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September 05, 2005
To be incidental
I am exhausted, tired, and on verge of crying, thank god I have no place to do it. Marian and I have this custom that whenever one of us is under pressure, the other one takes him or her to bed. then we hold each other, and cry, it helps. She asked me if I needed to cry when she came back from Seattle, but I said NO, I wish I had.
Just received the reviews from Dr, B on chapters 23, and nth. She is delighted with 23 rd, and likes nth plenty too. I had been feeling lost, since she was away and I hadn't gotten any feed back from her. I am into chapter nth. have about twelve paragraphs, I know where we are going with it, and hopefully within the next chapter we will have a conclusion. then I have to write the last Chapter of the book, ILLUSIONS. which in a way would put everything together, and crumble it, leaving my readers in limbo. I like that.
"it's not easy to be incidental", - memories of me, the movie
Would I ever get to turn on the TV, and see something wonderful, some good news, is that too much to ask. I mean haven't we seen enough accidents, and death, hurricanes, floods, fires, and haven't we gotten desensitized after watching so much of it.
Would TV programmers stoop any lower, with all the reality shows that make fictional movies more real than ever. Don't we have any shame in us any more. I wrote one of my friends the other day, THEY ARE SELLING SOULS OUT THERE. and in a way he told me to snap out of it.
The next six to twelve month will have such an effect on the future of this country. with two vacancies on the bench now, it is so crucial for Republicans to hold on to their guns. and get their nominations through, they have fought hard for it, and the re-election's result have given GWB the right to get his nominees. I hope our puny , yellow belly middle of the road opportunists like HA GEL, Snow, Chaffy, and their leader Mac Cain would not ruin the process. It should be interesting.
" Where are my Shoes, and who called my name, Sohrab. I have to leave tonight, I who have talked from the widest windows with these people, I never heard them realizing the essence of time. nobody has looked taken by the glory of a garden. Nobody's has taken the crows that linger by the farm seriously." - Shrub Sepehry
The loneliness has made me weary, I ache, and accept the silence as it weeds me through and through. Living within my geography, my scenery. walking through these dark walkways, and walking down as I view the clouds within my mind, and the extension of the sky's I will reach I as walk down further. I tell myself it is crucial to take the road, and to get there. to write the last word, on the last paper, and then let them live for the eternity they aspire to. I miss conversation with the ones I know, and I abhor the voices that come through. there should be calmer waters, and the rest that comes when the trip is over and the rapture is gone. Happy traveling Blue soldiers.
Posted by Idinraha at September 5, 2005 04:32 PM