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February 23, 2005
skinning the lamb alive
Long time ago, in the land I was, in the age of my youth, when I was greener, taller, and more aqmbitious, I read a book, By Ali Shariati, named Kavir. He had a phd in sociology from switzerland, and to many of us he was a reveloutionary, someone who could ask for more, go to jail, come back out, be tortured, and then ask again. You know, its a very sad, but liberating moment when you realise that you will be killed for what you believe, and you know there is no way out. out of obligation to yourself, your ego, your id, your essence, there is noway out, that is the way it has to be , and it is so good that it is, the way it is. For we all need dignity in our lives, we all need honor, we need our own respect most of all, being in peace with one self. At such point Death is a blessing, once you get over the everydayness of our days, our habbits and hobbys, what is there, more dignified that dying for what you believe in, it almost seems that death has been cheated for it becomes a gift. And judas becomes our best friend, for without him jesus would have been just another prophet, and without Curicification, where would have he been. so tell me who is cheated here , who is used, and if Judas had a choice which life he would choose. Anyway in his book Mr, Shariati, told us living for him was like " being a lamb and skinned alive", can you imagine, isn't death at such point a sweet nectar, much desired, much wanted. And the Glory of Death, the solumn dignity of it, and its surprise that how joyessly it is wellcomed, and held. Ali, the factuall and in many ways the mythical figure in our religious also talks about such death, and the sweet, sweet liberation it brings, kissing the cold face of death. Some might not understand this, but I think I do. But these are our Philosopher kings, and yet still you will see the same courage, in the firemen, who asked for blessing from their chaplin, before they went back in the two towers, for they knew they will not come back, the soldiers who fight for our cause in Iraq, right or wrong, they see a different reality, and believe me they enjoy their hours of living with more passion and delight, that we will ever know. as Virginia wolffe said; " to know life and love it for what it is, and the ability to put it aside ", for our death is a big part of our living , and how a man dies, evaluates his life.
I asked him point blamk, if he would disrobe, and stands naked in front of the lights, and allow it's glare to blind him, and allow our eyes to run on him and everything of his. and he said yes. I cried, his generosity made me cry and his humanity. and he knows he would be better for it. much better. At least thats how I tell myself, when I am tired of my poking and prodding after I push and shove, and ask,........they would be all better for it. No matter how painfull, this is his gift, this has effected his life, like no other things, that what makes him and his experience unique, and he has choosen to share. FEREYDOON will share with us, probably something more meaningfull than we have ever posted here, so lets allow him his space and wait for his gift.
Posted by Idinraha at February 23, 2005 04:06 PM