with my life
As I am trying to grow up
I need to be a woman,
Trusted and respected, grown,
A mother wife thing, nothing special
Just a good woman
But I am still
A girl-thing

but when I am grown
I will tell you
How I love thee,
With my heart, my mind,
and so much better
With my body

But my body now,
Is a suspicious mengy
long limbed ugly thing
Waiting to be tricked,
Exposed
And analyzed,

And I will bite
If you take my pyjamas,
Leave my wooly bunny alone,
Leave me to my nightmares
My nightsweats, and
My Wolfe hours

Posted by Idinraha at 05:33 PM | Comments (1)

MY BOy,.......................by Amelie

Bits of lightness
Of the moon,
On your forehead,
The blood of a hot play
And imaginings, on your cheeks

Your scalp my baby,
Sweetly sticky
Fragrant with young sweat
Serious and proud
Demanding eyes,
Odly free

-My eyes
As they could have been
Had I been safe, and loved
For just being me,
Alive, growing up

Posted by Idinraha at 05:24 PM | Comments (1)

Sweet potatoes , cranberries and raisins..

Marjan makes me this dish once a week, she gets some fresh Garlic, two chicken drums, and let them cook in the oven, then she adds sweet potatoe, cranberries and raisin on top of it, and let them bake,there should be 2/3 sweet potatoes, cranberris, and rasins, and 1/3 chicken. After it bakes for a while so the rasins get almost black and cranberries dark red, she brings it out and serves it. the taste of the sweet potatoes with soft cranberries and crunchy rasins is almost heavenly. sometimes she adds walnut to the mix also, which makes it a very hearty meal. I recomend it highly, and I better go get some launch before I write another rant about food, gulp

Posted by Idinraha at 03:27 PM | Comments (1)

Goat cheese

I love goat cheese, just by itself, or with a little cracker, or like what we used to do with my friend MEHDI, Goat cheese, with cucumber sliced, and bread,and some iced vodka on the side, and Yummmmmmmmmy. I love simple foods, Give me bread, fresh hot bread, with cheese, and sweet tea, I could live on that. or big meaty Dates with hot bread. Bread, tomatoes, freash basil amd motzerela cheese. incidently Motzerela cheese is the sexiest food one could eat, just put a piece of it in you mouth, and let it soak, feeling the soft, smooth surface of the cheese against your tongue or the top of your mouth, hmmm, it could get messy........any way, back to cheese, oh and I also like CHEETOS,cheese puffs, the snak, and they have come up with new ones, with no trans fatty parts in it, just sit down have a big bag, and munch on it, and if you also have a bag of chocolate malt pops, and throw in one or two between every three or four cheetos, ah, its delicious, but you could also feel your arteries cloggin up. well middle aged men like me, find a new afinity for food, or munchies. They asked Raymond Burr(the guy who played perry mason), what is happiness to him, and he replied, I dont know about happiness, but a big plate of fine foods can always make me happy. but try Goat cheese, its the best kinda cheese, aqnd its even good for you. (this message was aponsered by Goat cheese assosiation of America)

Posted by Idinraha at 02:57 PM | Comments (2)

Driving in Autumn

These days,
I feel more aware,
Driving by Autumn trees,
It's not my age, I shrug,
Or does it matter, but the joy
Of watching Autumn trees go by,
The Yellows, brown ambers, oranges,
and the fading greens, bring such
An urge in me, to paint them on paper,
The textures of a fledging life
As it shines against the sky gray

It will be colder soon,
And I will enjoy the feel of my sweaters
Against my body, as I sink within their warmth
Raising my colors, or buttoning my coat,
Fall can be so coy, so private,
The woolen socks, hats, and oh, long scarfs
Making me feel snuggled, warm and safe

I wear my beard fuller these days
Black and gray thick whiskeres
Covering my face, like a blanket
This serenity that has taken me over,
Stillness of sort, no fleeting emotions,
But a certain comfort, not foggy or benevelont,
But delibrate, and clear, standing up within me,
filling me, pores and cavities, bones skull,
Like a return, or accepting of sort,
It has opened me , and walked in, claiming me all.

Posted by Idinraha at 02:12 PM | Comments (2)

The Bitch, the cunt

Feeling etheral, misty, weightless,
Not defined, or bounded by my bones
Or skin, moving beyound, as electic
Bolts, run in fusion, under my skin,
And thousands of mermaids sing a hymn
Above the chorous of harps, fluid, moving
Notes, carrying on still waves, tides soft
Whimpering quiet, on gentle breezes

I am all glass, with silhuettes of lights
All fragile, breakable, brusing by a touch
Exposed, in exhibition, spread, displayed
As I crawl on, skinless, with lights burning
My flesh, in blue brown spots, Yet I go on,
on my knees, standing up, my hands reaching,
My arms in flight, taking the layers off, one by one

And this is where I live,
Where I come alive, of my choosing,
This is where I reach, I cut, blossom,
And bleed, as my heart quickens in rhythms and hymns,
In glare of lights, and the voices, calling me
-The bitch, the cunt- , but I know I reach them
Through the irrises of their eyes, my scent, my filth,
As I pressure the hook, cut the membranes, and larva in
Their psyche, painless and numb

And I spike their blood with Purple potions,
Mercury and metal, grounded in horns of beasts
And fangs of bloated bats, oosing in blood,
So, they are taken by the bitch, the cunt

Posted by Idinraha at 01:49 PM | Comments (0)

Sleeping with Amin, and Kiana

Walking upstairs,
He pushes me gently,
While she hangs on my side,
"tell us a scary tale tonight",
Says Kiana, while Amin yells, HAHAHA

I lay in the middle,
With my arms open,
They wash their teeth,
Joining me afterward,
He smells like hickory, raw
She smells soap fresh,
She kisses my hand and falls in me,
I hold them both, on either side,
Scarching his arm,while I stroke her hair

We play hide and seek,
With our eyes closed,
as they fidgid and turn,
Trying to best each other,
"are you down stairs"
"are you behind the couch"
"are you in the closet",
We laugh, play words,
Talk, and whisper, three of us
As the night passes behind the window

He turns toward me, burrying his face in my chest,
Bringing his legs over mine, leaning, he snuggles,
She pushes her back on my side, while her feet touch my legs,
Gently pushing her lips on my arm, and I think, this is where
I belong, My alter, my prayers, my riches, and my find
"I love you so much ", I whisper
Holding them ever closer, as sleep comes

Posted by Idinraha at 01:26 PM | Comments (0)

Tracing the slope

She walks carefully
As if she is bringing water
From the well,
And a missed footing
Would cause a spill

Her breasts,
Heaving, hanging
She walks with her
Hand holding her belly

We talk,
Respinning the web,
I sleep closer to her,
She holds the wonder
And so generous,
She holds me too,
And we sleep better

The house
Is our coccon,
Holding us in haze of comfort
She stands in the mirror, naked
Tracing the slope of her body,
As I check the windows for a draft
And lock the doors,
And we wait

Posted by Idinraha at 01:15 PM | Comments (2)

Purpule muse

Anthony, MY BOY BLUE, one of the dearest souls I know, is going through tough times, and I can not help him, I just call him, tell him to hold on, and that I am here, if he needs me................ I feel so skin less today, so visible, and fragile,...... its a quiet morning, its cold, and we are expecting more snow, the road is extended, and days go as they do, I watched HOUSE md, last night, I was half sleep watching it. The show is so intteligent, and I see it getting more inside the head of its characters, its getting to be more poignant and tender, reflecting how we bring so much of ourselves to what we do. Yesterday, I had a thought that maybe we should have RANTS GUEST, maybe one of you out there, would be brave enough, crazy enough and confident enough to send me a rant , about anything, we have no boundries here, and I need to get you more involved in what we do. so I will wait to hear from you. Yesterday I posted SOUL SUPRESSION, by my friend METALNYMPH, its a tender piece, which makes allowance of our loneliness, and how we remedy that, by expressions. Cyrus left a comment , praising it, specially the last stanza. It is so good, to see him get envolved, in the expressions of this site. Talked to LIISA, twisted her hand and got her to get over her phobia of Internet, and she visited the site, guided by me, 6000 miles away. I also have a new friend that will be visiting often, she is very private, I will post some of her poetry, her name is AMILIE. we also had comments from, METAL, and FEREYDOON, INCIDENTLY IF YOU CAME ACROSS A PICTURE YOU LIKE TO BE POSTED SEND THEM TO ME, YOU COULD ALSO, email me at the sites adress: Idinraha@Idinraha.com. thanks MARBEL MAN, for all you do for me, so now time to hit the gym, and sweat.......happy trails

Posted by Idinraha at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)

Fluid

So beautiful, so cold, and lonely, we add so much to the scenery by
our existance, lets walk through.........

Posted by Idinraha at 07:57 AM | Comments (0)

February 08, 2005

Cutting my breast

He looks so clean, so young, With his skin shining white, His eyes fierce and cold, his hands with long fingers, shaped like a knife, And his teeth bright all standing right for The indifference of his smile, he talks with His eyes looking out, announcing the latest discoveries, The urgency of the operation, and the potency of this disease, " We have to remove", he says, "we have to excise, and take away The skin, the flesh, the lymph nodes", like pieces of left overs after dinner, and in my mind I try to picture, if I can stand balanced with One breast, He will be carefull, not to cut beyound what he should, And I think, if I could be as confident knowing where to stop, Again he say, " pulling the remainder of skin over a sillicone sack, We could reconstruct, and give you even a new nipple", a new nipple, Better than what I had, he warns, there would be bleeding, tubes in My chest, puss, infections,(in rare cases, he assures), and then I Get COMFIES, like stuffing tissues in my bra, so I would look normal, I can get therapy, see a shrink, and talk to women like me,in a group, LOPPSIDED LEPPERS,walking unballanced, hunched like me,and every two Of us together would be complete. And I think, I should tear my Blouse, in the middle of 42nd street, and show me whole, show me Untouched, unbutchered, all in one piece, and let every men to come Afront, touch them, tease them, tongue my nipples, and teeth them, One last time, for the sake of all I remember of them together, Nipples high, standing proud, MY BREASTS, together mine

Posted by Idinraha at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)

Soul Suppression.............by METALNYMPH

Pinpoint the moment of explosion
Rapid heartbeat a prelude
To the rushing of blood
Alive in my ears,
veines aching with the need
To be lost in skin

-I feel the ache-

Sinking into this desperation
Now drowned in water
By my right hand
The explosion floods over
Spilling down twisted features
Swelling violent white inside

-I feel the ache-

Clawing as this progresses
Sharp aims reduce the edge
I play-act in my mind
Away from crouched knees
Pavement acts as structure
I could sit here all night

-I feel the ache-

Wondering at this moment
Miles away the TV drones
An unreachable silhouette is one,
Two, three, four , five steps away
Clutch my sword a little tighter
Not the time to give in

-I feel the ache-

Admissions of guilt
Bowing down before
rare utterance begin a surrender
I pocket iced teardrops
Who become my weapons
Because who survives un-armed ?

Posted by Idinraha at 04:05 PM | Comments (1)

Breathless

breathtakingly beautiful, find me that sky, and take me away...........

Posted by Idinraha at 01:03 PM | Comments (2)

tuesday on the rocks,

I found a comment on CYCHO.NET, yesterday, from someone close by blood, remeber we dont choose our relatives, we inherite them. the comment was short, and cutting in its coldness, and indifference, reading it hurt me, and I felt pitty for the one who left it. how devoid of any ambitions of love some are, and how they live the way they do. So, the scorpio that I am, I did leave an answer, no name mentioned, but just a taste of my poison. wether it will be posted or not, I leave that to Cyrus and his sensibilities, since he is far more logical and reasonable, than I am. Cyrus left us two messages yeterday, YOU WELLCOME, and I meant it, is the answer to his first comment, and about the second comment. How the piece YOUR WIFE, is even too much for a CYCHO, well my friend, you live a much more carefull emotional life than me, so you might not come across women, like the one portrayed, but believe me, there is plenty of them out there, who lose themselves in their ambitions to become what ever their husband needs or wants. women have the highest rate of ALCHOHALISM, due to loneliness they feel in their marriages. well, let me go find the sun, and cleanse myself, I need the warmth today........when you live so unprotected as I do, sometimes hurt stays..........but not for long

Posted by Idinraha at 08:26 AM | Comments (3)

February 07, 2005

Guide to your wife

Just posted, YOUR WIFE, its a difficult piece, difficult to write, difficult to read, and there is lots of profanity, in the piece, but it is needed for the piece, and serves the poem beautifully. I like to know how you see it, so leave me a comment if you can......

Posted by Idinraha at 05:19 PM | Comments (0)

Your wife

My love,
You stare cold,
As your logic cuts
In sharp edges, every word
You disect, reason, and dominate,
As I sit quiet, and take you

Inside my head,
The callous femme,
All hunched, by the door,
Her hair, golden highlights,
Leotard covered limbs, wih callases
Bruised toes, heels, in black circles,
skin thight on her face, pulled, a new nose,
A new chin, sillicone sacks, holding her breasts,
Toned muscles, trained weekly, six hours, built anew,
The woman you wanted, stretched, made to perfection,
And yet, you imply as polite as you are, that somthing is missing

After all these years, all the skins I shed, to feed your boredom,
-Your whore, not a wife, for the necassity of your agression, laid,
Spread, coke mouthed, doggy style, from the side,swallowing your cum,
At your command, poses, jests, on my knees, on all fours, submitted
To every form, your whore, fucked, fucked, and yet fucked again, in
Every pores, and orifices, hard, so she does not even remember,
Where She was left, how she got here, finding indifferences,
In mirror Less frames, and yet she is here, the greedy femme,
Pacing, tense, Trying to guess, your next move, your
Latest whim, lost, knowing, she is yours,
Yours to claim, yours to hold, or throw away.

Posted by Idinraha at 04:10 PM | Comments (1)

For Cyrus

poor Cyrus, I told him the other day appologizing for my eternal tresspas," you never had a friend like me ", warts and all, anyway, I just posted THE GHOUL AND THE MERMAID, the poem is written for Cyrus, ......... and he said he liked it, he actuaaly talked a lot more about this one, than any other one I have written , and I know, I am very found of the piece, specially the last stanza is so loving , and there is such unconditional effection expressed in it, that take my breath away,.......Cyrus allowed, me, (after I asked for a permission,), to post it and dedicate it to him, thanks my MARBEL MAN, and since you asked, I am the ghoul, and you are the mermaid...............................................

Posted by Idinraha at 03:15 PM | Comments (0)

The Goul, and the Mermaid,..............for Cyrus

You, You stopped me
To a halt,- Me full of
Brouhaha, full of colors, textures,
Dusts of the moon, the reds of Mars,
And the Rays of the sun,
-Me, all flesh, no skin,
Bothered, bewildered, raw,
Tender as a sigh, and wanting as life
And you stopped me, to a halt

-Me , the greedy femme.
All wanting, all desire,
uninhibited like sin,
naked and soft
-And you, all marble,
Metals and stones,
Braided in tins and alloys
All standing, all bones
And daggers, silent, resolute,
Knowing and tall

And my growth,
Weeding on you, my scent,
and filth,my humor, like
A juvenile hyena, aching for a kill
A crown thorned, for your majestic head
A love shredded , by paws, teeth and fangs
The kill, I bring to you, the blood
I draw, nailing my scabs, my wounds
For you, to stain your core,
I mouth you my soul, a kiss
And lick your cold, your surface,
Leaving you ice blossoms

And yet , you don't know,
You, do not know

Posted by Idinraha at 02:22 PM | Comments (1)

Yummm, yummy,

I just found out, Cyrus told me, we could upload pictures here, isn't that FAB, yes it is, I did not know what picture first, It had to fit the mood of the site, had to be compatible, so, I got you where I like to go, any takers............ this would open a whole lots of doors to us. I also got ARMAN,( Cyrus's brother ), email, and i am going to send him an email, we will see what happens. any way I am happy, very happy

Posted by Idinraha at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)

Take me there

Well, what can I say , just take me there..............

Posted by Idinraha at 02:00 PM | Comments (2)

lost keys

well, Fereydoon has lost his keys, and posted a comment, if any one has seen his keys. Clever, Hmmmm, I do not know. I can relate to the problem on many level, I can see it at many level, HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HE IS LOST, SO HE NEEDS HELP. he feels emotionally locked up (ACTUALLY THATS MORE LIKE Cyrus ). He has lost the key to his German car and he does feel better patrotically. or he is just trying to be clever. telling me, that writing these pages is of no use or help to anybody. maybe we should ask him, although he does not say much usually. or maybe we should take it on ourselves to look around, and see if we can find his keyes. incidently, there is a big keyholder, the shape of a bunny's head attached to the keys. I was working out this morning, and sat down for a minute to take a rest. I looked around me, and all I saw was women, in leotards, shorts, T shirts, in different stages of pushing or pulling weight plates, sweatty women, with all different hair colors, and shapes, and to my delight, I found beauty in every one of them. Life giving, life affirming beauty. Little girls grown, married their Prince Charming, settled down, had babies, and lost a lot raising those babies, now trying to catch up, to hold what they have and live. I thought to my self, so many stories they would have. then I smiled, feeling how I belonged there, amongst them, and how all of them know me for one thing or another, maybe my flirtaions, outrageous comments, stories I had told them, walking next to them on the treadmill. It also made me feel good about being me, being able to enjoy my little epiphany, and how I loved being amonst women.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:37 PM | Comments (1)

Monday , monday

well, super ball is over, I did get to drink one beer, Marjan was not feeling good yesterday, so we did not go anywhere ? although both CYRUS, and FEREYDON, had invited us, but we could not go, my appologies, METAL's invitaion came late, and Maryam, did not invite us anyway, so we had a quiet dinner, four of us, I got take outs and AMIN, cleaned up after the dinner, his first time, it was unexpected, but he did. I was so tired, and I am not much of a football enthusiast, so I watched half of it and I looked so out of it, Marjan told me, to go to bed, I did, about 7:30, later on, half sleep I heard Marjan, telling Kiana, and Amin, that they should leave me alone, and let me sleep, but they took over the bedroom, sent their mommy out, and slept next to me all night. Sometime I wonder, if by chance Marjan and I get to connect at some point after my two kids go to college, do we even would know each other. I MISS MY WIFE. THIS WORKING, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, THOUGH i HAVE DONE IT MOST OF MY LIFE, IS ALSO GETTING TO ME, ONCE IN A WHILE. But, its okay, Cant have everything, and if you do, you gott to work hard for it. Can not wait for summer, and a few outings on my Brother in law, AMIR's boat, on the sound. anyway, I am also hoping to somehow, connect with Cyrus and Fereydoon this summer, and get to see them. I left a message for Cyrus on his site CYCHO.NET, TELLING HIM HE SHOULD FORGET ABOUT DONUTS , for a while , so He would fit, into the thiny mini, yellow polka dot Bikini, that I will send him, it would be nice, if I can get them, Cyrus, Mahnaz, Fereydoon, and Liisa to visit at the same time, for a reunion, Although it would be more logical, for me to go down there, since all of them live in California, but I have not gotten any invitation yet. And I dont travel well. Kate Blanchet, in ELIZABET, if you have not seen the movie, get it, its wonderful, for Cyrus specially, I recommend, a little Irish movie, called, FUNNY BONES, its an amazing , very funny little movie, highly recomended. For METAL, try NORAH JONES, first album, also JOSH STONES, debut album. for Maryam, my beloved sister, THE QUIET AMERICAN, is a great movie with MICHEAL CANE. and for FEREYDOON, one of my favorite love movies, MOULINE ROUGE. and SEX AND LUCINDA, is recommended for every one, specially Metal, its passionate and saucy, and PEZ VEGA, looks ravishing in it. Metal has let me, to post SOUL SUSPENSION, here, which I will today. Maryam, is recomending watching HARRY AND MAUDE, and she has left us some nice comments. Now I should go and excersise, so I can keep my girlish figure, for all my MAN CRUSHES, out there. have a nice week every one. and i have decided that this week, who ever leaves, the most comments, in quantity and quality words, will get any of their choice poem, hand written and signed, framed from me,...............who knows, maybe it will worth something down the road, you here hand written and signed,.........it is egotistic of me, but i have been called worse. so.................

Posted by Idinraha at 07:56 AM | Comments (0)

February 06, 2005

Man, I feel like a woman

I know, its a titile song from Shiana Twain, but there is a story behind it. Last night , going home, I had all the windows of the car open, going about 85 mph, and the radio was blasting, first, it was THE BOXER, by Paul Simon, and then, I CAN GET NO SATIDFACTION, by Rolling Stones, I was shaking my heads, screaming, from the top of my lungs, and then, the song came, MAN'S SHIRT,...SHORT SKIRT, AHHHHA HHHA HHA, MAN , I FELL LIKE A WOMAN...............and I started laughing, so hard I almost cried, just thinkin about what I do here, how I write, this gender bending I do, and I was laughing. I guess you shoulda been there. by the time I got to my Mother in law's house, it was, THREE DOORS DOWN, and the song FALLING,....so I collected myself, straightened my tie and jacket, and went inside, with a smile on my face. Saturday nights we get together, at my Mother in law's house, with the rest of the family, they are very nice, decent people, and after eighteen years of exposer to me, they are still trying to figure me out , and get used to me. This morning, Kiana and I, prepeared breakfast, for three of us, since Amin, spends Sarurday nights over her MAMANJOONI'S house, and sleeps next to his grandmother, being loved, has become his favorite pass time. Yesterday, I wrote a new little piece, THE CIRCLE, a bit different than most of other things I have written lately, I think in a way I am trying to find a new style, to say what I say,....so I am hunting for new words, and metaphors, any suggestion?....METAL, pal o mine, has allwoed me to post her latest, SOUL SUSPENSION, which I will do today, thanks again METAL. FEREYDOON, seems to like the poem,MUTED WORM, and left a very comprehensive, long comment about it. He also has sent us a link, for one of LEONARD COHEN'S songs, he is a Canadian, singer, poet, with, a very different style, and his love ballads, are to die for, so check it out. Today, is super ball day, we probably end up at Kameran, my brother in law's house, watching it, its a good apportunity, to have a few beers, and munch on. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 10:14 AM | Comments (3)

February 05, 2005

tearing my skin

I am all electric today, like electirc bolts running under my skin, its like falling in love, all tingles, and fusions, like Bliss on tap, My Kiana, wants me to get Blueberrys, so tomorrow, we cook breakfast together, you dont know how she takes my breath away,............... you have not loved untill you have kids, they teach you how to love, and you become so much better by loving them. Last night they both came to our room, Amin slided under my right arm, and Kiana on the left, and made a Love sandwich out of their daddy. I am so blessed, My poor wife, Marjan, she has given up trying to discipline three of us. I miss her. Not long ago we tried to spend some time together, the kids were watching TV, so we went upstairs, and locked the bedroom door, within minutes Kiana was upstairs, knocking at the door, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING", she asked, Marjan frustrated said, " leave us alone, we are kissing ", and she answered," can I come in and watch". Kiana is her mothers number one competitions. as long as she is concerned, I AM ALL HERS. and I love the attention, she told me when she was five years old, " daddy when I grow up, you should divorce mommy, and marry me ". When I told Marjan about it , she said under breath," that little bitch ". Any way, I finished THE MERMAID AND THE GHOUL, and sent my beloved an Email, asking hom, to check it out. He likes it, and for once, he wrote me more than just one or two words, THANKS, I am charmed. Fereydoon is back, my man in the mirror, got a few comments from Cyrus yesterday left on the site, and METAL, my main inspiration these days, also left a comment, which shows, she is still visiting us, and we are keeping her interested. It is so wonderful, to turn the lap top on, and get in my email, that I have seven comments on the sites, you guys Rock,.....and I love each and every one of you. I also read a beautiful new piece by METAL, it was tender, and alluring, I have to come up with some courage to ask her if I can post it here, I dont mind posting all her poems here, she is such a wonder. Hey Metal if you are reading this dropp me a line, and let others find you again in your words.......

Posted by Idinraha at 09:24 AM | Comments (1)

February 04, 2005

My son at Eleven

I have sang to him
Many times, many seasons,
As days rushed us by, and his feet
Got too big for his hsoes,
We have sang along,
Banging our hands on the dashboard,
With smiles on our faces, bonding
Father and son

Used to hold him
Across my chest, his face
Burried on my shoulder,
His feet dangling to my side,
In dark rooms, hallways,
Moving him lightly, up and down,
As he found sleep, between the scent
Of my shirts, and my body's warmth
"You feel up my senses" , I would sing
Knowing how fleeting the moment,
How precious, my eyes would tear

At eleven,
He stands tall to my chin
I used to be his Christopher Robin,
He was my Pooh Bear, with
Hundred Acres Wood so near,
But , we wrestle these days,
Talk a lot more, tangle our arms,
Pushing each other, pawing his head
Trying to learn different ways
To know of each other
And he still kisses me on my lips
Telling me, He loves me,
Knowing how fleeting the moments would be
How precious, my eyes would tear

Posted by Idinraha at 05:08 PM | Comments (3)

Her Picture

She is anxious, her skin raw,
She feels the blood, tortured red,
Slithering in her , as her heart pumps,
And the scent sours, as she has obsorbed
Tinted metal and mercury, dosed in red
Unchained, corrupts her within, oozing
Eager, wanton,seduced and bothered,
To her center, leaving traces of
damp affection, raw, needy

In her head, a goddess is bared
In all her majesty, left on an alter
Of black cold mosaic, naked, twiching,
Hands bound, feet in chain, her face painted,
In gold and silver, eyes made in black,
Lips crimson red, And then, there comes
The Ghoul, the beast, one eyed, crased,
Horns grown of his head, majestic,
All naked, coarse hair covering his frame,
He finds the goddess, stands in horror,
Of the contrast, that has been made

He holds her legs, caresses the skin,
Leaving his demons on the portrayed,
The touch, the texture, the scent,
The lines that flow and shape, in
Hues, cream peach and pink, the
Subtle curves of the beloved,
Her thighs, her nest, the soft
Flesh of her belly, her bossoms
Delicately drawn, the neck, the face,
The eyes, and her mane, beauty in abundance
So displayed, he stands aghast, tortured,
He turns, flees the stage, the light goes dead

She is anxcious, her skin raw,
In her head, the day is near,
The night spent, the goddess alone
With no one to claim, the beast is gone,
Without a trace, and she waits, she waits...

Posted by Idinraha at 04:44 PM | Comments (1)

Her Picture

I wrote a poem,HER PICTURE, about ten days ago, that was puzzling even to me,but with a bit of cooperation, and dialougue with Metal, our friend, I figured it out, the piece will be dedicated to Metal, why, well, you have to read it and figure it out. there is also, THE HOUR OF WOLFE, which has benn inspired by her. She has been and continiues to be a source of inspiration to me. I also posted another poem by her, -BEAUTY MEANT-, Thanks metal for allowing us to peer into your soul. Yesterday, I wrote a piece, YOUR WIFE, it deals with, modern women, and their strive to become every thing they can to hold on to their man. It is a dark piece, and it took a lot out of me. I am also in process of wrting another one, THE MERMAID AND THE GHOUL, it would be dedicated to another friend, of course I would get permission for that since he is a very private person, and very dear to me. Cyrus left us a message. it is posted, and FEREYDOON is AWOL, for a time being. ...............I have kept my exercise routine, ( been to the gym every day this week) very well this week, dropped four pounds, it will make Marjan happy. Amin came to me this morning, with a project he had done for his school, and proudly showed the A he has gotten for it, which led to a big bear hug from his daddy, and after ward, he told me, that it was time to make the DONUT, and I should leave. I do have a poem for him, MY SON AT ELEVEN, which I will probably post today...........................

Posted by Idinraha at 10:36 AM | Comments (0)

February 03, 2005

Beauty Meant by Metalnymph

Shall I rim eyes with violet,
For my soul to clearly be seen
Or rinse my hair in shades of wine
So beauty truly gleams

Will perfumed skin invite you in
To feast, as if tasting bliss,
Shall i paint my lips with Eastern Star
To embelish an ardent kiss

Will you drink me all
Catch as they fall
Amillion crystalline tears
Or fill my lungs, just like a drug
To numb relentless fears

-Beauty Meant-
This naked canvas just as lovely
as The Fake
Clean virgin skin and loose hair
Beckon.......
As I lay awake

Posted by Idinraha at 02:59 PM | Comments (1)

Idinraha.com

well, Idinraha.com is unleashed or unshackled, as Cyrus puts it. Thanks to him from now on, you could log on Idinraha.com to get to these pages. Thanks Cyrus, you rock, actually you climb rocks, but you are the best, and I am forever greateful. Cyrus is also proving what an artist he is, showing his witcherry, by building me a site for my business, and yesterday he sent me the front page, I was speechless, and that should say a lot. It looks, so beautiful, simple, and clean. The colors he has chosen could not be better, and he spent an hour with me today on the phone, discussing the other pages of the site. You got to know Cyrus to know how different he is from me. We are the opposite side of the same coin. He is a gentlemen, tall , light and handsome, man of not many words, very athletic, and tehcnically gifted, So my poor friend has been ambushed by, me and my big mouth, and my rants and poetry, off color jokes, and graphic propositions. I offered to kiss his ass yesterday for all he has done for me, he was aghast, and very politely declined , telling me a handshake will do. He is like a vast land, solid and stable, and I am like hurricane, get the picture ?....... yesterday, I wrote, two poems, SMILE THE WAY WOMEN DO, and CUTTING MY BREAST. The first one is dedicated to our new friend OXIJEN, and the second one to all women who go through the horrific experience of Mestactomy. They are posted on POETS.COM for now, and I will probably post them here soon. I still have not recieved any answers, about your favorite poems, or rants on this pages, so don't be shy, EXPRESS YOURSELF............

Posted by Idinraha at 01:34 PM | Comments (2)

February 02, 2005

Self Rape

I don't know about the title, it was the first word that came to my mind. I just read a revised version of OXIJEN'S poem VICODIN, and the word, SELF RAPE, stood up in it. It is a crude term, specially written by a woman, but it served the poem well. she gets me, the way she exposes herself, so selflessly, and how she puts it right in your face, no room for denying, and the scent of it reaching, and poisoness. But that is the power of the written word, that is the jest of this dialougues, this macabre twists, turns and grinds. And such relief it is when the words come to view, take their own existance and live, in paradox of emotions, and ambitions of expressions. that is the reason, I mainly read women's poetry, men are not capable of such sacrifice, they don't even see it , or recognise it. I was reading last night an article in SIENTIFIC AMERICAN, about discovery of a tribe, that lived, 13000, years ago, and how women rulled the tribe. Hmmmmm, men were the hunters, and gathered food, and women, were the ones who planted seeds, and vegetables, but the artifacts discovered there shows, women sitting on the throne, and ruled. they also burried their dead underneath the floors of their houses. accepting death as just a part of life, residing very close to living. I wrote, two poems yesterday, SMILE THE WAY WOMEN DO, and CUTTING MY BREAST. The first one is inspired but what I have seen of OXIJEN, and her poetry, and the second one, is a painfull diary of a woman's acceptance of losing one breast. There is a line there, which I like plenty. after finding out that she has to lose her breat, the first thing she thinks, is that, if she could ever walk balanced with one breast. Hmmm, what was surprising is that after the poem was finished and found its shape on the screen, posted on POETS.COM, the shape of the lines resembled, a BREAST. There was no design or intention by me to make it that way, but it did, what can I tell you, words,and poems, find their life and shape on the paper, and maybe their Karma, I don't know. FEREYDON has left a comment on the REJECTION rant, asking for Editorial approval on any pieces I send out for publication, well that is a thought, so if you readers tell me, which of the poems are your favorite and worthy of presentation, I will consider your opinions, so let me know..........

Posted by Idinraha at 10:25 AM | Comments (2)

February 01, 2005

Damian Rice

Damian Rice, is a singer, song writer, that used to play Hard Rock, then while a go he changed venue, and he writes and sings Ballads now, he came out with an album, about a year ago that I purchased. The ballads are tortureously devine, and the music borders on angelic. I had forgotten about him untill recently i heared his music as the movie track, for CLOSER, the name of the song is CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU, and many other beautiful ones, I highly recomend it, and while I am on a recommending track, there is a little book, called, NOTES TO MYSELF. by HEUGH PRATHER, its full of little wonderfull observations of life, and human experiences. I have learned a lot from it, and its a must for every one curious about human nature and relationships. Let me also recomend again BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER, by Richard Beck, the author of Janathan Livingston Seagal. Its life affirming, and beautiful to read, again about human relations and looking for that elusive SOUL MATE.

Posted by Idinraha at 04:22 PM | Comments (4)

HOUSE .MD

well, well, well, House,MD , is a new show on FOX channel,at 9pm Its a great show, with great characters, specially doctor House, played by an english actor. imagine, if HAWK EYE PIERCE, from MASH,back in States, practicing medicine, as CYNICAL, and with as much dry black humor. I find it vey enjoyable, and even Marjan, my lovely wife, who usually does not like this sort of shows, is taken by it. so watch it, enjoy and let me know how you like it.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:32 AM | Comments (1)

guide to partner dancing

I posted partner dancing with no line breaks, I think the piece should almost be read in one breathe. it helps the mood and the urgency of the piece. so I thought maybe this will help, I know you are all educated and seen poems with no line break, but,what can I say, I am a carefull lover

Posted by Idinraha at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)

Partner Dancing

And the possibility of you Being here, holding my hands, The allowance you made me, With a look, a touch, as you entered into me, Soft shoes, dance stepped, closer by a breathe, Moving within my space, crowding me, stubbornly quiet, The allowance of time, and place the ease of my surrender, As you turned, opening your arms, swiftly turning me around On my heals, pushing me out, as your fingeres tripp down my arms, Softly catching me with your fingertips, and bringing me in, to your Side, your arms holding me around, circling my waist, to my hip, as You bring me to a hault, side by side, you and me, genly swaying, on Our toes, heals, and the proximity of you, whispering in my ear, Your Breathe warm, your voice, a soothing vesel,moist in my ear, telling Me, politely, to slow down my rhythm, and let you lead, as I lean Into you, willingly taken

Posted by Idinraha at 11:06 AM | Comments (1)

Tuesday child

Good news, we are going to have two more visitors. I invited a friend of mine, that I know for the last three years, to visit the site, she is an accomplished woman, and have listened to my yapping for many years, patiently. for the sake of her privacy we call her CW, untill at her discretion she introduces herself. I am so very happy hat she will be visiting. And of course, My other friend beside METALNYMPH, her pen name is OXYJENWASTERETTE, she is a great writer with amazing stories to tell, her poetry borders on confessional poetry, and get ready for brutality of her words, she cuts through, and watch you bleed, I will be sending the site adress to her today, and lets first see how she reacts to our genderbending hear, if she accepts us as gracefully as METALNYMPH has, then she might allow us to post one of her pieces. I will also ask Metal, if I can post two other poems of hers,VIOLIN, and STITCHES. There are both little gems. Fereydon has left us comments about yesterdays rants,THANKS, my gigolo, he also left the links to some of CAT STEVENS's songs, if anyone interested. I wrote a new piece yesterday, PARTNER DANCING, its a beautiful, tender, erotic piece, which I like plenty, so I decided to post it next. Cyrus , my main MANCRUSH, is still away, hopefully he be back soon, since I do miss him........I think we should have a DAY FOR DANCING, for the whoie nation,...and maybe the whole world, imagine, one day, no work, just every one in he streets, singing and dancing, the whole day, wow...............Yes, I do dream

Posted by Idinraha at 10:33 AM | Comments (1)