September 01, 2005
My Heart Attack
Every morning, I wait for my heart attack. Hootan says my cholestrol is good, blood pressure's fine. Fat to muscle ratio is very good. but still I have had uncles on both side of the family dying at my age. and I am my fathers seconds son(as they were), the arrogant one. I don't know why, but I wait every morning, and then when it does not show up, I go about the rest of my day reluctantly.
Marjan thinks its the depression sipping in again. she knows me well, but I don't know. And without the heart attack I have to go on, providing for my family, watching not to disappoint my wife further. make sure I have my Jammies on, so my daughter would not be embaressed in front of her friends. I have to play baseball with my son, althought Marjan does not think I am a good male influence on him. I never thoguth I would, but he would find his way, the way I did, the way many do, or don't.
I have to answer to my friend, Mr Spock, why I am wailing again, trying to get attension, maybe I don't know, he is more logical than me, maybe he is right. Sometimes I feel a bit of pain in my left arm, and I think, and then I remember I lifted too much weight yesterday. and I have to finish the book no matter what, the closer I get to the end, the more I stall. Marjan thinks its the lives of my characters in me taking me away, and I tell her I always have many excuse for that. and the characters are oky, and whether I wanted or not they have to go away. Dr, B likes my characters, specially Malcolm, Sara, Choob and now Richard, the dying homosexuall.
Marjan thinks I should think about writing one man plays, or two men stories. she thinks the more characters inside my books and my head, the larger they would make my head. I wonder. But the heart attack could be the savior. These days when I see a customer I want to puke. I want to pull out my penis and pee on them, and tell them to get lost, they had their chance with me and now it's too late.
wow, I feel better now sharing my miseries, thanks, LIFE IS GOOD
Posted by Idinraha at September 1, 2005 02:40 PM
Comments
I'm sure Hootan can tell you more about other risk factors, if you care...
There's not much to say - I can only hope that it's a mild one.
Posted by: cycho ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.idinraha.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 7, 2005 10:45 AM