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June 15, 2005
Where did you buy this bed ?
Our bedroom is very open to outside, a large walk out window takes you out to a balcony at the side of the house, there is lagre sky light on the cieling, and two windows, on the back side wall, the bed is set in an angle somehow cutting the room in the middle. The walls are painted in beautifull Pumpkin skin color, and the bed quilt is in darker tones of Ginger, green, decorated with multi color beads, and velvet,
we sleep on a king size bed, it is comfortable, but I miss the closeness of our old Quenn size bed, it was easier for me to reach Marjan, and she selpt closer. the bed itself is very simple in soft wood color, the head board is ornated by metal circles and designs in
the midlle, the wood on it looks old and distressed.
I love laying down in our bedroom, looking out from the large side window, while Marjan sits close to me, reading, as we talk, it is our space, where we can close the door, leave outside, way out, feel safe in our togetherness, and enjoy quiet converstaions, the way married people do. we stay closer when it is not safe outside, when one of us feels vounerable, and needs the safety of of the other one, when life through us a big one, and we need counsel. There is no pretenses her, no covers, we share our truth, our life, and we talk. If I come from work and she sees the discomfort in me, she summons me up, and brushes it away, and I do the same for her.
Looking outside the window last night at dawn, when colors fleet and the sky subtles in grays, contrasting the darker shades of the trees, and winds dance amongst the leaves, I see faces that come through the lines that leafs depict against the gray sky, I see shapes, and faces, they come and go, mirroring me inside, my hopes and fears, my life, and as we talk, I watch, and little by little I lose the scene outside as the night befalls, and leaves us.
Last night we asked Kiana to allow us some time togther, " What are you gonna do? " she asked, " and how long you need", she continued, "well, we just want to be together, you know married people need to be together time to time", Marjan answered. Kiana agreed, and we almost had an hour together, wich is a nice allowance, and privilage. Afterward, upon Marjan leaving the room, Kiana came in to claim her place next to her daddy. We talked, sang, played silly, and before you know it Amin was up there too. So I made room for him, hoding him next to me. This was exactly what the doctor had ordered, unconditional love, to have it and allow it to wash over me, listening to them, their voices, their requests, singing, being silly, and leaving the day way out, way way out. " your bed is so comfy daddy", Kiana said." where did you buy it", she asked, " its not the bed my love that is comfy, it is just an ordinary bed like many others, its the love we all recieve here that makes it comfy", I answered. " you think I could get a bed like this when I grow up", she asked again. " Oh you will my sweetness, you sure will", I said.
Marjan got Amin to his bed, and I laid on the floor of the kiana's room next to her untill she found sleep, holding on to me. I found Marjan later on down stairs, we watched a little TV, she went to bed, and I watched basketball finals, before I went upstais.LIFE IS GOOD
Posted by Idinraha at June 15, 2005 09:58 AM