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April 28, 2005
The world is flat
Around Eleven O'clock last night, After the kids fell sleep, and Marjan had also retired for the night, I went down stairs, and watched Charlie Rose, on PBS. His guest was Thomas Friedman, the journalist that writes for NY Times, He was there to discuss his latest book, WORLD IS FLAT. For the next hour I was amazed by Friedman's assesment of his book, and his vision. WOW, I had never thought about our world the way he depicted it. The discussion was very logical, visionary and informative. I think , THE WORLD IS FLAT, is a MUST read for all of us, young and old, that live on earth, and raise families. It would show you a world the way you have never seen and thought about before. I think CYRUS would love it, since it depicts Internet as one of the biggest elements that has made this new world. I am going to buy the book, and I do feverishly recommend it to most of you, and anyone I know. I can see this book being thought in high schools, and colleges all over the world, making Mr Friedman the most progressive thinker of our generation.
Fereydoon my sweet heart of a friend has left us a message, about how this site has become too feminine. I beg to differ, we do have more female commentators, and visitors here. The only male comentators and contributors that we know of are Cyrus, Fereydoon, and I. Lets not forget that, I am still a man, I do tend to play different roles, and try to bring a more fresh, and different view of my experiences, by showcasing different parts of my psyche, but It is a male Psyche, believe it or not.
As I told you before, I was raised with nine beautifull Aunts very present in my life. As a child ahead of his class and classmate, and much younger than them, the smallness of stature did not allow me to be a playmate with guys in the field, I was just two samll at five years of age to play with seven years old boys in my class, so I was left out, and later on accepted and invited by the girls to become their playmates.
I love women, in every form and shape, to me they are all beautifull, and my wife does always say that I find beauty in every women I see.
THat is probably not as much by choice than by my nature. Remember we are all unique human beings, products of our upbringings and environments, and it is this uniqueness that makes each one of us special. I have also mentioned that I think to some extent my attraction to women, and my efforts to get noticed by them, and be loved by them beyond my physical attributes might have something to do with what happened to me when I was TWO years old.
When I was Two Years old, and the world was still round, my parents got seprated, due mostly to my beloved father's deciets. My mother left my father, and left me and my older brother with him. She only could take my younger brother since he was still being breast fed. I somehow also think in her heart of hearts she knew she had to come back, and leaving us with my father was her way of making sure of it.
The seperation took six month. They used to take me and my older brother to my mom for visits every week, and my mom says, that on those visits I used to sit next to her, hold her hand and just cry.
I was taken to a doctor, and the Doctor told my mother there is no physical problem with your child, he is just very depressed. My parents got back together again, although MY beloved(hehe) Grandfather had tried to bribe my mother by sending her to europe, if she left my dad. The funny thing is that my Beloved Grandfather was guilty of same deciets, and he has left many of scars in the psyches of his kids. Anyway, the world was never the same for me, it was never as safe as before, and I decided in early childhood that my only defence would be to act more adult than my age. I was a serious child with a big head, and not many smiles.
Well since in my head my mother had left me, I could not allow that to happen again with any women in my life. I was to be loved, no matter what. This manifested into me leaving many relationships with women in my life, mostly girl friends, before they could leave me. I used to think that I was not worthy of their attention, and I had to try harder. I never started a relationship, the girls I went out with usually had to take the first step, but I did finish many realationship without allowing them to grow. I still do not feel worthy of the love and attention my beautifull wife gives me, and feel so blessed being a husband and a father. still doubting my worth to them.
And I still can not get enough attention from women, I need it , I ask for it, not sex, not physical relationship, as long as I see them adorring me, thrilled by me, that is all. I do have love of a beautifull women at home, who knows she is safe with, and I never want to open my eyes to anyother face in the morning, or get to sleep looking at any other face at night but hers.
And in many ways, my curiosity into their world, using their voices in my poems is my way of having more of them in my life. In any ways I also feel it is not my feminie side, but my human side that appeals to women. So SHRINK LADY, what do you think, get in this discussion anytime you want and shed us some light.
So now I am sitting here naked, well, I know, I am trying to lose some weight, if it bothers you concentrate on the face, specially my eyes, I am most naked in there
Posted by Idinraha at April 28, 2005 09:40 AM
Comments
It is no different for women and their need for male attention, mostly paternal. I think that when a girl recieves enough healthy male attention from her father, she is less inclined to give in to the seductions of the first loser who crosses her path.
I doubt that your mother's abandonment has much to do with your need for female adoration. I think that you would have sought such approval even if you had the benefit of her constant attention. I suspect that you crave women as a source of inspiration for your writing. And this becasue, women can be a metaphor for all things which correspond with the spiritual world. Even our bodies are curved to simulate our circular and infitnite nature, like a comma which beckons you to extend your sentences, and always leaving room for after thoughts.
Women are spiritual beings and as such, they are flawed, because the spirit world is difficult to grasp and is subservient to the concrete bound reality of the corporeal world-- which is the world of men.
Notice how a man's body also simulates the finite with sharp edges and a period to every concrete thought. And although they are easy to grasp, and bound only to logic and subservient to no one, they are no less complicated. But men need women in order to nourish the parts of them which cannot find expression because of the finitude of their neurological and physical being. This is why men choose to EXPRESS themselves through their engagments with women, while women only need one concrete man for mutual nourishment. I believe this like I believe in God.
Every cosmic truth has a conrete reality. And I am going to sound and confess to being sexist when I say that men have a greater grasp on reality then women, but they cannot properly deal with that reality , manipulate it, or use it, unless they have the benefit of being nourished by a female who celebrates those attributes and contributes NOT resists them. That men have become anything less then what they were destined to be is directly propotional to the degree to which they have had access to the female spirit. I love the abstraction of the male spirit as much as you do the female. I however, feel that the elevation of women at the expense of the integrity of men, has resulted in diminishing both female beauty and male achievement.
Posted by: Inasy at April 28, 2005 12:29 PM
Oh Inasy, I wish I could write as beautifully as you do, I am so jelous, you are right, I am very careful, and loving in my realations to my daughter. I have outmost respect for the likes of my gender, but I am most taken and charmed with women, which it is natual. Not interested in bedding them, I like to look at the, watch the, listen to their voices, and go away. I am asmuch in amore with them physivally, and admire them afar.
Posted by: Idinraha at April 28, 2005 02:51 PM
verytime I read Inas, my belief in God gets stronger. Not only for how she writes but also for how she sees. Thank you again Inas for your generousity. You are not just an an island on this planet, you can claim your own star.
Posted by: LiveLife at April 28, 2005 04:23 PM
Indiraha, busy day at work and will respond later, I have read what you have written and will take the time out to give you a proper response.
Posted by: ShrinkLady at April 29, 2005 12:43 AM
I just had to thank you for your compliments. But you should know, for the record, that I could not write a poem to save my life. It is I who is enamored by your poeticism, and Fereydoon's insights. God bless..
Posted by: Inasy at April 29, 2005 05:48 PM
Inasy, "I could not write a poem to save my life." And I thought I was alone.
Posted by: ShrinkLady at April 30, 2005 04:52 PM