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May 18, 2005
Playground
T: We have to ask you to leave
I: Why ?
T: you are making chaos, and being difficult
I: I am not bothering any body, I have been quiet all the time, just sitting here, watching every one
T: I know, but you are quietly disturbing yourself, we can see you are being hurt, it is so obvious.
I: disturbing myself, but isn't that my teritory, I can do what I want
to myself.
T: yes you could , but we do not have to witness it, it is painful, we worry about you.
I: I know what I am doing, it is like a dance, I know all the moves,
when to come in, when to turn, and I can stop it at anytime.
T: that's what you think, but you get others involved too, and they might not know, what you are doing, they might take you for what you say, or write, or think
I: thats going too far, I usually tell them, if they wanna play is up to them. I tell them it is a game. they usually know, and the ones I choose, are always the smart ones.
T: I know that too, but they come here to play, beneath all they show, they are only little boys and girls, they believe your words, you decieve them, and they get hurt.
I: that is their fault, I point out the rules, I expect them to know, and if they take a risk in playing with me, that is their choice.
T: But why do you have to do this, why can't you be honest,why do you change your outfits every day, your gender, your ideas, you confuse them
I: but they will learn, they getr to think on their feet, and that helps them grow, and why you ask, because I need it, I need to see their reactions, their responces, the energy they give me, I need them to like me, to want me, to keep me in their psyche, and dream of me.
T: you are so needy, and so pethatic, can't you just play their games, HOPSCOTCH, HIDE AND SEEK, can't you be yourself
I: No , never, their games are boring, those games are only games with no subsequences, no results, there is no individuality in them.
I need more, you see it is for my ART, I am allowed, I need inspirations, and I can nopt live the life of a poet or an artist, so I get to play
T: But then what after the games are finished, there is no one to play
, they refuse to play with you, what if y0ou get involved in the game, and lose your own reality.
I: well that is what makes it interesting, and exciting, I have to come up with differen schemes, ideas, and if I get involved, heh, i always get involved, that is idea, so I can feel, you see I need to feel, and I pay the price, I come to this knowingly, and I am clever.
It is my choice, and I can write about the experience, you see i have to do this, and no matter what I know how to go back to my reality, my reality is always there, I put it aside from time to time, but I know it is there.
T: well, I do not know what to say, just be carefull with yourself and others, the price you pay might be high, and remember I am watching you.
I: thanks, I am whatching you too, remember you are also a part of the game.
T: You pompous ass.
Posted by Idinraha at May 18, 2005 09:58 AM
Comments
You pompous ass ;-)
Posted by: LiveLife at May 18, 2005 06:44 PM
Even when playing with youself (I mean, in the playground of your mind) you still manage to "cross" the "T"...
Posted by: cycho ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.idinraha.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 18, 2005 08:06 PM
What are you getting us ready for? I know you're cooking something. Another Father whatever his name was?!!!!! You ought to change site's name with Cyrus.
Posted by: Maryam at May 19, 2005 08:05 AM