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June 18, 2005
for Demons to go away
I have chewd my skin, in its dry patches and in its heaving corners, she says, I feel too, much, and I say, I beg to differ, I need more, I need it all within all the surfaces, I dream of butterflys and birds, I dream of their flights, and the sky is so clear , the sky in so boundless, where do we go from here.
I have cleaned the floors, dusted all the surfaces, broke the glass windows, and asked them to go away, the doors are open, and I feel so very safe, within me , within this habitat, this configaration of woods and beams, of bricks and metals, I need another posion another trip another seeing, I need to know, and I think I could handle all I will recieve.
The waters are calm, the waves ahave subsided, as I flow on the surfaces of the water, and know of the depth of it, of all that lives beath me, and I have no fear, the sky is calm, and the weather soothing, and I have submitted myself in form in breath, all and all to this
I walked in the house and she throw the ORANGE BALL AT ME, AND THEN SHE HUGGED ME, my mother, so soft in her flesh, and the smell of her cooking in her neck and her dress, I wish she held me there, right there, for a quiet ever, the ball bounced to the corner of the room, and she let go of me............
she say I am shameless and all I do is for attention, I beg to differ, I have seen the truth, and it does not measure within the boundries of your little head, and you do not know, and I cant not offer you anything but my silence, i am too tired to explain, too too
tired, and words are suck crooked little tools, the little teeth that can not bite, and can not hold, so allow me my reality, my life. I do not need the attention of the ones that can not recieve the jest of my purges, and if I soil their sensibilities, there are other doors, I never insisted, I never try to explain, I do not need to, and I do not need you.
Paper tigers, and plastic chains, allow me my advantures, for I am kind to trespasses, but I do not have time to explain, and I will allow you your flight, I will close my eyes, I will not utter words to your denial, I will not, this is where I plant my seeds, this is my land, my native land, and these are my bretherns, and what brings them here, is the seed, and the promise of growth, the tilt of my vision, and my brazen colors, the ugliness of my gestures, and the hues of my shame, and You are crowding me, you make me ache for another breath, it is your filth, your shame, your intentions, your demented vision, your ghosts, your nightmares, the way you precieve the way you mirror my intentions and my judgements, not mine, please just go away.
Allow me my choices, my demons, allow me the rest of my Sunday mornings within my house, allow me my dreams, and if only if I allowed you to stay , please, for Gods sake, shut your motuh, and listen, this is not your audiance this is not your prayer, I do not belong to you, I have never belonged to anyone, only the hands I hold, the cheeks I kiss , the ones I want.
Take your ropes, and your relations, let me breathe, and dont let the door hits you as you exit, I have had enough of you, just go away
Posted by Idinraha at June 18, 2005 06:01 PM