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April 21, 2005
Confessions
A few month ago I was home sleepless at midnight, so went to the office we have at home, turned on the laptop, and tried to post a rant
to my surprise, I was not able to since I had only downloaded the MOVABLE TYPE at my laptop at work. So I decided on a whim to create a character, a new persona, which would allow me to leave humorous comments on my own site, and that is how FATHER HOMER BENT was created, as you know when posting a comment you have to leave a true webb adress, so I used the email of one of my friends as the webb adress.
The next day Cyrus called me about FHB(father homer bent), and asked if I know the email adress that was left, since he has full control to most everything on my blog, I confessed to him, he said surprisingly, "WOW NOW YOU CREATE A NEW CHARACTER, THATS NUTS", my answer was that FHB would allow me to critisize myself with humor, and bring something disturbingly fresh to the site. He did not seem to understand or accept my reasoning, but as nice as he is he went along with it. I brought FHB back a few more times when I thought it would showcase a different point of view, and of course with humor. Cyrus was not happy with it and thought it is decietfull to my readers.
As a writer, or someone trying to dare to those heights, I need to write, I do not know if you have seen the movie QUILLS, about a writer that was so obsessed with writing that when he was deprived of pen and paper, he used his feces, and at some point even his blood to write. Not as obsessive but I take great joy in doing what I do, and as an Artist, if I dare to call myself one, I am allowed to take my artistic freedom to any level I wish to. last time I checked , we are still leaving in AMERICA, and this is a free society that pays a high price even to my dismay at some points for FREEDOM OF SPEECH, and people of my tribe, Artists through out the ages have excersized such freedom even in closed societies. It is like breathing to us, and I would not be surprised if many of you do not understand.
I have had some disagreement with Cyrus about my style of writing and his right as my friend not wanting to be included in my flights of fancy, or humor, I think that is his loss but I have enough respect for him, and value his friendship enough to stay away from what he does not want. I am too much, I push too much, I dare too much, at my own expense first, but that is who I am and that is my style. Marjan My wife did not like some of my writing about her, and asked me and I listened, Fafar on the other hand has been generous enough to put up with the most of my name calling, and has told me in private that she does enjoy it, Maryam, my Lil sis has been OK with it too. BUT IF ANY ONE YOU DOES NOT LIKE TO BE INCLUDED IN MY BANTER, TELL ME, I WILL RESPECT YOUR WISHES, and although I have mentioned that this site will go on with you or without you, I do, yes I very much do need your inputs.
After finding trough an email that Fereydoon has created a site, enthusiastically I logged on, left long comments as I usually do, met new very intersting people and raved about it here. When Ferry told me how easy it is to get a site on MSN spaces and there are no charges involved, my mischivous restless soul came up with a new idea, why not create a site for FATHER HOMER BENT, so that is how BLESSING was created with FHB as the main comentator, hoping to allow me to display some of the pictures I have gathered trough the webb, and some dialogues. FHB is presented as a drunk theologian, with a fine taste for booze and women, and any forms of beauty in life. Although mainly as another venue and vehiechle for me to write.
Yesterday I left a comment for Fereydoon and unknowingly the FHB's adress was published with the comment, so I recieved a message from FEREYDOON; " SO YOU ARE FATHER HOMER BENT ?", I asked him how he knows that, and he told me. This morning when I checked Blessings, I found a very funny comment from Cyrus, and I wrote him back, thank God he did not give me any grief over it. I wrote another piece on FHB 's site, posted some pictures,and even recieved more comments which made me happy.
This afternoon I was on IM with FEREYDOON and asked him if he has read my new rant and how he liked it(PINK FLOYD IN PURPLE HAZE), to my surprise he said, " I did and I do not care for it", I was shocked, but he really ment he had read FHB's rant on BLESSINGS and he did not like it. and then he said something about how dare I to call my character a religioues Father, and the minute I do that I have lost my own respect, showcasing a holly man, or something of sort. When I told him that I was confused about his comments. he said he knows that I AM A CONFUSED MAN, AND HE DID NOT CARE FOR FATHER HOMER BENT, that's all and he left.
WOW, I thought to myself, I DO NOT REALLY KNOW ANY OF YOU, and yet I LET you SEE to some of my MOST intimate thoughts, you are right my friend I do not think I know you at all, and I am afraid of what I see. God Forbid the men of my generation come back to power in Iran, and this would be the form of freedom they excercise. so much generosity of spirit. so much depth of vision, so much liberty for speech and the rights of expressions. I am afraid we have not come far, we are still bugged down in petty expressions of our petty beliefs. and it is so sad to see this. It is scary.
IF YOU DO NOT LIKE MY PEACHES, DONT YOU SHAKE MY TREE. I set the prameters here my friends, as long as Cyrus have me I am his guest, and the minute he does not I will find other ways. if you do not like it GET THE HELL OUT. AND IF YOU DO, IT IS A PRIVILAGE AND HONOR TO HAVE YOU. the sign on the door says Idinrah, so that will be how it will be. and for my dear friend FEREYDOON, eh, we always have PARIS, and I dont think I am interested to know any further of what I see. Hope to see you all again in Idinraha.com, also come see Father Homer Bent and his misadventures at BLESSINGS
Posted by Idinraha at April 21, 2005 02:21 PM
Comments
thank u for the invitation to visit this site. I have seen the movie QUILLS, and can, perhaps not as literally, relate to what you so unelegantly referred to as a "need to write." In fact, my confession for the day will illustrate that I, like the character in the movie, am prepared to resort to less then honorable tactics, to satiate this "need". So forgive me father for I have sinned, I told my spouse I was going to the gym for a few hours, but instead I snuck away to an obscure little cafe so I CAN WRITE.
Posted by: Inasy at April 21, 2005 04:05 PM
It is such a pleasure to have you here, and its soothing and life confirming to me that you understand, you know i read somewhere writers write to ease their loneliness, and that is what I do, I hope you check th poems here, since I am
very proud of them, they are mostly about women, and ina woman's voice, if you also click on the book Icon, you will get to see my mere trial to write a book, and at some point I would like to know your opinion of it. We do have GUEST RANTS here, so if you are inclined to write us one, I will be delighted to post it. and if you have your works published anywhere on the webb, pls let me know, thanks again and hope to see you often in these pages.
Posted by: Idinraha at April 21, 2005 04:39 PM
I have no idea what you are talking about Javad. I have not even YET read the Pink Floyd rant of yours. I just saw the title after you referred to it in this rant. Next time ask before you publically accuse me of your online misunderstanding, unless you are trying to write "something disturbingly fresh to the site" at any cost. I NEVER told you I have read the Pink Floyd rant or liked it or not. I said I saw the blessing of father homer and didnt like it. The rest are product of your imaginations.
- Dont accuse me of what I think of Freedom of speech. YOU can do anything YOU wish and I have no authority to pull any plugs on anyone and never will.
- I don't like those who create fake ID's or personalities to satisfy their need when there are other real people involved who take those characters seriously. You have all the right to create as many FICTIONAL characters as you wish in your books and rants as long as the otehr person knows that. But don't you ever play with REAL ME with them. If others let you do that that is their right and your choice. But do not expect under the freedom of speech or whatever to mislead ME. That is also MY right and my choice.
Last thing I need is another writer/poet/father using the banner of freedom of whatever to encroach on other people's life in any shape or form. Life is REAL and is not a movie or a novel.
- I am not the one who complains about your idinraha, you are the one who have been acting up ever since you come across Cyrus and I and want to change us to our preferences. No I never ever attempted to shake your tree and always attempted to water it and even encouraged you to plant the seed of the idinraha when I safekeeped your poems and encouraged you. But don't you try to shake or encrouch on mine under the cry of freedom of speech or anything, as if you are the only one who has freedom and noone else has their own rights.
Be the Father Homer as much as you want. I don't care for him, real or fake and never will and that is MY right. I don't care what he his opinions or beliefs are, as long as he gives himself the RIGHT TO 'PREACH' others under his Self procalimed Godly right. I HAVE the right not to like him and never will especially if he started it deceitfully as they usually do. What I told you was as a friend. Remember mine or Cyrus's life/site/or opinions are OURS and not yours. If you don't see in yourself to respect them then enjoy your freedom not to without me.
No matter what, as always I wish you the best. I apprecaite if you have anything else to tell me or write about me, send me an email and not to post it to the world without my consent. One more time my life is my right not yours. So per your request I am getting the "hell" out father.
Best wishes.
Posted by: Fereydoon at April 21, 2005 08:57 PM
I wrote the lst one at work and this is the rest that I amwriting at home. Problem is not that you chose a fictional character and problem is not that I may or may not like it. Problem is that you make the fictional real without the readers of both websites consent or you make your friends and real charcters the fictional characters of you writings without their consent.
Next time you watch a movie that you really like also sit through the credits as I do and see it to the very very end and read the part about the real characters and the fictional ones. Right to privacy and respecting others is another right in America.
Posted by: Fereydoon at April 21, 2005 09:46 PM
Although I have not received an invitiation to write and don't even know if this well get posted, I wanted to let you know that Quills is one of my favourite movies. First it stars three wonderful actors - Kate Winslet (she's also one of the most beautiful women in my opinion), Michael Caine and Geoffrey Rush. The film successfully captures one man's passion for artistic creativity and freedom of expression against those who profess to morality but in essence are the most hypocritical. "There are no bad words...only bad deeds."
Posted by: ShirnkLady2004 at April 21, 2005 10:46 PM
Although I have not received an invitiation to write and don't even know if this well get posted, I wanted to let you know that Quills is one of my favourite movies. First it stars three wonderful actors - Kate Winslet (she's also one of the most beautiful women in my opinion), Michael Caine and Geoffrey Rush. The film successfully captures one man's passion for artistic creativity and freedom of expression against those who profess to morality but in essence are the most hypocritical. "There are no bad words...only bad deeds."
Posted by: ShrinkLady2004 at April 21, 2005 10:48 PM
Right after we cry for "freedom of speech" is the best time to start holding mirror to our face ,
because then we might folow it with : "I set the prameters here my friends,...... if you do not like it GET THE HELL OUT"
Posted by: Fereydoon at April 21, 2005 11:50 PM
Dear SL, as that oversized philosopher said:"YOu took the word right out of my mouth, it must have
been when you were...." well, truly they are no bad words, but our perceptions of them, you know the word RAHA means free, so lets have another for the sake of freedom of speech, and be aware of the ones THAT CAN NOT GET OVER THEMSELVES. I love all the actors in that movie, specially Geofrey Rush, and of course Kate Winslet, has been an inspiration, watch her in HOLLY SMOKE, she does burn. wellcome my dear, check the poems, there is a book inprogress, and you can say here whatever your heart desire, and we also have GUEST RANTS, if you want you can write one and I will post it.
Posted by: Idinraha at April 22, 2005 03:08 PM
Well my stingy friend, as I told you we serve lotsa love here in Mega Bites. and we tend to do it publicaly, if you can call five and a half readers i have here a PUBLIC. And not to worry most of my readers here are generous souls, who Have accepted me for who I am, and although they do not share a past with me they have more trust in my sensibilities. It is just that the love we serve comes with spices, and sometimes burns when you take it, but that is the reason they come here. They take a look at the world through my eyes, thats all, and they do not question my integrity, or sincerity, or intentions, no one here so far has told me that I am confused. i am as sober as they come, and I do what i do with clarity. Am I Bisexuall, Bi curious, a bit nuts, well thise would be better labels if you need to brand me one. I have not told anybody what to call me or not, and so far have posted everything I have recieved, and I will do the same as we go on. I thin you should check your undies, maybe yesterday they bunched up a bit high, or they are getting thight on you, it happens, life is bitch, but if you practice good foreplay and be a creative lover, it will be hell of rapture.
Posted by: Idinraha at April 22, 2005 03:56 PM
I am so glad to get you involved in this discussion, and get a closer look inside you, since you do not like to show me yours, and do not like mine. I have never wanted to change any one, far from it, wanting to make them like me, it would be too boring, and I can accept everything but BORING. I like all of my friends the way they are, and their differences is what makes me curious, standing on my toes, pushing a bit. Hey we are grown men, at least some us,and our characteristics are embeded in us are. I have not questioned your intentions, or character,and intagrity, you have. and I am just having a hell of a good time answering you, so be nice, be patient, we will get somewhere. FREEDOM OF SPEECH, AND EXPRESSIONS, thats all I want, and if you decided to get the hell out, dont shot the door too tight, as crazy as I might be, remember YOU HAVE NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME, and in your way YOU DO LOVE ME, remember the door is always open to you and every one else, so don't tread too far,and if you missed me come back, I STILL LOVE YOU, in my own way.
Posted by: Idinraha at April 22, 2005 05:23 PM
Do you know the difference between "confessing" and "bragging?
Forgive me...
Posted by: cycho
at April 23, 2005 10:36 AM
Forgive you, are you kidding,- I love you, you can never do better by me as you are, honest and sensible, please love me enough to share what you think, I am a work in progress, and you offer such clear view of your sensibilities that make me ache wanting more.
Posted by: Idinraha at April 23, 2005 11:38 AM