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March 29, 2005
Muddy shoes, and the little Boo
Monday Morning, I took my Black dress shoes from the closet, there were still mud left on them from Dawood's ceremony, I did not clean them, just let them be, it was raining outside, and where I was going there would only be more mud, so I suited up, and left. By eleven O'clock, I was driving toward Philadelphia, with LiL sis Maryam, my mom, my dad, Hossein and his son Ahmad. We got lost a bit, the roads were bad, and it was raining cats and dogs. Actually it was a blessing that we got lost, by two O'clock we were at the cemetry, there were over one hundred people gathered around the grave, thankfully we had missed the acuall putting of the body in the grave....In our religion there is no barrial in a caskette. Mansour my cousin actually had washed the body himself, just imagine that, washing the lifeless body of your son, eh, then they wrapp the body in a white cloth, head to toe, and put it in the ground, then they remove the cloth from the face and pour dirt on the face, and cover the body with a slab of stone, and fill the grave up.
By the time we got there the slab had been placed so we did not see the body, I was greatfull to miss it. Arash's mother was sitting on the ground, screaming and crying loud, her face was white, no blood, and her voice coarse. Every one was crying hard, the rain was pouring and all these people dressed in black, water up to our ancles, and mudd all over every ones clothing, It was quite a scene.
I cried, as hard as I could, it seemed Gods were crying too. The body was burried, and we all went back to the car, and followed Sepideh's car to her house.
Inside the house there were flowers everywhere, and tables and chairs set for lunch, Sepideh found my mother, and dad, hanged on to them and cried again, then she brought a photo album of when Arash was three month old and they lived with us. There were pictures of him in my dad's house, the little boo, sitting happy and content. After a while, we left my mother and sister at Sepideh's house and went to a masque near by. Again there were tables set, lunch was served, and after ward there were prayers. We left Philadelphia at quarter after eight.
I saw many of my family there, the kids are grown, the girls , the boys, all these familiar faces that had one thing or another in common. We have a very large family in North East, and usually we do get together in large gatherings for weddings or special ocasions, and now it has come to this, we difinitely are in a different stage of our lives. But It is always good to see the family to feel a part of the pack. there is safety in numbers, and solace in getting hugs, crying together, and being there for each other. It was sad poignant, but necassary for me to go, it was good.
On the way back, Hossein drove, it was still raining, I felt kinda lost in the middle of all those cars, in the rain somewhere on route 95, I wanted to be home, with my beauties, I wanted the rain to stop, I wanted us to stop, just all these goings and comin backs, i am not used to being lost after 6 pm, usually I am home at that time, dry and content, I just wanted the day to end. Hossein put Cat Stevens on, and we sang along the whole CD, smoked cigarette, and plow through the rain and all those flikering lights, and then we stoped, I picked up my car, and could not wait to get home, just to be inside our garage, with the car's engine off the way I usually am at the end of my days, walking inside to safety of their smiles, hugs, and kisses.
I walked upstaires, checked on the kids, Marjan was up, we talked a bit, she made me something to eat, and I had a beer, and fell sleep on the couch watching TV. I know at some point I went upstaires, since I woke up in my bed, with Amin kissing me, and hugging me, complaining about my absence. It was so good to be there, right there
in my bed with Amin, while I could hear Marjan showering, and could imagine Kiana still sound sleep. LIFE IS GOOD
Posted by Idinraha at March 29, 2005 12:07 PM
Comments
amidst all of this I am amazed you ended with 'LIFE IS GOOD.' a positive attitude, or is it acceptance of everything you are dealt? if only we were all this strong...
Posted by: MeTaL at March 29, 2005 02:00 PM
It's not the matter of streanght but, not losing sight of how blssed we all are, and certainly me, specially amongst all the pain, which i had the privilage to feel, and the freedom to leave behind, LIFE IS GOOD.
Posted by: Idinraha at March 29, 2005 05:15 PM