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May 20, 2005
$ 64000. Qestuion
Well my dear SL, leave it to you, to come up with the $64000. question, and now you probably expect and answer, what is the motivation behind my shamelees flirting with other men, I really do not know, actually in some case it might be that there is such stigma with being a hemosexuall, and how men generally are so scared of being assosiated with such behavior or deviation.
In my country, where I was born, and grew up, while I used to visit my father and his collegues in the Bazar, I had come to witness and appriciate, the art of flirting with men. You see it was rather customary for these guys, each of them married men with no absoloute tendencies toward being a hemosexuall, to greet each other with kisses, and flirt openly as a way of humor, and laughter, in many ways as a way to relase the every day prsseures of their living, and the hardness of the lives they lived, for in all my years going there, and with all my family being self employed businessmen, we had never heard of anybody getting caught with their pants down.
As you know I do live a shameless life within these pages, but some of it also does sip in my outside world, Marjan has gotten used to it, and knows it is harmless fun. His brothers are too proper, and respectfull to do what I do, but they all have seen me and Houtan for example to flirt, mostly me doing the flirting and Houtan putting up with it, so it has become a second nature to me. But I could dare to say that it is a rather common practice amongst many Iranian men. or at least the ones that I know.
It is also a way of setting boundries, breaking the ice, humor, or just to be a jolly good fellow. Also you might find the route of it in the fact that in our society, men were not able to flirt with other women, so they started to flirt with each other. I remember My uncles and most of my father's family also being heavily involved in such a practice. Again as far as I know we do not have any hemosexualls in the family, and if we did it would be allright with me.
I have always enjoyed the company of Gay men, most of whom that I know are very educated, artisitic, sensative souls, always kind and loving. I enjoy their quiet decadent, and have been inspired by the pain they feel in not being accepted by the society, their family and most of all by themselves. I have been the subject of their love and affection too which I had cherished, and enjoyed without getting involved with them. They do respect your inclinations and preferences and never try to force themselves on you.
To my artistic dismay and regret, I am not a hemosexuall. I could at least be BI sexuall, but not even that, and I am very comfortable with who I am, and my gender. So it is easier fo0r me to do what I do, and unfortunately I am so taken and in owe of female form that have never been able to acquire a taste for any other. Still this does not govern my life totaly and if at some point I find the inclination I would be delighted to satisfy it. and I am shameless enough to tell you all about it. You have read my banter about my devoution to CYRUS( to his dismay), calling him my MANCRUSH, and admitting to loving him more than it seems proper, but there is nothing sexuall about it, not so far, and not yet, but who knows, what lies ahead of us, and what turn we will all take around the corner.
In my quest to know and explore the female Psyche, I have written many poems about Sapphic love and erotica(for example, FINDING THE MAIDEN), but have not done that in the male catagory. I am very much taken by my new discovery of CAVAFY's poetry, and him being a hemosexuall, but at the best I think the most intimate emotions that I see in his poetry brings him closer to the senuality of a woman, which is easy for me to understand.
Posted by Idinraha at May 20, 2005 03:32 PM
Comments
I am aware that in Muslim countries that the option to intermingle with the opposite sex is severely restricted. However, I question that the flirting would reach the degree to which you have described among the men in the locker room. But then again, I have never hung out in the Bazar so who am I to comment?
Is this really an Iranian cultural practice? Where I live I have not met or interacted with many Iranians (none at all) so I am not aware. But I will be rather observant in future when I see a bunch of Iranian men together.
Based upon what I have read in your journal, methinks that you are looking for male approval - from your own father and that you have reached out in a way where you might have confused "sex" with the desire to find "warmth and affection" from the same sex. I guess you are looking for acceptance and that primarily from your own father.
The fact that you do not find the male appealing in the sexual sense tells me that you are not gay but you def. like to get a kick out of winding them up. The problem is that you might be putting someone else in uncomfortable situation by shamelessly flirting with them and they might not be willing to tell you - they might laugh it off - but never tell you how they might feel. For example, the men in the locker room are your friends and they know you, but what about someone else who does not? Would you do the same with them?
And a MANCRUSH - what does that entail - is it that you desire to possess the characteristics of your MANCRUSH Or your MANCRUSH himself?
If I am getting too personal, do not answer the questions and you can flirt all you want with as many men as you want, but I am fascinated in that I have never met a straight guy who flirted like that - fascinated.
Posted by: ShrinkLady ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.idinraha.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 20, 2005 08:40 PM
The man Flirting as a joke that idinraha is talking about, is another totally sick practice in Iran by some, which is the direct consequence of seperated genders from childhood due to a sick religion.
Posted by: LiveLife at May 21, 2005 07:03 PM