Idinraha unshackled...

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June 30, 2005

Q&A with I&P

I; will you cover yourself please
P; does my nudity scares you, or entices you
I; Well this a formal talk, but you know it's okay, somehow it helps our dialogue.
P; I am happy to help
I; So why this line of work ?
P: Why not, somebody has to do it, and I like working on my back
I; Aren't you afraid of the dangers of it
P; Well usually I am in control, I dont do more than one at a time
I; What brought you to this, poverty, rape, sexuall abuse
P; No sugar those are excuses so you could feel not guilty about what you do, it somehow helps your working class values, blaming something you know, no I was not raped, abused, or was poor, we all make choices
and I am hoping not to do this for long
I; you all say that, but you usually get bugged down in it
P; Nobody knows, but I think this is a more honest or i could say most honest way to earn a living. the buyer sees what they buy, and usually they leave happy
I; That is a very simplistic way of looking at it
P; I know but, as women we all have the privilage, and as long as there is demand we get to supply
I; How does it effect you inside, how do you feel when you are all by yourself, it should have some psychological side effects
P; Well everything has a cost, maybe I cry a little, have to take more showers, and scryb my skin till its raw, reality never goes down easy, neither does cum
I; rather visuall I say
P; get over it suga, we are all prostitutes, we all serv somebody, we all sell what we can, have you watched TV lately, no that makes me feel filthy. maybe you should talk to senators and congressmen, the lobbyists, the ladies in Hollywood, at least I kiss my customers before..........and they all leave me happy.

Posted by Idinraha at 03:59 PM | Comments (0)

Kianaraha

Well watch out publishing world here she comes. Recently one of my friends sent me an Email, telling me how her Twelve years old daughter has a Blog now, and is writing a book on her blog, asking me to visit and leave comments. I did, she is so good and so accomplished in her aspiration that I was speechless,she definitely has it and writing comes naturally to her. For the longest time,Kiana has been asking me if she could have her own Blog, and i was resisting it, but seeing my friends daughter's Blog, i asked Kiana to visit her site, and if ahe liked I would make her a blog of her own.

Yesterday we accomplished that task, and she was looking for a name for her on line persona, I suggested KIANARAHA, and she loved it, the name of her site is "Kianaraha and stars", and she is going to try to post rants in it everyday. My beautifull wise wife, Marjan was not sure that having a blog at age Eight would be a good idea, but I assured her that I will supervise it and she accepted my reasoning.

So maybe in a while after she has found her way around her new blog, I would give you my friends its adress and ask you to visit, Kianaraha and the stars. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 12:44 PM | Comments (3)

A day in the country

I left the store yesterday around twelve, somehow writing the book, has made me daydream a lot these days, its like living in a different reality, but you have to know your way back, to leave the pen and the paper, turn around and go back, to where love comes easy, and it is in abundance.

The fastest way for me to get back to reality, is to turn on the radio, and somehow it is soothing and reasurring that I still have the control of my senses and can relate to every thins around me, the way I should as a married man with children.

Once home, I relaxed , took my colthe off, put on my bathin suite, the tiny Yelleow Polka dot Bikini Cyrus has ent me, got outside and basked in the warmth of the son, to fit better I knew i had to do a chore, you guys know that marjan makes living in our house so comfortable for me that I do not even put the trash out. Anyway cleaning the pool was a good way to start. Soon after Amin, and Kiana joined me, and we dipped in the pool, the water was reffreshing, and invegorating, floating weightless, swimming, splashing, jumping in and out, with the kids around me, and then, I went out and laid in the sun, marjan brought me a Beer and a Sandwich (OLIVIEH SALAD), and snacks for the kids since they already had their lunch.

After lunch, a bit more swimming, drying ourselves in the sun, just hanging around relaxing, and then we were off to the movies, HERBIE, well I do enjoy going to the movies a lot, and the kids exitement is always endearing, pop corn and soda always taste better in the movies too. Anyway back home, I took a twenty minutes nap, and then we were off to pick up our older son(only for three more days) David, and go to his basketball game. It is amasing how these kids play their heart out, it was an exciting game, though David's team lost by four points, but it was great I was yelling and screaming, and my kids were surprised to see me so involved in the game. We went to dinner afterward and head home by 9;30, sleep came easy and this morning although i was all soar, Marjan pushed me out of the door to go do my excersise. I had so much fun, i think i will do it more often.

I don't know if it is my right wing sensibilities, or maybe the glow is off the rose, I am not getting as many comments, maybe I AM BEING REPPETIOUS, or digging too deep, I remind myself this is the age of Mac Newspapers, and USA TODAY sells more papers that NY Times, or WSJ. if you want readers, you gott to have pictures, and short fast subjects, in and out, not too deep, just float on the surfaces, and maybe my involvement in the book, and lack of as many posts, I dont know, but I am sure in many ways this would be a blessing too, and i will learn from it.

And so much for the new enterprise, I guess it was shot down, I got to learn to dream in smaller morsels, accept the reality of busy lives, and be more logical. I remember long time ago, when i was partners with my brothers and dad, and every day was full of meeting, fights, yelling and screaming, my young wife, wise beyound her age, used to remind me most mornings," Remember Javad, not everybody sees things the way you do, be more logical, listen to others, and allow others to say their piece, or try to explain yourself better.".

LIFE IS EVEN BETTER AFTER HAVING A HALF A DAY OFF.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:11 PM | Comments (2)

A Glance

The quiet predictability of life
Its everydayness , its comfort,
As the day rushes , taking you to
All it brings within the jest
Of your expectations

The ease of its familiarity
as the day dripps within the
quiet surrender of the sky, the
Movement of the hours, the sun that
shines as it did in days gone by
And the reality of existance
'flowing within you, carrying you
to places you know of

The entire sure footed laws
Of this reality, and the necassety
Of them, that somehow finds us,
And brings us to a halt, and the
ever eluding exaltion of life

And yet there is more
There is always more,
As the perfect stranger
Find you, and whispers Hello.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:02 PM | Comments (0)

June 29, 2005

Black and white

How does it find you, the figure in the middle of the field, the whole scence the full emptiness of it.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:52 AM | Comments (1)

Often

I guess I did not know, it is often when I do not realise the lenght of my quiet visits to the wood, and the effort it requires to see what I see and remember them as I bring them to life within these pages.

I did not get a chance to write yesterday, Fereydoon and the wealth of what he covers on his site, somehow takes me and writing there becomes more important. I dont know, but there was also the problem with my laptop, and my ignorance of how these thecnical whitcheries work, I was out of order, untill I got the lap top back in the late afternoon. and then as this book is flowing out of me, I had to get back to Malcol, and Sophie, and I did have such a good time with them, though it took so much out of me, For I felt the depth of her longings and the wonder of her existance in Malcolm's life. i finished chapter two, and it took me my whole trip home and listening to talk radio to bring me back from my trespass.

I corrected most of the book today, wrote a poem and since I had mistakenly posted it on the book site, I decided to use it in the book, Dr B, is happy with the progress and wrote me a very encouraging Email anbout the chapter Two. Yummy, I have been also blessed with Inasy 's guidence and suggestions, she warns me of the burden of such commitment, and I cherish her generosity.

LIFE IS GOOD, I am taking the afternoon of to spend some time with my
beauties, and share a bit more of my life with them.

There are a lots of things to cover, The President's speech last night, David Kline's new book about Hillary, and how it is being trashed by the press, although Mr Kline used to be the editor of NY Times, and he is highly regarded as a Journalist and a writer by the left leaning media. Our new Selected President in Iran, and his shameless past, which is covered in lenght by Fereydoon at hisw site.

Well Tomorrow probably will be as good to cover all of this, and I shal engage in making sense of it all within my right leaning sensibilities. Sl has pulled her self out of the new enterprise I had suggested, so has Cyrus, as I expected. they are both logical, very reasonable people with their feet firmly set on the ground, but I will find a way to get to him. There has been no suggestions from any one towrd the inception of the enterprise that was suggested, expectedly every one has looked at the empty half of the glass, and brought it to our attention. Fereydoon has been more encouraging than others, since he still has a lot of a dreamer in him. Inasy also has warned of the problems ahead, and the lack of time in all our lives to deal with such aspiration.

I remember when i told you guys that I will be writing a book, a dear, very dear friend of mine encouraged me to get out of the obligation I was putting on myself by my ever present dreaming self.
and he did poke me a few time about my late start, and the single post of the first paragraph I had in that section for the longest time. and I think he might not be impressed bu the stroy I am telling in the book, but I am sure he is taken by the volume that has followed.

Every journey starts wih the first step, so dreaqm a little, dare a bit more, come up with your vision of the half full portion of the glass and tell me if you like how it CAN be done, take a different tak, and think alomg the positive lines of how if the proposition got accepted by every one choosen, how can it be done. It mmight appeal to the problem solver, the PUZZLE monger part of the Cyrus's personality, and also it might trigger something in the rest of you, so I will wait...................

Posted by Idinraha at 11:18 AM | Comments (0)

June 27, 2005

Are we there yet?

well any of us going somewhere diffinitely have heard the outcry o0f our children, ARE WE THERE YET?, said so many times to our dismay. Now our friends on the left have made that a banner for their cause, winning while our respected visionary leader is drivig us trough the saharas of Middle east.

W said from the begining, it is gonna be a long hard war, but the war worthy of its execution. Wars do not come prepackaged with mannuals, they do not have expiration date, they are managed as we go along, mistakes are made and solutions are found, these are the same naysayers that published the 0same essays during WW II, and i0f we had listened to them 0we would 0be eating more cabbage, and sausage for food, and talked German.

Casualties, I know from where I stand it is eay to say this, but read yo0ur history, we Lost ten thousand men in one month fighting Japanese in an Island, trying to capture a hill. American millitary loses 3300, people avrage every year in training and accidents. in two years we have accomplished something that Iraqis had not been able to do in FIFTY years. It took our republic thirteen years before it could stand on its feet and practice its l0aws and constitution. Contrary to the simple minded thinking that this war was fought for OIL, This war is being fought for the future of Democracy, and freedom in Middle east. Years from now, Mr Bush would be admired for his vision and would be celebrated amongst free Arabs and the other population of the world. If we allow the Po0wer hungry Left anf its enablers to0 weaken us and lose thi0s war we are lo0sing the freedo0m of every Human being on this planet.

I know, I do know, it iws much easier, to read NY times, and listen to0 CNN, and agree with their biast banters. Remember if it was up to them the Berlin Wall would still be there,and Rusiia still wo0uld have ruled most of Eastern Europe, for these Naysayers never have 0a solution and can only spew hate on anything American. Wars are difficult, making hard decisions is not for every men, the history chooses the right men for the right times, and the best solutions are always the least popular ones. It would have been politicaly safe, very safe for W to take the easy road, dropp a few bombs, indicte saddam in world court, and sit pretty, but contrary to the menial, avargae,mediocare lives we are happy to live, they are men who have a bigger missions in life and History correctly would call on these men in times like this.

The press here has never had anything positive to0 write about Iraq, the schools that are opened the hospital0s that are working, the whole underlaying constructions of electricity, water and o0ther supplies that are being built, they had even the o0disity of not even celebrating the Elections in Iraq, and Afghanistan. they 0are 0devious in their visions, and what sells their papers is only showcasing the negatives, and they are so0 involved within their own elitist banters, confirming each other that they have no view of real lives that o0thers live. We can never do right by them, so lets leave them to their own OP Eds, and coctail parties, we know where we are going.

So as I say to my wining kids I do say to them; We get there when we get there, I am incharge here, I drive this car, and contrary to you opinion I know where I am going.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:09 AM | Comments (0)

where would we go from here

Wow, the fact that all of you, SL, Inasy, Fereydoon, and Cyrus, have written longer than usuall comments about my prropostition, shows that there is an interest and value to what I have proposed amongst you. so, where do we go from here?

I probably did n ot frame my intentions in a right way, by calling it a News Paper, maybe a Soap Box would have been a better metaphor. I have no 0wishes to try to appeal to masses and God know as Cyrus said there are enough out there who do that. I am thinking of a more selective highly intelligent, maybe arisic individualls that can not get their fix amongst the crowd of the site that are out there. We would like to reach people who read more special and unique periodicals and Journals. We will not be binded by any 0special groups,religiously or politically, we want to celebrate mainly Human beings, and o0ffer our takes of our own advantures on this earth for the time we have been allowed. We want to deal with our audiance at much higher level. And I think the diversity o0f the people behind this would help us cover many bases. We could 0deal with every day life and news on the planet also0 but not as a place to report i0t but to editorialise it. We would choose topics, and we also will choose amongst us and editor, who will have the say in the direction or editorials, and the approval of them, and since I am suggesting this I would recuse myself from ever taking that title or responsibility. Also remember we do not have to refresh the site and make addition on daily bases, we could do that weekly or monthly.

Again this is my view, my suggestion, we are discussing it and we need as much feed back as you can offer. I also 00do not think we will do this to the extent that it would take over our daily lives and our other concerns. so let me know, for I am very interested to hear from you, and learn about your vision of this enterprise.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:10 AM | Comments (3)

June 26, 2005

Sunday morning

I tried Cuppocino this morning, the girls at Dunkin Donut were surprised. the bitter taste and the lack of sugar was such wellcoming change, I am still playing KEANE on my CD, and let the windows and the sunroof open as I am Eighty Fiving on Route Ninty five.

We only get to watch and see, as the air moves, winds flee, and life goes on, My shoulders are sore from yesterday, but I am easing within this day, I like the quietness in my heart, and am enjoying the new adventures the places I am going, within my head. Sometimes its the expectations of life that become such motivation for us to go on, someone said, Life is at the best when you are looking for something, anticiapation of it, the wait. That is the reason that people who raise children and allow their life and living become the most important part of their lives, live a better life, nothing is more endearing than watching your kids grow, you never get tired of it, since they will always change and come up with new adventures for you.

Having David stay with us has convinced us both Marjan and I that we grow within the realm of the life our children live. We have been so helpless in knowing his mind, and trying to reach him, we have not grown enough to enjoy the life of a sixteen years old, and the responsibility of having him and watch out for him has been heavy on Marjan's shoulder, since she needs to be the best at every thing she does, and yet she does not know, she is full of doubts and questions. David is very well behaved, a very good kid, involved mostly in Basketball, and Footbal, we do not see him all day, sometimes he shows up for dinner, and Marjan has to pick him up or dropp him at different destination, it has been a pleasure to have him and get a glimpse of what awaits us down the road. But like any other Teen ager, he is very quiet, living in his own world, and Marjan tries very hard to reach him.

Amin has a new obsession being his daddy's son. He is stuck now on Starwars, he also has gotten to enjoy Simpsons. Kiana is growing so fast within her life that is scary, she comes up with such new voccaublary, new style, we share the same taste in music, and in many ways her soul has the same aspirations that mine did. She sees too much, and hears too much, she does not miss anything, she knows where everything is in the house, and has an amazing memory, a social butterfly, with a full scheduall of play dates, Birthday parties, keeping her mother well on her toes, she enjoys the life style that we offer her to the max, always asking for more.

In a way though Amin has become Marjans obsession more than anything, she was brought up with three brothers, and has always been comfortable around men, and watching Amin grow, and making his life as comfortable as ahe can is the first priority for her, I enjoy so much see her loving him, the way she looks at him, caters to him, and once in a while just hugs him and kisses him, her little man who is not as complicated and as impulsive as the other man in her life.

And loving me also comes to her easily, not living with me though, but she is a patient kind and she knows me, she gives me lots of space, as I do for her, and watches over me waiting for my next adventure, my next obsession and I knw now more than ever, she knows well How much I love her. she sees the tortured soul in me, and comforts me, making her my Rock of Gebraltar. and there is also another angle to this, the way we enjoy being together, the intimacy and the safety of it. the way I am when we are alone together, the way she is, and its the allowance of years we have spent together, the rough patches and the blessing of it. she allows me to go, and wellcomes me when I am back, and knowing that she is there as uncomplicatedly loyal and loving allows me more daring in my adventures. Having her in my life more than anything makes me feel special, knowing the guy upstairs has been as is watching over me.

I got positive feed back from Fereydoon about my new proposition , but like any good business man, and the logical part of him wants us to talk about it more. Shrink lady also likes the idea but is not sure if she can contribute to it as much as other, I beg to differ, she has what I have found in Cyrus, Fereydoon, Inasy, and chey, and that is the generosity of spirit, and a thirst to be more, and do more in the life that we all have been offered. I am waiting for Cyrus's approval, although I think he is so blessed and happy in the life he lives with his beloved wife Mahnaz, and the time they spend together is so precious for him that he might not be interested to get involved, but I am sure of the hold of Love and friendshp I have with him that he would help us no matter what. Inasy also married with three children probably would have a difficult time to find the time to help but having her with us in this journey is so crucial that we could not accept her refusal, I think in many ways she has to become our Editor in Chief, since she is so increadably solid in her writing skills and her sense of time, and the mission we all have within our time. Chey should be easier to convince, being single and adventures, the free Gypsy soul that she is, we need her to cover the style and artistic part of our endeaver.

I sincerely think though that the bulk of the work would be on Fereydoons and my shoulders, and God knows, we both have brad shoulders, and we have tasted the freedom of writing and posting, and having our own blogs, and we are still idealistic in our aspirations to give our lives something more than just living it. We ahve talked and dreamt of being more, and we both have this insasiable drive and thirst to excell, to share, and to leave a legacy of the life we have lived. And living hear in this country, with all the allowance that we have recieved we feel obligated to do more.

Yes, yes I am still a dreamer, but it take men like me to set the map, and cnjour the aspirations for new adventures , new boundries, we are the stepstones of Human beings resolve in its search for more, and more and more. this is not said in an egotistic jest but to suggest Dreams are the vision of our tommorows. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 10:24 AM | Comments (4)

June 25, 2005

A new Enterprise

Well when you are forty seven, they are things you should not do, I hit the Gym at Eight O'clock today. I did my forty five minutes Cardio, and then went for the weights. Shawn the sweetest trainer we have in the GYm was also trining by himself, doing shoulders, he is thirty three. I joined him, trying to keep up with him, and soon I knew I was in trouble, but being a Scorpio that I am I love challanges, so for the next hour I lifted some of the heaviest weights I have ever. But I kept up, and by the end of session I knew My arms would never walk again !

I came back to the store, feeling fresh but knowing that I will be soar, so took two advil, and got to the site. My new musical discovery
is a group called KEANE , the lead singers voice is heavenly, thhe songs have more of European tempo to them, the lyrics are wonderfull, so driving down to work today I was getting high on the songs, and with all my windows and the sunroof open it was a trip.

I am having such a good time with the book, thinking about Malcolm and his adventures, he is a good soul, and he is set for such a surprises in his life. I think to some extent he has some of sensibilities and innocence of Amin my son, not that he is based on Amin, you see characters are usually composite of many people you know or have seen in your life. Brian is also based on somebody I knew and was my roomate for a while, Physically he would be exactly like my roomate, but his character again would be based on a composite of many people. Then we have Sophie, which will play a big part in Both Malcolm and Brian's life, and Sara, she also would balance the story with her patience, calm, collected logic and reasoning. But Malcolm which is not based on my character at all would be the Major player, and somehow he has become so dear to me, and he does occupy my thoughts a lot.

You know I have always been a sucker for smart people, nothing to me is sexier than intteligence. I wrote a comment on Ferryis site LIVELIFE yesterday, and there was a line in there that was quite of a Gem, and after writing it I was so taken by it. I was very curios to see if anyone would pick it up for its shrewed, breathless meaning, and FEREYDOON got it. You see what has happened on internet is rather curious, you know how as human we have not learned very well to listen to each other, since I started this site I have noticed that now the same ignarance is getting obvious in the way people read, yes, they rush so fast through the pieces that they do not see everything that is in there, so now, we do not listen well, and we even do not listen to ourselves as we read. Fereydoon showed me that he does listen well, on the internet as well as in life.

Fereydoon is doing such a gangbuster job on his site, the depth and the range of topics he covers is amasing, it shows how he respects and enjoys what he does and how he also respects and enjoys the comments he gets. I also have noticed that we have such a wonderfull friends, and each of them as thoughtfull as they are they are also very diverse in their Talents. I like to make a proposition. I think we should put our efforts together, and create a new Newspaper on line, we have the Talents amongst us to cover many topics. SL is a shrink with wonderfull insights in that world, Inasy an accomplished writer which seems to know a lot about women, and Islam. Fereydoon a business man with a heart of Gold, and such a good observer of the life sarrounding him and also an accomplished writer. Cyrus with his Dry delicious sense of humor, and his own unique vision of life, Chey with her Romantic exuberant sense of life and also a good writer, we could do it, of course we would leave Fereydoon to take care of the financial part, and Cyrus to take care of the technical side. We could all invest in this venture as much as we can financially and emotionally and with this group only sky is the limit, so what do you say, let me know. Remember the site will take care of itself after a while with advertisings that it takes and I have enough traust in Cyrus and Fereydoon as business men to know they can guide us well.

So I like to thank Cyrus again and again for his generous allowance to my life and allowing all these wonderfull adventures to happen, for if it was not for him I would not have met some of the most intteligent, inquisitive, old souls that I have so far. I owe you man, and I owe you big, LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 10:20 AM | Comments (6)

June 24, 2005

Q&A with G&I

G; Its you again, we got to stop meeting like this, people will talk
I; well you know I am obsessive, I see a good thing I gotta go to the end of it
G; Yeah, yeah, I hope you are not recording this
I; Can I ?
G; so what is it ?
I; where is the answer ?
G; when you wanted cookies as a kid where did you go?, to the cookie jar right
I; You mean.....
G; Dont be silly, you find it inside, you want an answer to pain you find it inside it, answer for joys, its inside it, you got to reach that state, and for..... sake calm down, why do you guys want the answer, you want to know about life you gotta live it, you forget the main elements and go after the secondaries.
I; Heaven, Hell
G; I dont know anything about them, you guys created them
I; So no after life,
G; not the way you precieve it, you got to get there then you know
at this state of being what you seek is beyound your comprehension, but after your passage you will now, all I can tell you is that you who rule your life here and after.
I; is it scary
G; not compare to spending a week with Rosie O'Donnel. no it is just different, now that you insist I tell you, the answer for now is to life your life to the fullest you can, and do not worry, worries brinf doubts, and doubts is where the other guy roams. JUst enjoy your life, live
I; can I call on you again
G; always, I am closer than you think.

Posted by Idinraha at 05:32 PM | Comments (0)

Desert, Marjan, AKBAR SHAH, and Hillary

last night I got home, and my beautifull wife Marjan had the dinner already on the table, I kissed my beauties , changed my cloth and sat for Dinner, the food was delicious and the company even better. I hav told you how much I enjoy the little times we get together every now and then. The surprise how ever was the desert. Marjan serves me this delicious desert that I love so much I eat it with my hands. She does not divulge the recipie, and I have been told not to mention the name of it eaither. The experience is so exquisitely joyfull it is almost Carnal, and soon I was on top of the beloved with my fingers, lips, mouth and teeth, and gorged on it to my delight. She served the desert naked with nothing on by a apron, and as much as I was taken by the desert, I could not resist to fantasize while eating. You see at tender age of thirty six my wife has ahieved this certain place in womanhood that makes men droll every where she goes. I would like o report she is more beautifull, physically and emoionally fit that when I met her almost twenty years ago, and what can I tell you, Dinner, desert and Marjan............... some men have all the luck.

After dinner, desert and Marjan, I was joined by Kiana, she loves the new CD of Rob Thomas I have gotten her, she played the music, we went over the Lyrics together, and she also showcased the new dance she has coreographed to go with the music. The evening ended with me going trough the Book, WORLD IS FLAT, while watching the NBA final game.

my Darling friend FEREYDOON, is doing a wonderfull job on his site LIVELIFE, writing about Iran, the political ramification of the election there, and the candidate, check it out. I was also lucky to recieve a call from my Sister who lives in Iran, and I asked her if she has voted, she said yes, and upon my asking she said, lots of people including her did not vote the first time around, but voted again to make sure that Rafsanjani would not be elected. That seemed contrary to the information I had recieved here, claimin that Rafsanjani would recieve the vote so AHMADINEJAD, the other candidate would not get elected. To my surprise, My sister told me that Ahmadinejad who is PHD and teaches in the university has been the critique of the government and would be a better President for Iran. I told her it does not matter who becomes the president, since KHamenei would be the absoloute power any way., She disagreed with me, pointing to Rafsanjani as the Absoloute power in Iran, and told me stories of ho0w He and his sons are stealing everything they can. and Khamenei's power is very limited in comparison. She also0 told me of the sense of helplessnes amongst the public, since there is no rule of law in Iran, and econimically the situation is so bad that Medicine, Antibiotics could cost as much as one million Toman (almost $1200.00 dollars for a bottle. The situation is very desperate, and Rafsanjani has so much power that in Iran they do call him AKBAR SHAH.
and in a recent interview on Iranin TV, he has promised to make changes and gone as far as promissing to give Ten Million Toman to every Iranian once he is elected.

On this side of the Ocean, there is a new book available for sale, written by the same writer that did exposes on Kennedys. The subject of the book is our own thunder thighs Mrs Hillary Rotten Clinton, aka, Evita Peron. of course the book has been criticised by the Liberal press even before it came out. It is g0onaa be such an interesting election on 2008, and I can not wait to see how much lower Clintons would go to get back the power.

Posted by Idinraha at 02:14 PM | Comments (2)

June 23, 2005

LIFE IS GOOD

I took half a day off yesterday, went home about 1 pm, and took my beauties to Mini Golf, half a way trough the course we got showers and we had to go back. We decided to go to the movies, I told the kids since it is my day off I choose the movie, and they accepted, I opted for Batman Begins, I had red good reviews about it and the Director Chris Nolan is a favorite of mine.

The movie is about Two and half hours, and I have to say it is the best Batman movie ever. I also like to say, it is a great movie altogether. Christian Bale fits the role to the T, he is so real, so damaged, and the movie is so real in its aspirations and direction. There is no fantasy here, the Gadgets all have a base in reality which makes them more believable. Amin said later on you only need to go to a Hardware store to become Batman. All the actors are firsty rate, Mostly english actors, except Morgan Freeman, and Katie Holms.
Both Marjan and I enjoyed it immensly, but the kids were not very happy about it.

Fereydoon complained to me that the amount of my rants and poems has decreased in the site. I have been busy these days more with the Book, and I am glad to report that I am half way trough Chapter two. Incidently if any one likes to read the book so far, we have a put a password on it that can be furnished to you upon request.

LIFE IS GOOD, and this summer looks so promising, I have been preoccupied mostly with the direction of the book, and before I sleep or even when I am training I think about it. I enjoy the process immensly and have been able to get Dr B to consult me trough out the whole process, I am very excited about this.

I recieved a call from my mother this morning and we are fine with each other and that also makes me very happy.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)

June 22, 2005

A crying Dick Turban appologises

Well, I guess no rest for the wicked,........ Yesterday My brother surprised me, Hossein is two years younger than me, and we have had our share of ups and downs and sibbling rivlaries. He is so very different than me. Very practical, very idependent, and very logical, he doesnot wear his emotions on his sleeve, and is much more private than me.

We used to go to college together, and he was famous for his looks, (they used tocall him OMAR SHARIFF), and his physical attributions. And for a short time at the beginning of our business life together, when it was only him and I, we worked very well together, him being very conservative and me being ambitious, it was a good chemistry, and of course then everybody else got involved and we lost it. I think in many ways he does not understand many things I do, the motivations behind my doings, but he has respected my wishes and has allowed me my space.

Through out the years, Marjan and I also have watched him and his family and have talked a lot about his dedication to his sons, and he has gained our admiration in how he raised them almost single handedly. He has two Handsome boys that are so well adjusted and respectfull of their father, and so kind and loving to the rest of the family, they diffinitely are a feather in his cap. He has worked tirelessly to protect and rasie his family the best he could.And he is well respected in our family as a good father.

Yesterday he also did me a big favor, that helped me tremoundesly, and as much as his favor helped me, the thought process behind it as he explained it to me took me by surprise, showcasing his growth and maturity as a man he has become. I am greatfull to him, and Marjan and I would not forget his selflesness and generosity, and we will try to make it up to him. Thanks Brother, I owe you a big one.

Well Dick Turban did appologise for his remarks yesterday, and Sl my dear friend does not have to deffend him, since he has accepted that he was wrong. Well I really do not believe that Senator Turban believes he is wrong, but the pressure from the public, his thirst to keep his cushy job, and the reactions that Democratic leaders have gotten to his remarks, made them to twist his arm and app0ologise for his shameless remarks. Maybe what happened to Daschelle, MR NO, the Abstractionist leader of the Democrats in the last congress also made him realise that there would be a price to pay. And I personally think, although Illinoise is a very Democratic state, Senator Turban would not get re-ellected at the next Congressional election. You see give them enough rope and they hang themselves. His remarks in a way does help the Conservative causes by showcasing how the Democrats feel about America, and American military.

Democrats lost the last election because of their weekness, their politics of appeasement, and their ever anomosity toward the American
military. Mr Kerry's treasoness remarks upon his return from Vietnam before the congress, his demonstrations with Hanoi Jane against the war, and trowing his Medalls and ribbons over the gates of White house did him in. American people might disagree with each other in many levels, RED states, or Blue states, but they all have a tremendous lo0ve for this country and the military that has come to rescue and deffend us whenever is needed.

Bolton's nomination was blocked again by the democrats at the vote yesterday, they again did not allow his nomination to come for an Up and Down vote. As ever they are blocking the nomination by name calling and critisizing Bolton for his tough style of the management. I do belive with all the corruption that is going on in UN. We do need a tough negotioter, and not a YES MAN, to clean up that organisation. Senators Dodd, and Biden have asked for more documents from the white house, knowing that these are privilaged information and The Executive privilage would not allow the white house to supply such information. Again is the politics of Abstraction, and name calling that they are practicing, not caring how all this would hurt the nation.

I heared Senator Dodd, this morning asking the governmkent to close the Mitgo Prison and sending the detainees to their birth countries. We are holding these detainees to extract informations from them, the information we get out of them in very necassery to stop further attacks on our soil, and their own countries have refused to recieve them back. At the beginning of this year Two hundreds of these detainees were released and sent back to their original countries and most of them got caught again in battle fields of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Again I would like to bring this fact to your attention, that these are not POWS, and they do not have any goals in life but the destruction af America and its culture. These are Terrorists that if allowed would cut the throats of every American man, woman, or chil with no hesitaion, and are ready to push and pull buttons to explode and destruct anything they can. Democrats 0nly motivation for their acts is to embaress the Bush administration and destroy the American resolve and American soldiers moral through out the world.

Posted by Idinraha at 09:59 AM | Comments (1)

June 21, 2005

Gitmo, and Dick Turban

I guess by now, you all have heard about DICK DURBIN, and his comments, comparing the Gitmo to Nazis concentration camps, and Stalin's Golags, or Pol Pot's Killing fields. Shameless comments,
which has been reported by Algezira trough out the Arab world. You see there are no evidence of such harsh treatments, but By bringing up the subject and making comparisons, they spew their poison, not feeling any shame in who would pay the price for their trechery.

In one of my Rants I had said that Liberla Democrats are the main enemy of America, and everything American, and My friend SL adminished me for that. there is a method to0 their madness, first they write a story about mishandling Quran in a major Magezine, the story proves false and they appologise for it, but the story has taken its own life by now, and then you get Dick Durbin to flame the fires further with these Comments. It is a shame that the prominent Jewish Democrats, like Liberman Of Connecticut, or Schumar of New York, have not asked for an appology for what Durbin has said.

To many extent these Senators count on people's ignorance in furthering their cause. You see these Five hundred Terrorist held in Gitmo, are not POWS, since they do not have any loyalty to any Uniform, flag or a country, and are merely religious fighters. They are regarded as Enemy Combatants, and should be trialed by Military Tribunals. The Geneva Convention rules do not apply to them, and their own countries of Birth have refused to accept them back.

They are living in air conditioned quarters, they are supplied good food, they get calls of AZAN for their prayers, and also supplied with the directions pointing to Mecca for their daily Namaz. And remember we have them here to get informations out of them, and we have been able to do that, and the information taken from them has resulted in saving American lives.

Again the democrats ask for closing of the Gitmo but they do not have any solution for where should we keep these Terrorists. They have also been calls for setting a date for when we live Iraq, there is also politics behind that. Democrats know that as long as we are ina war it would be very difficult for them to get back the presidency and the Power, no matter who runs in either side, and as usuall they do not care what would be the consequence of such an act, they just want the presidency and the power back.

I think in many ways the fact that we have not recieved any terrorist attacks in American lands have spoiled us, and made us forget how ruthless and ignorant the terrosist are to any human conditions. Id they get any openings they will cut all of us to pieces, remember these are people that do not value even their own lives.

It is such a shame that we reach a pont when the enemies of this country are encouraged by our own senators, and are in synch with their opinions.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:04 AM | Comments (8)

June 20, 2005

The woman you loved...., a tender cut

You looked so lost,
I was nervous, holding my hands
In my lap, the taste of my Lipstick
Fresh in my mouth, ther was no going back
We both knew it, after we claim what was ours
and the boyish look in your eyes, waiting to be
halted, stopped, for you knew nothing will
be the same, nothing, ........

I bathed that morning,
brushing my hair I noticed a quiver
in my hands, naked in the mirror, I oiled
my skin, my thighs, my legs, my belly
more foundation on my face, thicker eye lines
In my head I knew how I wanted you, to be your whore
to see yo0ur eyes loving every inch of me, you
would stand by the bed and watch me, and I would smile
arching my back, showing you my needy nipples, to break
you, and bring you to me, your whore, your spread, to
play me, caress me and handle me, cherish me, and devour me
burning me with your breath, teasing me with your teeth, and
tear me in such angles that only you could put me together
at your whim.

--But you cried, as I held you, taken inside
all of you, the anticipations, the longings, the hurts
as you grow inside me, the severity of your urges, the way
you wanted me, growing inside me, tearing me like a tender cut,
an injury, and then you cried, and I felt the hush of the woods
and then the birds flew all ot once, over the trees, coveing the sky
like a black plague, like death, so sudden, and so deserving
so necassery and so right.

Posted by Idinraha at 04:13 PM | Comments (4)

Submission !

Last night After dinner, I was feeling tired, and spent, no energy, found my way upastairs, and soon my delicious companion Kiana was laying down next to me holding me. We talked a bit, she was tired too, it was only 7 pm, but we both fell sleep, I was up around 3 am, Holding Amin on one side, and Kiana on the other. We have a guest these days, Amir, Julia, Micheal, and Steven have left for Italy for Ten days, And David could not go, so he is staying with us. He took over Amin's room, so Amin and Kiana are sleeping with me, and Marjan sleeps over Kiana's room.

Akram and My father in law were over for Dinner, and David joined us a bit later. I get so much pleasure out of Holding my two beauties and falling sleep with them. Amin fills my arms so well, he is growing, almost the same height as Marjan. I got up at # am, went down stairs, had some fruits, watched TV a bit, and then by 5 am was back up and slept till 7;30, that is lots of rest for me, almost ten hours, I guess everything that has happened in the last two weeks is catching up with me.

On the way to the Gym, I put on my Rob Thomas's new CD, the first song is very good, kinda head banging, tapping your feet good, -THIS IS HOW THE HEART BREAKS, and the second song, I DONT WANNA BE LONELY NO MORE, is also wonderfull, so, I opened all the windows of the car, and the sunroof, and made my way to the Gym singing and dancing. Yesterday, I got a new pair of Pyjamas in light Blue, a Mouse pad handcrafted and designed by my Kiana, three wonderfull cards, and we all went for Breakfast. Happy Fathers day to me.

Today there are a few lose ends I got to take care of , a few customers, and then I might even take a walk down the beach, Fereydoon had made comments on My usage of the word Submision, well, it's my new thing, my new find, another door, as I search as always for more, I think conflicts brings agression, and aggression brings sadness, I like submission, of course, in dealing with matters bigger than us. I also like Faith, believing, I like closeness, and transparent, well some of my favorite words, but these days, Submission rules, that should make Fafar happy.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)

June 18, 2005

for Demons to go away

I have chewd my skin, in its dry patches and in its heaving corners, she says, I feel too, much, and I say, I beg to differ, I need more, I need it all within all the surfaces, I dream of butterflys and birds, I dream of their flights, and the sky is so clear , the sky in so boundless, where do we go from here.

I have cleaned the floors, dusted all the surfaces, broke the glass windows, and asked them to go away, the doors are open, and I feel so very safe, within me , within this habitat, this configaration of woods and beams, of bricks and metals, I need another posion another trip another seeing, I need to know, and I think I could handle all I will recieve.

The waters are calm, the waves ahave subsided, as I flow on the surfaces of the water, and know of the depth of it, of all that lives beath me, and I have no fear, the sky is calm, and the weather soothing, and I have submitted myself in form in breath, all and all to this

I walked in the house and she throw the ORANGE BALL AT ME, AND THEN SHE HUGGED ME, my mother, so soft in her flesh, and the smell of her cooking in her neck and her dress, I wish she held me there, right there, for a quiet ever, the ball bounced to the corner of the room, and she let go of me............

she say I am shameless and all I do is for attention, I beg to differ, I have seen the truth, and it does not measure within the boundries of your little head, and you do not know, and I cant not offer you anything but my silence, i am too tired to explain, too too
tired, and words are suck crooked little tools, the little teeth that can not bite, and can not hold, so allow me my reality, my life. I do not need the attention of the ones that can not recieve the jest of my purges, and if I soil their sensibilities, there are other doors, I never insisted, I never try to explain, I do not need to, and I do not need you.

Paper tigers, and plastic chains, allow me my advantures, for I am kind to trespasses, but I do not have time to explain, and I will allow you your flight, I will close my eyes, I will not utter words to your denial, I will not, this is where I plant my seeds, this is my land, my native land, and these are my bretherns, and what brings them here, is the seed, and the promise of growth, the tilt of my vision, and my brazen colors, the ugliness of my gestures, and the hues of my shame, and You are crowding me, you make me ache for another breath, it is your filth, your shame, your intentions, your demented vision, your ghosts, your nightmares, the way you precieve the way you mirror my intentions and my judgements, not mine, please just go away.

Allow me my choices, my demons, allow me the rest of my Sunday mornings within my house, allow me my dreams, and if only if I allowed you to stay , please, for Gods sake, shut your motuh, and listen, this is not your audiance this is not your prayer, I do not belong to you, I have never belonged to anyone, only the hands I hold, the cheeks I kiss , the ones I want.

Take your ropes, and your relations, let me breathe, and dont let the door hits you as you exit, I have had enough of you, just go away

Posted by Idinraha at 06:01 PM | Comments (0)

submission and flow in consciousness.

I; You are unbelievable, how do you do this
G; Hum, It's my pleasure, it always is, I have the patent to it.
I; so, where do we go from here
G; It's your choice, I will be watching you
I; You do more than watching, a regular peeping Tom I would say
G: Well I have to, somebody has to
I: What do you have in store for me,
G; I don't, I just wind you, then you go, you know there are times,
many times that you surprise me, I close my eyes, well and try not to be aware of you, try not know and then it is such pleasure to watch you struggle with your choices, but you are okay.
I; Oh, so I supply you with entertainment, like those Reality Shows on TV,
G; There is nothing Real about them, I don't watch them, but Desperate Housewives, that's another story.
I; Marjan hates that show, I never watch it, she had so much trouble
with that word, DESPERATE.
G; I know it is demeaning to her, I can understand.
I; What is gonna happen in Iraq, are we on the right path
G; Gee I do not know, I guess we will see, I try not to dewell on everything, remember surprises is good, if I arrange everything there would be no fun. I set the basic laws within basic parameters, the rest is up to you guys.
I; What about all the death, soldiers, ordinary people
G; that is a tough territory to explain, I guess I could say it comes only and only to Choices, you might not understand how much FREE WILL is involved. FREE WILL has been one of my favorite terms, or I could say stages of living, I am so proud of that one.
I; heh, so ....... all this religions, prayers, Martyrs
G; Deviations my friend, you guys created them, and it has been very amusing to me how you have come up with them, and how they have had such staying powers. It is one of your oldest creations, it is dependency, but I had thought by now you would have gotten over it. but you will, it is on its way out, you will find consciousness, and once you do, things would become simpler.
I; Where is the answer?
G; There is no answer, its a flow, you have to learn the balance, you have to learn submission, grow within your instincts, if there is an answer, its here whitin everything you see, within you.
I; Oh, thank for the tip
G; Any time, any time.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:19 AM | Comments (2)

June 17, 2005

Reach of surfaces in Death

To know and accept
the day for what it brings,
the stand of the objects, the
movement of time, the allowance of
Our presence, the quietness of this stare,
this seeing, of how life places us where we should be
where we fit the space we occupy, and the thrill
Of submission, laying on surfaces that take us
as we breathe the air we are allowed, in
anticipation of our senses, the
expectations

As the cobble stones turn,
rolling in river beds, and this
mercurial weight, this vessel takes
flights to unknowns, where the sky is
no more, and the Earth is flattened, extended
not in curves,and repetitions, but to an end
to far out look of where we have come, and traces
of our trespass, to add up the past, and clear the
present, as submission hold helpless, and the
liquidity of water brings us to the surface
raising beyond its measure, its element
for the wheels round seamless and world
flattens, no curves, no rounding
of clocks, no time, just the
presence and blessings
of an end

Posted by Idinraha at 03:15 PM | Comments (7)

Submission

the river runs in the river bed, sometimes over flows, and brings the seeds that suttle in the soft nourishing river sides, yes we are evolving within the surfaces, moving in different layers of consciousness, and it has been a few days that I have been calm, actually it came to me after I wrote the poem, REACH OF SURFACES IN DEATH, it is a quiet piece, and in many ways soothing to me, once you accpet the pain, it is not your [ain any more, you find pressure in denying, stress in ignorance, so accept the pain. Once you accept dying as a part of life, as the mission of life , as a passage, then you live, no fear, no denial.

It seems I am elevated not much maube a tenth of milimeter from the ground, movements come easier, and gravity has subsided, its flowing with the spaces of the onjects and beings, within the pattern that you should, no conflict, no, no conflict, just rays of the sun, rests and solace of the nights, smiles, and clarity of happiness, it is not a dream it is reality at its most glaring lights, its kind severity, and it is the acceptance that becomes the answer, the submission, being in tune with your sarrounding moving in harmony, every step, dance like, soft shoe, cleverly quiet. and the trust of this submission, this Death that allows you life and living, this passage. Words are such little crooked tools when it comes to the vast fields of emotions and senses, think, naked, think bare, think, peace, no worries, the first clarity of the morning when thoughts are still undoene and left, and there is nothing in you but the essence of your life, your animal self, with nothoughts no worries. It the the moment of climax, the eplosions of nerve headings in clear blasts and fusions, it is bliss.

Allowing life totake you where it may, floating, hel[plessly happy, as the earth moves within its design for another day, night, just to be a part of it, a quiet , happy growth reaching for the sun........

I have recieved encouraging words from a good friend, and also my mentor, Dr B, she finds the story interesting the diolouges fine, and that takes me, I had already drawn in my head where I am going, the new carachters, the theme, the plot, and all, just have to put it in sequences and let it rip. INASY also had so many good words, and advices for me, so generous of her, I am in debt to both of them. only if you knew the satisfaction this gaurants me, only if you knew.
LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 02:47 PM | Comments (0)

June 15, 2005

Comfort of strangers

I know Cyrus does not like it, he has told me, when I write about my problems with my family. It might make some of you uncomfortable too, I am sorry, but this is my way of getting get off of me. The whole idea behind writing these pages was to have a place to gather my poetry, showcasing them, but it has come to be more than that. My Rants in many ways have become more important, at least to me, to be able to vent off, and open the scabs, allowing it some air, some healing.

It has turned off my sister, my brother Hossein was objecting to me saying as much as I do, but I told him, that I treat every one here with as much respect as I can. If I showcase any shortcomings by anyone, I also tell you the culture that has been the culprit of making them the way they are. I also tell you that warts and all I am happy about how I have turned out, and would not change anything in my life. Robert Bly, in his book "The Iron Man", write, that it is our wounds that makes us who we are, and we become so much better because of our wounds. Our damage becomes our treasure, for they bring us where we are. I believe in that

I have always believed that JUDAS was the victum, not Jesus. And he in some ways has made Jesus the figure he is. I have never believed in society of victumhood, and has never viewd myself as a victum. I am the product of a society i was born in, and the upbrining I have had, and in many ways I am an okay person, and comfortable with it.
I tell you a lot of the blessings I have, and how I appricite them.
I share with you my joy and my pain, leaving you traces, and if what I do helps anyone as much it helps me, my job is done. But more than anything this is the story of my life, and if it turns you off you are not obligated to read, you come here of your own free will, and I am not forced to you. You also have a choice if you come here, to read what yo0u want, poetry, the boo0k I started, and the Rants that you like.

You also have come to be a blessing to me with your comments, all of you, I learn so much from you, and Iam in debt to you for it. Cyrus's dry humor, and his own special view of the world, the way he sees things and as much as he shares with me, Fereydoon's sensebilities, and his angles , his vision, I have learned a lot from him, and the diversity the differences amongst the three of us all coming from the same culture, but brought us in different families, and how that has made us all such different personalities. Shrink Ladies comprehensive remedies, and views, her matter of fact, factual sensibilities, Chey's own romantic ways, Inasy's pesise and soo0thing words, and all the rest who add so much, this is all such an allowance to me and my life.

There is no intention or a definite agendas in writing these pages. I come here every morning and just write , the way I see it. I wellcome all the different views I recieve, Political and social, and pride myself that I have never edited, or deleted anything even when they were different views that mine. I celebrate those differences since I know how fragile, and how one sided, how biast, and narrow my views could be. So take me as I am, Guide me as you would, tell me and I listen, and bear with me, you are wellcomed here, you are aware of the fact the time you spent here could be spend else where since God kno0ws we can find anything we want on the internet. and thanks, many thanks.

Posted by Idinraha at 11:36 AM | Comments (3)

Where did you buy this bed ?

Our bedroom is very open to outside, a large walk out window takes you out to a balcony at the side of the house, there is lagre sky light on the cieling, and two windows, on the back side wall, the bed is set in an angle somehow cutting the room in the middle. The walls are painted in beautifull Pumpkin skin color, and the bed quilt is in darker tones of Ginger, green, decorated with multi color beads, and velvet,
we sleep on a king size bed, it is comfortable, but I miss the closeness of our old Quenn size bed, it was easier for me to reach Marjan, and she selpt closer. the bed itself is very simple in soft wood color, the head board is ornated by metal circles and designs in
the midlle, the wood on it looks old and distressed.

I love laying down in our bedroom, looking out from the large side window, while Marjan sits close to me, reading, as we talk, it is our space, where we can close the door, leave outside, way out, feel safe in our togetherness, and enjoy quiet converstaions, the way married people do. we stay closer when it is not safe outside, when one of us feels vounerable, and needs the safety of of the other one, when life through us a big one, and we need counsel. There is no pretenses her, no covers, we share our truth, our life, and we talk. If I come from work and she sees the discomfort in me, she summons me up, and brushes it away, and I do the same for her.

Looking outside the window last night at dawn, when colors fleet and the sky subtles in grays, contrasting the darker shades of the trees, and winds dance amongst the leaves, I see faces that come through the lines that leafs depict against the gray sky, I see shapes, and faces, they come and go, mirroring me inside, my hopes and fears, my life, and as we talk, I watch, and little by little I lose the scene outside as the night befalls, and leaves us.

Last night we asked Kiana to allow us some time togther, " What are you gonna do? " she asked, " and how long you need", she continued, "well, we just want to be together, you know married people need to be together time to time", Marjan answered. Kiana agreed, and we almost had an hour together, wich is a nice allowance, and privilage. Afterward, upon Marjan leaving the room, Kiana came in to claim her place next to her daddy. We talked, sang, played silly, and before you know it Amin was up there too. So I made room for him, hoding him next to me. This was exactly what the doctor had ordered, unconditional love, to have it and allow it to wash over me, listening to them, their voices, their requests, singing, being silly, and leaving the day way out, way way out. " your bed is so comfy daddy", Kiana said." where did you buy it", she asked, " its not the bed my love that is comfy, it is just an ordinary bed like many others, its the love we all recieve here that makes it comfy", I answered. " you think I could get a bed like this when I grow up", she asked again. " Oh you will my sweetness, you sure will", I said.

Marjan got Amin to his bed, and I laid on the floor of the kiana's room next to her untill she found sleep, holding on to me. I found Marjan later on down stairs, we watched a little TV, she went to bed, and I watched basketball finals, before I went upstais.LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 09:58 AM | Comments (0)

June 14, 2005

ShirZan (lionesses) on the prawl

Fereydoon has a rant on his site LiveLife, about the Iranian women's
demonstrations for EQUAL RIGHTS in Iran, look it up.

Posted by Idinraha at 03:48 PM | Comments (0)

He 's BAD

Wow, Justice for sale, Micheal Jackson now is in good company, OJ Simpson, Robert Blacke, they were all aquitted by the jurry of their peers. Buying their freedom and Justice in Millions they p0aid to their skillful Layers. So this is the rule now, only and if only you are a celebrity, and you can afford it, and if you move to California, you have the freedom of Killing your wife, and Molessting children, so be carefull makes sure you have the right kind of Money, and you reside swomewhere in Lala land, and then do as you please.

In American Justice system, the best anywhere, the bar is set way high, P0ROVEN GUILTY BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT. So you need to convince only one memeber of Jurry that you are not guilty and you will have your way.

I personally never thought Micheal Jackson was guilty, or as guilty. and of course the carachter of the family that broght suite was so damaged by the end of the trial that they seemed to be mo0re of Partners in crimes, and buncha Gold diggers. Shame on them, as I said before if you allow your kid to p0al around with MJ, you are more guilty than him. And the funny thing is Mr Jackson can not be touched again buy law. and his fleeting fame and popularity has gain such momentum that he will be selling ten folds in albums and his income from Concert sales will definitely increases. You see this is a society of victomhood, we celebrate deviations in any form, remember Paris Hilton, her notriority has profited her, she had a series, her modeling career is as hot, she is in advertising almost naked on network Tv.

Mr Jackson could not get so much publicity, even if he sold his entire holdings and paid for it, and he is shrewd enough to know it and he would milk it as far as he can. He has already set concert dates in Europe, and Japan. Viva Capitalism. there will be Interviews, books, Movie of the week, T shirts, concerts, and money made from all this, and we will all prosper for it.

Well maybe now we could all go back, try to find a solution for Social Security, War in Iraq, Middle East, GM's bottom line, the supreme court Judges, and on and one, but we better do it quick before another celebrity gets bored with his or her wife, or need more publicity.

I hope you noticed how the ever appourtunist Mr, Jessie Jackson, took over the media lines, with his ever pointing fingers to the race problems, in case the jurry found for plaintive. In a way I am sure his rhetorics had some effects, and he will be paid handsomely by the Jackson family. Anyway the justice was served, and he was found NOT GUILTY, by the jurry of his peers, and he can take that to the bank.

Posted by Idinraha at 09:42 AM | Comments (2)

June 13, 2005

Monday afternoon

We still have no air condition in the store, it is very hot here, and any unneeded movement would result in huffing and puffing, and sweating. so we stay put in front of the fans we have.

Saturday night we all went to Kiana's dance recital, it was held in my old school. We have been going to this recital for the last five years, so many of the Dancers are very familiar to us and we have seen them grow physically, and getting skilful in the dances they do.
There is lots of comedy on stage, specially when three, and four years old dancer try to follow each other, and the mistakes they do are hillarious. the older ones are much more accomplished, and the show tunes they were dancing to were wonderfull. Kiana did a great job at any moment whe was on the stage she was smoother and more skilful than others in her movements, she is a natural.

The last number they had was from the show CATS, it was a long number with great dances which I enjoyed immensely. Julia, Steven, Akram, Tara and Miraneh also had joined us. After they left, steven stayed with us and we went to dinner. Kiana still exited from the recital showed off some of her dance moves to the people in the restaurant to our delight. Steven stayed over night and when I left the house on Sunday morning the three of them were already swimming in the pool and their Breakfast was catered to them by the pool site by my ever gracious wife Marjan. What a life.

Sunday afternoon I joined Marjan and the kids at Kamran (my brother in law, Miraneh's husband), I felt much better, but I feel a bit out of balance, there is a quietness in me, I was so sedated, so quite. over there, I did not feel like eating anything. everybody was there, but I felt seprated and lonely and it showed, I was not as Bombastik as I usually am, talking and teasing every one. and I was tired, so I went to the living room, it was empty, I put a pillow on the floor and tried to take a nap, I was thinking about my new mood, Marjan was a bit alarmed, and had asked me what was going on with me, I had told her that it is the medication, but I know better.

My mother has been calling me, she is adamant that i should make peace with my father, and get back to the bi-weekly family gatherings. She has called three times so far, and she is persistant, that is one of my mothers trade mark, she gets what she wants. I am not rerady for it, I would not be able to bear it, not emotionaly, not physically, and of course she has a much simpler view of the whole thing. "YOUR FATHER IS TOO OLD, IF HE DIES YOU WOULD NEVER FO0RGIVE YOURSELF, I AM TELLING YOU THIS FOR YOUR OWN SAKE."
It is amazing that at the tender age of FOURTY SEVEN, I still do not know what is 0good for me, at least that is what she thinks. And of course non of this is my doing, it is all Marjan's fault.

I want and I need to stay away. I needed this at the age SEVENTEEN, when I came all the way to America, to stay away, to search and find myself, only me, outside of all the obligations and chains. I guess this was hard for them to understand then, and still is. I tried again at NINETEEN, but she said, IF YOU DO NOT HELP YOUR FATHER AND BROTHERS YOU WILL FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT, I KNOW YOU BETTER. At Twenty one, she said,IF YOU DONT GO BACK TO THE BUSINESS AND THEY FAIL YOU WILL FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT, THEY NEED YOU, AND YOU NEED THEM.

And I do blame myself, for not standing up for me, for not being brave and daring, for depending on them as much as they depended on me, for not finding my own way, and living my own life. I should have been better, I should had known, but she said, and she said, and she said.

I even thought of calling my friend Debbie and aske her, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME AFTER HE DIES, HOW WOULD I FEEL , WOULD I GO TO PIECES, WOULD I. You see I have been conditioned to be good, to try harder, to accept and to feel guilty. WHATEVER YOU DO TO HIM YOUR SON WILL DO TO YOU. But I have not done to my son what he has and is doing to me, he is a different person than I am, I am a different person than my father is, so what gives. And you know I would be a lucky man if my son does to me what I have done to my father.

Well, I am still being reached, I am still being manipulated, I told my mother, she is wellcomed to see my kids any time at our house, I even would love to take her out for dinner with the kids, but she only wants them on her own term. The way my dad did, YOU CAN ONLY GET THE RICHES OF LIFE IF YOU WORK TOGETHER. But Dad, IT DOES NOT WORK, WE ARE SO DIFFERENT, WE CANT. Well it took us fifteen years of our lives, fighting each other, destroying a business, and wasting Millions of dollars, with him losing the most, before he accepted it.

You know I have even thought about moving from this state, yes I have, and I don't know it might get to that. LIFE IS GOOD.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:56 PM | Comments (4)

June 11, 2005

Just another day

Staurday morning, I woke up late, still feeling like an eighty years old man, but I am feeling better, I took my last Z pill, 2000 mg of Tylenol, shower, and got to work by ten thirty. It is cooler today than yesterday, I have to survivie the day, and by 6pm, I have to show up for Kiana's dance recital. This year is held at my old school, Sacred Heart University, it would be fun to see the old school.

Howard Dean is sitll the hot topic amongst the talking heads on the Radio and TV. Some think that his representaion of the left side of DNC would make Hillary look more viable, and moderate, getting her the nomination easier. Clintons have shown their skill in achieving what ever they want in American political scenes, but somehow I do not think she would even get the nomination of her party, she got lots of baggage, she comes frpm another North East state, and she is a senator. she also lacks the charm and bravado of her husband. well I guess we will see.

Republicans got their three Judges approved, Judge Pryor was approved by the senate. and next week they would get around Bolton and his nomination. We do need a no nonsense kind of guy like Bolton to clean up the UN. Republicans have the vote already and he will be approved.
There has been an out cry from the left to close Guantanamo bay Prison, Championed by Biden, and Pillosi, and an article in NY times by Thomas Friedman has also supported such a move. And as usuall they do not have any answers that where should these priconers end up. Although most of the retainees are ENEMY COMBATANTS, WITH NO HOLD TO ANY COUNTRIES, and they are not aligible to be treated under Geneva Laws, American government has given them such rights, and even the right to counsel. The individuall prisoners's countries do not want them back. We definitely do not want them on American Soil, and Democrats do not have any solutions for this either. There is about 500 of them and I think America has been more generous than it should have been with these terrorists, and they should be left where they are.

To large extent what has kept us safe here in America has been the war in Iraq, and the Patriot Act. Patriot Act has been under fire by the left and parts of it is coming to be renewed by the end of this year. It should be renewed and approved permanently, our safety here in our counrty, in our homes, the safety of our kids, and our lives should be the number one priority for any president and the American Government. Let us make sure that Petriot Act is approved.

I think the approval of George W Bushes's Judges, on the Federal Bench, and the two new vacancies that seems to be created by the end of this year on the supreme Court, allowing at least two more of Bushes's judges the aossisiate justice positions on the Supreme court would tilt the country a bit further toward conservatism, and give the George W Bush's legacy the merit it deserves. he has come to the political scene at the right time of the History and History will remember him well for it.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:34 PM | Comments (3)

June 10, 2005

why you don't want no one to know

Well, Friday is here, somehow Friday is not a very recognisable day, very memorable, since the thrill and the wonder of the weekend takes over, and Friday becomes the Tuesday child.

Last night my darling son got graduated from sixth grade, I guess that is the reason he is growing like weeds, getting bigger, stronger for challanges ahead. He makes us worry by his innocent, by the goodness in him, by his patience, living in his own world, the way his daddy used to. As parents, you know what is lurking outside and you want your child to be ready for it, but I also know that I would not fight his battles, he would come across his own challanges and he would get aroun d them by himself. You see I do feel as innocent and lost as he seems to us sometimes, he does walk on solid ground, there is a confidence in him, way down, a kind of confidence my little girl does not have. in spite of all her bravado, and brohaha, Kiana is more fragile than Amin. Marjan dressed in a fantastic Green almost deco dress looked delicious last night, I wore my navy suite and the blue shirt with black stripes, no tie, and I know if I look good Marjan would look smitten by me, and last night I looked good. They sang, they said goodby to their teachers, it was nice and warm, I feel I owe so much to all those teachers, they do so much, and they are so underpaid for all they do.

Kiana through a fit, since she could not go, the siblings were not invited, but she would not have any of it, crying"it is not fair", "why cant I go", " I will miss you daddy", that girl knows how to reach me, and to get me, but to noavail, she stayed with Akram, and we picked her up around ten o'clock.

I am giving lots of thoughts about the style of my writing, I think I need more intimacy in my poems, and I know once I learn how to project that, once I learn the ropes, I will be there. so I am searching in my head, in the poems I read by other poets, and in my work, it is good to be on alert, to be thirsty and to ask for more, wanting is good, hoping is good, and learning, there is such a pleasure in learning. I still kick myself why I did not take the less travelled route, getting my Phd, teaching in a college somewhere, that would have been my life, but if I persued it, i would have never
met Marjan, Amin, and Kiana, and heck nothing is worth that, so SHUT UP MISTER. That I will, at least for now. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 10:42 AM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2005

A very smart Iraqi girl with beautifull eyes

She seems to know and appriciate Mr Bush, since she is wearing his picture around her neck, some guys have all the luck.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:59 AM | Comments (0)

Chairman Dean Strikes Again HEEHAW

Well, well, well, Politic is funny and god knows it brings mo0re entertaiment to all of us than old Hollywood all together. Howard Dean, the newly elected chaiorman of DNC, has a tendency and inclination to put his foot in his mouth and he has done it again, he is such a blessing, a gift that gives and gives again, to all conservative, his recent words of wosdom, " Republicans are basically all the same, they are all white christians", WOW, the policy of inclusion, the big tent and all of that, all aside. Chairman Dean has ignored the fact that 53% of all white Christians vote for democrats, and only 47% vote republican, that 18% of African Americans also vote Republican, and 33% of Hispanics have voted republican also.

The percentage of African American's support for republican has gone up 7% since the prior election, and the same also is true of Hispanics, the reason mostly due to these minorities being more God fearing, right leaning than white christians, and the raise of prosperity amongst these minorities also has made them more supportive of republican Tax Policies. Chairman Dean also recently has announced that Democrats do take Black vote for gauranted and do not work as hard as republicans to attract them to their party, and on another occasion, also has called all Rebulican dishonest. His words of Wisdom, brought lots of other ranking democrats to the front of Tv cameras denouncing Mr Dean's words of wisdom and disasossiating themselves fro0m him, Joe Biden, and Nancy Bellosi were the first to begin the process.

And Mr Dean arranged all this on the day that senate approved the nomination of Janice Rogers Brown, to the DC Federal court, well she being Black, and a daughter of a shearcropper, who put herself through the law school, and raised her kids by herself, and now probably the front runner for any future vacancy on the court. It could not have been more Ironic, and so very delicious for all of us white christian Republicans. Mr Bush has been so consistant in attracting minorities to the Republican party, by nominating qualified Hispanic, Blacks, and female judges to the bench which would provide, not Liberal activist judges bent on legistlating from the bench, but moderate sensible judges who get to interpret the consitution rather than making a new one.

Well, Democrats like the white haired, red face Kenedy, the lost in space Mr Gore, the elitist Kerry, and now our arrogant know it all Mr Dean have done so much for the progress of the conservative causes by showing their real colors, that we should frame their pictures in the halls of our republican party head quarters, and say a prayer so they live longer, and get ellected again and again, since republicans have never had friends that give us so much and keep giving. And lets not forget our beloved Evita Peron, Mrs Hillary Rotten Clinton, although she is turning so hard to the middle, that getting through the primaries for the Demo0cratic Party might not be as easy for her any more, specially with our Mischivous, deliciously arrogant mr Dean as the chairman of DNC. God I can not wait for the 2008 primaries and the election. PILOITICS IS FUNNY.

Posted by Idinraha at 10:08 AM | Comments (0)

Over medicated

well, 400 mg of advil, first thing in the moning, another Zitromax, and its "show time", the throat is still sore, the fever still here, walking around the house like an old man, this morning Marjan asked me if I am okay, I just looked at her, did not know how to answer that, I guess it will takes its course, and while I am being medicated, I am enjoying the calmness of my moves, there is a certain clarity in my head, like I can hear myself better(Oyway), or think more clear, I do feel more present here, maybe its my fatalistic side, that gets calmed down as long as something is wrong with me, no UNDER TOW, same urges which make me feel better if my car has a dent on one side, and I rather not fix it, shiny perfect things scare me, its walking the fine line, but as long as I am sick everything will be allright.

I had to buy Kiana her chocolate milk before I come to work, she wanted bagel with creme cheese too, loving her is such a pleasure, she rewards you every time, by her recognition, by her gestures, by her wonder, I also tried an Ice coffee this morning, actually not bad, not bad at all, the coldness of it allows you to taste the milk, the coffee, and the nutty flavor even seprately, so it was all tingles in my mouth, and my tongue was very happy delivering new tastes to me. driving to work, as you know I like familiar territories, so Dido again, no it is not the only CD I have in the car, I have at least five others, Norah Jones,....... but these days and for a number of days lately, DIDo has been delivering the right sound to me, and the lyrics, okay I will stop, no more praising Dido. It is like praising Cyrus, I enjoy the praising so I do it regularly, wondering if anybody else enjoy, not Cyrus, but Dido as much as I do.

Anyway, driving down here, I was listening to the music with the sunroof open, the windows open the air rushing in, and an amasing calmness all around and about me, certain happiness, satisfaction, so I asked myself, if I had a chance to live my life again would I do anything different?, one of my friends asked me that question once walking half drunk in streets of Manhathan. I answered him the same way, NO, there would be no need, and if I had the chance I probably do it the same exact way, maybe I will be kinder to those I love, but I would not change other's treatment of me. would you ?

We all do make mistakes, and we all have failliers in life, but those mistakes and failliers are as much yours as your victories and successes, and in many ways they are responsible and the base of how you have come to this point, so you get to claim them, accept them, take responsibility for them, and they become yours, the foot prints, the map of your life, a little left turn here maybe, a little right there, your deviations, your choices, and they are okay.

well another 2000mg of Tylenol, would set the day in the right direction; Are you getting enough hugs theses days, I mean bear hugs, long hugs, has her or his lips melted in your mouth lately, making you wanting more, are you as thrilled as me watching women in summer dresses, do you sometime allow yourself to ache for someone or something, have stayed up all night with the beloved talking, watching the sunrise, any walks by the beach, have been scared lately, allowing your heart to pump faster, when was the last time or have you ever went skinny dipping with strangers, are you getting enough love in your life, are you giving enough love to others around you, are you missing any one, or do you think there are people out there missing you. when was the last time you stayed naked in front of the mirror, are you getting enough orgasems in your life, are you lonely, are you happy, did she leave you, or you left her, do you remember the first time you made love, do you remember his or her name,DO YOU?
DOES LIFE STILL THRILL YOU, ARE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE. do you let the ice cream drip on your chin, when was the last time you ate with your hands, do you enjoy Oral sex, do you know your body, do you know hers, or his body, do you still hum , and a certain happiness finds you when that song plays on the radio, have you swam far away from the shore, or take a walk in the woods, would you risk everything for that perfect stranger that has known you and been looking for you, the silent one, that comes and takes you away for an afternoon some where outside your zone. Are you getting what you want or getting what you need is good enough.

Do you think I am over medicated and would this rant ever end. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 08:45 AM | Comments (3)

June 08, 2005

Young Iraqi girls

Now there is a future even for girls in Iraq

Posted by Idinraha at 03:21 PM | Comments (0)

The Girl on the bridge

I do enjoy European Movies. They are much more intimate than the American ones, they are more poetic, and in many respect less graphic. They used lots of CLOSE-UPS, and that brings you in, makes you feel closer to the subject. They also treat sex in the movies very differently, it is actually more discreat and sesuall. One of the most erotic scenes I have seen in a movie, was a scene with Bridgite Bordot, washing her priest cousins hands in the sink, standing behind him, and two pair of hands flowing in running water, I also have an American favorite, one that goes way back, and we do get to watch it every christmass, the movie, ITS A WONDERFULL LIFE, the scence, where James Stewart, and his sweet heart Donna Reed, are standing very close trying to listen and talk on the phone together, it is a fabolous scene, check it out next christmass.

I watched -The Girl On the Bridge yesterday, its a fine movie, lyrical, and very intimate, if you come across it, rent it and watch
it. I think American Movies try to reach that level of intimacy and closeness with their Independent Movies, MIRIMAX was a pioneer in independent movies, and WEINSTEIN BROTHERS, made a ton of money doing it, but recently they lost their way, and after DISNEY bought the compony, it got ride of them two. Harvey Winstein lives here and we do see him around the town, with his blonde wife and blonde kids and usually a black nanny.

Breakfast at Tiffany, is one of my favorite movies, based on Truman Capotte book, with the ever elegant Ms Audry Hepburn, and George Peppard, as the aspiring actor.and of course Mansini's Music, and the song, MOON RIVER. whenever I catch it on the tube I sit and watch, I also love, Accidental TOURIST, one of the most under rated movies of all time, and William Hurts acting probably the best I have ever seen , so subtle, and penetrating, one of the best acting of all time, next to F.MURRY ABRAHAM's in the AMADEUS. Accidental Tourist, is so seamless, so lyrical, the way the movie rolls, every scene, every shot, and William Hurts haunting face, his movement, the way he seems so indifferent to every thing that has happened to him, so damaged, and how he finds his salvation, makes me ache every time I see it.

As i told you last night somewhere between sleep and consciousness I figured out where i am going with the book, you see you create the carachters, and once you put them on the paper they show you the way, they have their stories within them and they tell you, you just have to0 listen and write them down. I have figured out the new carachter that will be introduced in the next chapter, you have already heared about her;SOPHIE, she is something else, very damaged, very beautiful and very smart, i have also figured out two more carachters that would be added in the second chapter. I have sent the first chapter to Dr, B, and have asked two of my friends here to review it too, I think I will wait to hear from the three of them before I start the second chapter. As usuall My friend and guardian Cyrus gets to read every thing first, he has read the first chapter so far, but you kno0w how hard it is to get a comment out of him.

I am at work today, taking my medicine, and sweating like a pig, I do feel a bit better, but I still am weak, and walk like an eighty years old man. I will post you another one of my new poems, and thanks to all of you for your generous sentiments. LIFE IS GOOD

ILL

Posted by Idinraha at 02:34 PM | Comments (0)

Strep Throat rules

well, I went home early yesterday, around three thirty, Got home, and wen straight to bed, I had taken the two Zetromax the doctor had ordered, and about 2000mg of Tylenol, before I left the store, so by the time I got home, I was feeling a bit better. I slept untill seven thirty, when i woke up I was all wet from sweating, and then got a bad chill, so another pair of sox, another sweater, and I moved downstairs to see the kids, and have somke grab, I could not eat much, I had a few dry toast, a long glass of Orange Juice, and another dosage of Tylenol, and I was back upstairs, somewhere between sleep and consciousness, I was going over the Book in my head, and made lots of progress, I have SOPHIE fleshed out pretty much, and also Nair Ben saad, the oher new carachter, I also have a more clear vision of what has happened to get us to this point, well playing around with those vision in my head, I was half sleep and very busy till 9:30, then i went downstairs after cheching on my two beauties sleeping. and sat down to watch HOUSE md, and enjoyed it, then LAW&Order at Ten, and I was ready to go back upstairs, Took Two Advil to help my throbing head, and back in bed, the chills and sweats were back, I was drowning in a pool it seemed, the advils knocked me out, and up at five, another 2000mg of Tylenol, another Zetromax, Maqrjan was up she asked me if I would be staying home for the next two hours, I answered positive, and she went to the GYm. Today is Wedenesday, and the Boat JULIA will be crossing the sound. WE were invited to join the crossing, the kids are happy skipping school, and Marjan has made one of her famous SALADS, enough for twelve people, and of course I can not go, the blipping, blipping strep throat.

Well last night we hade told Amin and Kiana that they should not get close to daddy. Of course Amin does not give a damn, he has to get his hug, but Kiana stays away. still they both came and kissed daddy's hand before they went to sleep. So this morning, Kiana spent a good hour with me talking, she did not even rush down stairs to get her Chocolate milk, she needed some daddy dosage. I took another nap, took a shower, and back in the store. My throat still hurts, I feel kinda empty in my tommy, probably the side effects of the Zetromax, I can not wait to go back to the Gym again, but I think I have to0 wait untill next week, so as You see I am giving you the blow by blow ( as cyrus says) of the sequences of my sickness, thanks for all your get well wishes, Cyrus did send me some Dry soups, his own concosion, I just have to add hot water, I have not dared yet. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 10:22 AM | Comments (0)

June 07, 2005

Hit and run

last night on the way home I was listening to the classic rock station, and MEATLOAF, came on with Bat outa hell song. It was fun, I had not heard that one in a long time. Once home, I had Marjan's special salad fo0r dinner, It did take me, fourty five minutes to chew it down, it was delicious, about ten minutes later, suddenly I felt I had been hit by a ten ton truck, I could not stand up, or walk, all my bones, my joints hurt, My head throbbed and I had a sore throat, I got myself upstairs and fell in my bed, that was about eight oclock, I got up about twelve, took another set of pills, and got back to sleep. I saw Houtan this morning , and he said I have strep throat, so another few Tylenol, and ZITROMAX to rescue, I do feel awfull, but this would pass too.

My Darling Cyrus has left us a wonderfull, beautifuly written comment on the story of Creation, so has Chey, Inasy, and SL, thank you all, forgive me bu now I have to go put my head down, incidently the poem POILAR GHOST, is doing gangbusters on POETS.COM, lots of great reviews and five stars. LIFE IS GOOD.

Posted by Idinraha at 12:39 PM | Comments (4)

June 06, 2005

Monday Monday

This morning I woke up feeling my whole right hand was numb, well I got scared, but I told myself, it's the right hand, dont get alarmed, and it had gotten that way, since my Darling Amin had joined me in the middle of the night, and was sleeping on my arm. The Gym was busy
and crowded, I did my two hours, took a shower and got to the store.

My new poems on POETS.COM are getting great reviews, and I am on the verge of getting my 4000 stars rather soon. It is always nice to get confirmation on my little babies. I also sent some of them to Dr B, and she likes them too. I did find a new poet on the site also, she writes confessional poetry, and does a good job at it, I am gonna try to hook up with her, and after while maybe invite her to come and visit us here.

This afternoon I got a visit from Dr, B, she emailed me yesterday, that she could not come and see me at the store over the weekend with her Husband and son, but she could come and see me for coffee. And it was a blast, I showed her the pictures of my lovely wife Marjan, and my two beauties Kiana, and Amin, she liked my store. and then we went next door and talked for two hours, over coffee. She is so encouraging about my poetry, and is guiding me toward different piblishers and Journals to submitt my works. And it is so wonderful when you can talk to somebody as intelligent and kind as her, she thinks I should write a memoire. I am hoping to invite her and her family to our house for Barbecue and swimming one of these days, she has a nine year old son, and I warned her if her son meets my beautiful Kiana, he will fall in love with her.

It is rather hot here today, summer is here, and the weather is nice. I have come up with new ideas in my head about my book, where we visit next would be probably with Sophie, the new carachter in life of Malculm and Brian. If you have not checked the Book part of the site, push the icon and once there push chapter one, I have close to twenty paragraph there and maybe one or more and I have completed the first chapter. so try it and leave me some comments. Ferry has posted a picture of my bare butt on his site under the heading SHE, so check him out on LIVELIFE, and tell me how you like my picture.

yesterday i posted one of my new poems, POLAR GHOST, here, it was inspired by information I got from Dr, B at our last visit. She had taken a trip with one of her friends to ICELAND, to0 see the country and finish her lates book, and I got to write my version of it. My chewing obsession and the excersise has helped me to lose seven pounds, and I look prettier than ever, and I am happy about my new dicipline. Try the chewing things and let me know what you think about it, as usuall my new obsession is killing my wife sitting at the table with me for dinner, while I chew, and chew and chew. God give her patient. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 03:28 PM | Comments (1)

June 05, 2005

Polar Ghost,(the safety of objects)

She saw the white patch
of land beneath her, looking
down the window of the plane, she
had come so far in search of her Polar
Ghost, and the clamity of it baren remains,
the emptiness, the majestic flow of its geography,
the footsteps that it held beneath the layers of ice.

She had brought them all,
the note books, her verses, that
hurled inside her, care full of ice
blossoms crawling on surfaces, as she
covered herself in another layer, preserving
the life within her, and her quiet wonder as
she became to know in so many ways that the
answer she seeked was out there, outside
the security of her stand, her boots,
her hat, the gloves, and the
sepration they allowed her,
The safety of the objects.

So she walked
braving the cold,
as she took them off
one by one, allowing the
clarity of her reach, to become
a part of all that it was, and only
then she saw the footsteps that traced the
landscape, and a map to her wilderness.

Posted by Idinraha at 05:04 PM | Comments (1)

Inherit the wind

"He who hath trouble in his house, shall inherit the wind, and the fools succumb to wise......"

Just saw the movie, I can never resist a movie with Spencer Tracy in it, and it is a grand one. so what would it be, Evolutiuon, or the seven days of the creation. It is so hard to deny the evolution theory, it sounds right, and by now even proven right, so what one to do with the religion. Believing in God, and all the prophets, the holly wars, the crusades, Adam and Eve, and above all, the believers.
What is one to do.

Believing in God has been such a cornerstone of my beliefs. Believing in GOOD, and Bad. But as Fereydoon had said in his rant, as I am getting older the doubts do come through, bit by bit they sip in, and corrupt the serenity of my acceptance. You know, it is the quality of the life I live believing in God, it is the trust and the submission, leaning in faith and paying forward toward its mercy. There is a certain security in it. The other day I had a client and he told me he is an athiest. I told him he is a brave man, heck I am not that brave, that confident, but I am sure if I was brought up in a different society, and different morality was installed within me, it would have been different. The thing is tghat as I am gettinbg older, I find more reasons to believe in god, and more reasons for believing in evolution. So let us put is this way.

First there was God and nothing else, he set up the rules, the laws of beings, what holds, and moves everything toward its being and begining, and then he just took a seat and watched. No Adam, or Eve,
no those are stories that made sense within the knowledge and sofistications of their time, how would you explain evolution to people who are illetarate. I mean if we had recieved our prophits in the middle of twentirth century, they could not sell us on Adam and Eve. The problem is the sequences of the time, and a bit of shuffle might had made things easier. all and all you believe in God with your heart, and accept science with your head, one factual and one abstract, you figure it your own way.

Well good news to my hemosexuall friends, our lesbians, Bi sexualls, and Bi curious ones. The scientists in London have found a way to prove that hemosexuality is by nuture and not nurture, the culprit is a gene that upon injecting it to a female fruit fly had made her to walk around in soft shoes and going for Conchita rather than Manuel.
I should say though that does not justify our Bi sexuall friends since they are getting it both ways!, nature, and nurtue. so live and let live, it is their nature they are at no fault, they are just drawn that way.

Next week, our funny politicians would be back in the congress, to fight a bit more over the other judges, and of course the beloved Mr, Bolton. I do think that we need a person of Mr, Bolton's carachter and sensibilities in the UN, since the corruption and the helplesness of the culture in that organisation had made it even weeker, and less necassary than eve. I also think Mr Jackson should be left alone, and if any parents allow their kids to be toyed by him, they should be charged with greed, and dangering a minor. The housing market is still running hot hot hot,so please no forecast of its demise from the ones seate3d on the sides. There is lots of money in the economy, and as long as the interest rates are as low, that market will be sizzling.I still think the sex offenders and the child molesters should be casterated upon their first offence, or sentenced to life in prison with no paroll, we are paying a high price for our leaniance toward them. and lets for God sake not celebrate victumhood, and the latest addicted celebrities who suddenly have found the truth and are trying to go cold turkey.

Remember we reap what we sow, so lets be careful out there. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 02:46 PM | Comments (6)

June 04, 2005

Family autographs

Well this is for all the men, We do not know how to take care of ourselves. Women do. How many times you have been wating in bed, watching her put lotion on her legs, arms, face. The moisterizer, the latest mask of fruits, oils, or weeds. You see it is not the actuall doing it but the intention behind it, yes I will take care of myself, I will look for dry patches on my skin, I will not forget to put that lotion on my legs, they are trained to do that, by their mothers, watching their mothers, and grandmothers............. When was the last time any of you guys took a bubble bath, with a gloass of wine and candle light, I guess not huh. You do not remember do you, I am not talking about your girlfriend in college pushing you in the tub and taking adavantage of you reluctantly. But you coming home tired, and decide to reward yourself with a warm bath, a glass of wine, and maybe your favorite book.NAH

I started thinking about this watching, WILL AND GRACE, when grace is depressed, and comes home to fine Will having a bubble bath, and Will says, I thought you will be depressed, and you might need a bath, but it looked so good I got in myself. We have come a long way though, there is lot more hair products out there, we put plugs on our bald heads, there are a lot more nose jobs, and face lifts,(don't even go there, and start me on that), we do excersise more, and some of us even try a bit of make up once in a while. But not the Bubble bath, if we find ourselves alone at home, we will find other unmentionable excersise to occupy our time.

When I was in college, at Setton Hall, there was a course thought by a Jesuet priest called PLAY. The focus of the game was finding the role of PLAYING, and its necassity in adult life. How it helps us become more balanced in our every day life. It was very interesting, since only when we are at Playing, we get to the state of not thinking, not worrying, and as we all know that is the ultimate state. THINKER WITHOUT THE THOUGHT. of course all of this coming fro0m a man who has not had a vacation in nine years. But I do get to play as you all know by my writing, by my role playing, and all I do, or at least that is how I convince myself.

My sweet son Amin is showing lots of improvement, last night we were at Julia's house for David's sixteenth birthday, as usuall she had out done herself, Great appetizers, cheeses, home made wine, and all kinds of barbecues, we ate to our hearts delight, I am still on my CHEWING regimen, which make me enjoy my food more, and not eat as much, for the first time after the dinner, I did not feel bloated, and was very happy about my new experiment. Everybody was surprised to see Amin playingt with the kids outside, some of the guest did not even recognised him since he did not used to be present at the parties most of the time, playing games downstairs.

And My precious Kiana came up with her latest idea, producing a white piece of the paper, put the date on it, and the title, FAMILY AUTOGRAPHS, and then she got every one, big and small to sign their names on it, and took it home as her new little tressure. Every one was delighted to see her new project and willingly signed the paper.
We all taked about MR Moayeddi, our very own DAYEE JAN NAPOLEONE, He passed away a few days ago in Iran, He and his wife had become a part of the family and were present at most of the family parties. He was Eighty Five years old, and died in sleep. The last of old Iranaina Gentlmen, a polotician who had held many Jobs in SHASH'S government, well spoken, well read, and always dressed up in suite and ties, we all talked about him shared memories, we will miss him. so the weekend is here, and as ever, LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 09:49 AM | Comments (3)

June 03, 2005

Flirting with disaster

That's the title of a Ben Stiller Movie, and one very funny movie, if you like to laugh out loud and roll on the floor, watch it.last week i also had a chance to watch MOTOR CYCLETTE DIARIES, a road movie about CHEGOVARA, and his long trip around the South American continent. It is a good movie, worth watching. So did any of you get the chance to watch EMPIRE FALLS on HBO. Cinderalla Man, looks like a good movie too, with Russel Crowe, probably the best actor of his generation, Directed by Ron Howard, their last colabration brought aclamation and two oscars for Ron Howard. This one should probably do the same.

So how you all doing with summer, any vacations planned, special projects. Today I caught up with my effort in writing my book, and added a few more paragraph to it. All together we have about twelve paragraphs of the first chapter, that should make Cyrus happy since he spent time creating that section of the site. i recieved a message from an old friend asking me " why are you talking about such private subjects on the Internet ?", I told him , he should read the whole thing then he would know. I am having a good time reading all of the material that DR, B gave me, and have made another connection with MeTal, reviewing her new poem, and hopefully she will be back to us soon.

We got some very funny comments from Cyrus, and Shrink lady about the last picture I posted,BUDDIES, try to read them, I also got some comments from CHEY, she is alive and well, getting settled in MARTHA'S VINEYARD, and trying to get a taste of all the bachellor men on the island, good luck CHEY. My LiL sis Maryam left us a comment wondering about my new obsession,CHEWING, Ferry also left us a comment about that. Life goes on, DIDO still sounds good, actually listening to her last night on my way home, I came up with the idea of what to write in the book today. I have four new poems posted on POETS.COM, which I have not posted here yet, I probably will get to them over the weekend, wishing you all a fun , happy weekend, LIFE IS GOOD.

Posted by Idinraha at 02:00 PM | Comments (1)

June 02, 2005

My food , my lover

I am restless, and that is good, the winter is passed and so has the spring, and summer is upon us. I will get to sit and watch all the pretties in their summer dresses, so inticing, making me think that i owe so much to my sight, as much of it that I have. Summer brings colors, and skin, the delicious patch of skin that the summer girls get to expose between their very fashionable tops, and their hip hugging, back baring pants, I am the feverish student of the girls watching school, and god knows that every face , every bare arms and torso does sustain me more than i deserve.

My new obsession dejoure these days is chewing, yes chewing my food as long as I can in my mouth, allowing the food to circle within my mouth, touches the top of my mouth, inside my cheecks, as long as I can and I have come to appriciate the new sense of tastes it brings me, I do not eat my food any more, I make love to it, like a carefull lover, all foreplay, and no intercours. Yesterday, I took my time, and ate my sandwich in fourty minutes, I tasted every thing in it, in nibbles and small bites, I touched the bread with my lips and tasted it within my mouth before I tear into it, as carefully and as patiently as i do when when I go down on my beloved. i tasted the texture of the meat, the solid dense fabric of it, the tomatoes, the hot pepper spread, the onions, and the cheese, as it burned my mouth, the whole wonder of it.

Europeans have a much more romantic idea of eating, they take their time, and treat their food with respect, not a one night stand, and a quick in and out. I think, like dancing, the way a man eats shows how good a lover he is, the way he taste his food, and treasure the essence of it, the tastes. i amtalking canddle lights, rose petalls,
and silk sheets, sucking toes, and licking tighs, taking your time, and simmering in anticipation, blowing breath in the directions of her, touching lips, and getting there misty humid, but sober. So next time you are sitting at a table with a plate of food in front of you, look at it as a lover, that you get to eat, and allow it to nourish you bit by bit. give it a face, lips, a long neck, porcelin shoulders, bossoms and nipples, give it limbs, and take your time, allow you eyes to feast on it and than thread lighty, enjoy it.

And my beautifull wife Marjan ia aware of my new obsession and she is patient with me, since she knows the geography of my addictions, last night i was still at my dish, after she had ate hers, and I needed another twenty minutes, and even then i was only half into it, so I got up, I had enough, and she greeted me with a knowing smile, shaking her head, thinking this would pass too.

Eight hours of sleep last night, my body is getting what it needs, I missed the Gym but I am gonna go in a while, and get me sweting, i need it and i will have it. I feel thigher in my muscles, more dense, and it feels good, the bump in the middle is going down little by little, I feel poems coming, the restlesness of it has settled in already, I just had to go there, where the certain ghosts of knowings are waiting for me, they have tales to tell and I can not wait. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 09:49 AM | Comments (4)

June 01, 2005

Dr B to rescue

Yesterday I met Dr Kim Bridgeford, my teacher for lunch at Fairfield University. She greeted me with open arms, still kind, and considerate as ever, and before you know it we were deep in talk, I talked mostly and she listened gracioucly. I had always felt a keenship with her, from the moment I met her. We talked about poetry of course, our lives, our kids, our better halfs. She brought me lots of goodies, generous as she has always been with me. She also signed her two poetry books for me- UNDONE, and -INSTEAD OF MAP.

I have read UNDONE cover to cover, and if any of you love poetry at its best, you should buy the book. Dr B also gave me her new book, which I will be reading soon, INSTEAD OF MAP. Well Twelve years has passed since I had seen her last, but it was like we were still in her poetry workshop. She has given me a few names and adresses of people that might like my poetry, and might publish them, I am greatfull, and planning to keep in touch with her and see her soon, maybe even take one of her classes.

Life goes on, business is till dragging, Friday night we are over Julia's house again, It is David's sixteenth birthday, and he such a wonderfull kid, I still remember when he was born, with his blonde hair and Blue eyes, kinda standing out amongst all of us with our dark brown or bkach hair and eyes. He is now taller than his father(the tallest amongst us at6'2"), and probably has a good future if he wants as a bascket ball player.

I am still at it with my excercise, one and half to two hours a day, and have made improvement to get back my girlish figure, and maybe fit in that tiny Yellow polka dot bikini. I have written two new poems, HER FIRST MISTER, and INDULGANCE, A PUBLIC DISPLAY. i hope to post them here soon. LIFE IS GOOD

Posted by Idinraha at 10:08 AM | Comments (4)