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June 26, 2005
Sunday morning
I tried Cuppocino this morning, the girls at Dunkin Donut were surprised. the bitter taste and the lack of sugar was such wellcoming change, I am still playing KEANE on my CD, and let the windows and the sunroof open as I am Eighty Fiving on Route Ninty five.
We only get to watch and see, as the air moves, winds flee, and life goes on, My shoulders are sore from yesterday, but I am easing within this day, I like the quietness in my heart, and am enjoying the new adventures the places I am going, within my head. Sometimes its the expectations of life that become such motivation for us to go on, someone said, Life is at the best when you are looking for something, anticiapation of it, the wait. That is the reason that people who raise children and allow their life and living become the most important part of their lives, live a better life, nothing is more endearing than watching your kids grow, you never get tired of it, since they will always change and come up with new adventures for you.
Having David stay with us has convinced us both Marjan and I that we grow within the realm of the life our children live. We have been so helpless in knowing his mind, and trying to reach him, we have not grown enough to enjoy the life of a sixteen years old, and the responsibility of having him and watch out for him has been heavy on Marjan's shoulder, since she needs to be the best at every thing she does, and yet she does not know, she is full of doubts and questions. David is very well behaved, a very good kid, involved mostly in Basketball, and Footbal, we do not see him all day, sometimes he shows up for dinner, and Marjan has to pick him up or dropp him at different destination, it has been a pleasure to have him and get a glimpse of what awaits us down the road. But like any other Teen ager, he is very quiet, living in his own world, and Marjan tries very hard to reach him.
Amin has a new obsession being his daddy's son. He is stuck now on Starwars, he also has gotten to enjoy Simpsons. Kiana is growing so fast within her life that is scary, she comes up with such new voccaublary, new style, we share the same taste in music, and in many ways her soul has the same aspirations that mine did. She sees too much, and hears too much, she does not miss anything, she knows where everything is in the house, and has an amazing memory, a social butterfly, with a full scheduall of play dates, Birthday parties, keeping her mother well on her toes, she enjoys the life style that we offer her to the max, always asking for more.
In a way though Amin has become Marjans obsession more than anything, she was brought up with three brothers, and has always been comfortable around men, and watching Amin grow, and making his life as comfortable as ahe can is the first priority for her, I enjoy so much see her loving him, the way she looks at him, caters to him, and once in a while just hugs him and kisses him, her little man who is not as complicated and as impulsive as the other man in her life.
And loving me also comes to her easily, not living with me though, but she is a patient kind and she knows me, she gives me lots of space, as I do for her, and watches over me waiting for my next adventure, my next obsession and I knw now more than ever, she knows well How much I love her. she sees the tortured soul in me, and comforts me, making her my Rock of Gebraltar. and there is also another angle to this, the way we enjoy being together, the intimacy and the safety of it. the way I am when we are alone together, the way she is, and its the allowance of years we have spent together, the rough patches and the blessing of it. she allows me to go, and wellcomes me when I am back, and knowing that she is there as uncomplicatedly loyal and loving allows me more daring in my adventures. Having her in my life more than anything makes me feel special, knowing the guy upstairs has been as is watching over me.
I got positive feed back from Fereydoon about my new proposition , but like any good business man, and the logical part of him wants us to talk about it more. Shrink lady also likes the idea but is not sure if she can contribute to it as much as other, I beg to differ, she has what I have found in Cyrus, Fereydoon, Inasy, and chey, and that is the generosity of spirit, and a thirst to be more, and do more in the life that we all have been offered. I am waiting for Cyrus's approval, although I think he is so blessed and happy in the life he lives with his beloved wife Mahnaz, and the time they spend together is so precious for him that he might not be interested to get involved, but I am sure of the hold of Love and friendshp I have with him that he would help us no matter what. Inasy also married with three children probably would have a difficult time to find the time to help but having her with us in this journey is so crucial that we could not accept her refusal, I think in many ways she has to become our Editor in Chief, since she is so increadably solid in her writing skills and her sense of time, and the mission we all have within our time. Chey should be easier to convince, being single and adventures, the free Gypsy soul that she is, we need her to cover the style and artistic part of our endeaver.
I sincerely think though that the bulk of the work would be on Fereydoons and my shoulders, and God knows, we both have brad shoulders, and we have tasted the freedom of writing and posting, and having our own blogs, and we are still idealistic in our aspirations to give our lives something more than just living it. We ahve talked and dreamt of being more, and we both have this insasiable drive and thirst to excell, to share, and to leave a legacy of the life we have lived. And living hear in this country, with all the allowance that we have recieved we feel obligated to do more.
Yes, yes I am still a dreamer, but it take men like me to set the map, and cnjour the aspirations for new adventures , new boundries, we are the stepstones of Human beings resolve in its search for more, and more and more. this is not said in an egotistic jest but to suggest Dreams are the vision of our tommorows. LIFE IS GOOD
Posted by Idinraha at June 26, 2005 10:24 AM
Comments
Dear Idin, I'm sorry but my pc has been in the shop for almost a week and I will be reunited with it tomorrow. I haven't had a chance to read or post lately as I've been living a busy vineyard life; viewing art at many galleries, rez williams work is now on the smithsonian list..he deserves the recognition as his modern work of dock life is very commanding AND he is a sweetheart of a man,,,dance performances at 'the yard' are electrfying as usual and now with carly simon as their patron they can attract very accomplished dancers,,,saw jim belushi's band at the hot tin roof last night(he ROCKS w/his L.A. band), the islands only 'night club' which is owned by my EX husband and he didn't even put me on the guest list!! hahaha but one of the bartenders did so I was front and center!!! There are 3 female clothing designers staying with us now and we have all connected on emotional and spiritual levels as well as being strong independent women. We do yoga, pilates, & belly dancing together in the a.m. and then head over to the store for a day 'meet and greet' the customers in edgartown. I am collaborating with one on her new summer line for 2006. I am also writing ads and radio commercials for local business's and have been asked to join the committee for the vineyards annual fashion show for next years event. I'm working with an interesting englishman who does lighting and have an artist in mind for the new backdrops,,,,our weekly 'dinner and hot tub paries' have been growing in number and friday night we fit 11 people in a 4 person tub!!! my friends gigunda yellow lab tried to jump too!! For relaxing I go fishing as you know and now have 2 girlfriends that join me for a weekly night of it. we head up to the port of 'menemsha' with our fishing poles & cold beer and get a take out clam bake dinner then sit on the dock and cast our cares into the ocean....it's heaven. I am re reading the celestine prophecy right now and also taking up meditation. living life is good. i also had a very interesting experience meeting someone in person last week that I had been talking to on line (and phone). He turned out to be a predator,socio-path and pathalogical liar...he lasted about 3 hours with me and my friends before I asked him to leave. I learned a huge lesson about internet relating,,the negative side anyway and may share it with you all someday soon. SL (my trusted confidant)knows the whole story and the person I am speaking of,,,,anyway that's my story for now. Today I'm barefoot and smiling...as for my romantic life I'm dating a few men and taking it slowwwww but will keep you posted.
Posted by: chey~chey at June 26, 2005 01:39 PM
The facts remains that many of us make our online contributions in different shapes and forms. What Javad is proposing is that we bring it all under one roof. If it is worth the public "consumption" so be it. I am already rewarded when I write, so anything that comes afterwards is just a bonus and a lesson. Javad's idea does not necessarily compromise our current efforts but at least multiplies it. So far I am looking at this as a positive step for all that all are doing, but in a collective media. Baby steps are pre-requisites to walking, but becoming a mountain-climber such as Cyrus requires a devotion, vision and commitment that the child does not yet have when taking the first step.
I am not yet givig my stamp of approval but lookig at each persons strenghts, it sure is an excellent idea worth pondering.
Posted by: LiveLife ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.idinraha.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 26, 2005 02:03 PM
Chey, you are very right. Your experience last week really teaches us about the negative aspects of internet contacts. You should def. share your story; and it certainly taught me a lot too.
LL and Idni, I see your points. Again, I had an experience with a private forum and it flopped; I thought of starting my own blog but I am very apprehensive about it today. I guess I am far more happier responding to what people write rather than taking the initiative to create something new. I'm afraid I might make your newspaper rather dull and boring in the end. Please count me out. Thanks for the invite.
Posted by: ShrinkLady at June 27, 2005 11:17 AM
Chey, you look like you're having fun! Returning home has certainly uplifted your spirits.
Posted by: ShrinkLady at June 27, 2005 11:46 AM