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April 23, 2005
Cat fight, and pissing contest
Marjan my wife has always been my greatest source of Sanity, as Hyper and impulsive as I am, she is quiet, more reserved and a great source of stability in my life. She has seen me through thick and thin(mostly thick these days) and has loved me. So last night at the dinner table, we talked about the whole BITCHY side of me, and I am here to report; " You are ruthless man, and when you cut you cut from the roots, you are going to be left a lonely old man" she said lovingly. I tried to push further, and asked her why do I do what I do?, after twenty years of knowing me, she probably knows about the adult Javad more than any body else, and as a curios child that I am, I wanted to know. " Well love, you do have lots of issues, many hang ups, in relationship with women more than anything else, since you never had a close relationship with your mother, that has effected you through out your life", she said, Hmm, I thought, well I knew that, but I was ready for something more. " as an intelligent person you get bored with Normalcy, and need to search further", she continued. " why do you think is that I use a women's voice in my poetry? " , I asked. " well, actually that's the most sane part of you, in a way you know of your short comings and need in that department and you put an effort into it. I love your poetry it is the best part of you.",she said. Then I asked her to look into my rant and comments yesterday, and tell me her opinion, she did, and said," sugar it's a turf war, boys trying to fight to set their territories, your friend has his site now, you have left long comments for him, and as over bearing and abnoxious as you can be, your enthusiasm for spot light has gotten the best of you, not realising that you are encrouching on some one elses territory, that 's what you have done with your brothers, and your friends all your life, you can not resist it, it has to be about you all the time." she said.
I know she is right, she always is the way wifes and mothers are, clear as a bell. I am over bearing, and abnixious, and I can not resist the glare of lights, I did the same thing to Cyrus, when I found his site, leaving him what he jokingly called a TOMAR, afterward he reminded me that " let me do the saying" and then he opened this site for me. " you guys are worse than women, as KHALE ZANAK, AS THEY COME. HE HAS BEEN AS CHILDISH AS YOU",Marjan added. well that made me feel a bit better having a partner in crime. and that is the way the conversation ended up with Kiana getting in the middle, asking for the spot light.
Funny, I just recieved an email, from Cyrus, he has left me a comment about CONFESSION's rant," Do you know the difference between confessions and Bragging ?", he has asked. " I guess not", I answered.
Well, he is also one of the most sensible people I know, and I am lucky that i have these two in my life, for guidence and learning.
Marjan also brought to my attention that my friend had asked me not to mention his name and write about him anymore in one of his comments, somehow I had not seen that, but we will do according to his wishes, and leave him be.
LiL sis, Maryam is back, from a vacation with her three lovelies, she took the time last night and has read everything she missed, now that is love and dedication, and has enjoyed my sick sense of humor.MeTal is AWOL, I can not reach her even on POETS.COM. I do miss her here and also on POETS.com. Since she has been a great source of inspiration in my Poetic adventures. We do have three new visitors, and thank God they are all women, they have found us, in our DISTURBINGLY FRESH period, I hope they can forgive my childish temper, and visit often.
so let the lights glare, and let me, do another strip tease for you, I invite you to read CHEY'S COMMENT, about HUGH PRATHER, it's sensetive, poignant and beautifuly written comment, incidently Mr, Prather's note, is about BRAGGING. Life is such a wonder and again thanks to my main man, and guardian Cyrus, I am elated to share all this with you.
Posted by Idinraha at April 23, 2005 10:15 AM