Idinraha unshackled...

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May 15, 2005

Lovers in purgatory

W;" Please don't"
L: " you hate me, don't you "
W; " NO, but I have to much on my mind, we need to figure this all out"
L;"figure what out, I love you, what else matters, Love has indulged us, we are here, you , and me, let's leave the world out side"
W;" I wish it was that simple, yes, you love me, I kknow, but can love be enough"
L; " Of course, we are lucky to have found each other, you know how many people go on living without finding themselves in their lover's eyes. Why can't love be enough"
W; " because we are grown ups, living in a grown up world, we have obligations, we have made promises to others, we love others, it is not only me and you alone in this world."
L; " As long as I am concerned, it is, it is only you and me, when I am here, with you, nothing matters, no one matters, you might think I am selfish, but I am in Love, what else could matter"
W; " you are too romantic, you should live in story books,"
L; " Maybe, but you are here, with me, your hands in mine, breathing the same air, knowing how I want you, and how long I have waited for this"
W;" So a frolic in the bed, behind these coverd widow, is that us, is that our love, hidden, blossoming in sheets of cheap motel room, in the afternoons, is that what you need of me, is this the way you love me"
L; " why do you have to mock everything, the only truth is that you and me, we are together, it does not matter, when or where, No I love to walk with you in open spaces, behind open windows, I love to stand on the top of the roofs and tell every one how I love you, do not mock the truth of our love, for if you do, we will not have anything."
W;" So you love me, Hmm, we get to makke love for an hour or two, and then you go to your partner, and I go to mine, with our dreamy eyes, misty of the allowance we had even for a short while, you kiss your darling, and I kiss mine, and when they reach us we shudder, we stay, we put up with it, we let them fuck us, since there is no love, we get to be fucked, and smile as the pain reaches us both, afterward, clinging to the sides of our beds, feeling dirty, compromised, and violated, and the heavy scent of deciets and lies. It will kill us, and with it it would destroy any respect we might have for ourselves and each other."
L;", so you have decided, haven't you?"
W; " no, but I want you to get in this with open eyes, I love you too much to allow you decieve yourself"
L;" If you knew all this why, then why you took me, I was living my life, a normal life, they were things I did not know, they where places in my heart I had not claimed, but I was okay"
W: " I did not seduce you, we met, remember, we just met, like many people do every day on this god damned earth, all these people who meet, say hello, and then say good by, we met, and we were claimed, not of our own knowing, or wanting, just claimed, by something bigger ........bigger than us, I did not take you, you happened to me, like a ton of breaks, you happened to me.."
L; " Yes, but I did not expect you in my life either, I had no place for you, I was fine, happy as I could be, but how can I go back now, how can I forget, I am not the same person, my life has changed I have changed, you makke me like myself, I have gotten to love me through your eyes, your love has given me a certain dignity...... I like the new me, I like the crisp colors of the leaves and trees, and seasons, songs had never sounded so good, birds, the sky,. the air, life, YOU
DID THIS, YOU.........and now you expect me to worry how I would love you, or how I come to kkeep this, worrying about others in my life, NO I CAN NOT WORRY ABOUT OTHERS IN MY LIFE, NOT NOW, NOT AFTER THIS, I am shaken I am blown to pieces, I can not breath, I can not sleep, but I am happy, I am happy, the way I never knew happines existed, everythings taste frsh in my mouth, the water, the scents, everything, and YOU DID THIS,....... I am in love, I know love hurts, love burns, but I will pay the price, to feel the way I do now, as long as I can, I am not scared,...... I am , but not scared enough to run, and deprive myself of the only truth that I kknow of, I am in love, I am crazy,......it is supposed to be this way, isn't it"
W:" Hshh, come here, just come here and hold me now"

Posted by Idinraha at May 15, 2005 03:48 PM

Comments

Posted by: cycho at May 17, 2005 12:50 AM

Posted by: Idinraha at May 17, 2005 11:29 AM

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