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October 06, 2005
It really does not matter
There's a beautiful patch of sky right by the lake as I get home every day. These days it treats me to colorful sunsets. The other day I caught the begining of it as I rolled along the lake, and by the time I was in the middle it had turned to an amazing array of Aqua Blue, and the clouds playfully stiil were lit by the receding oranges and ambers. Somehow I grabbed that scene within my head and kept it there, the purity of the colors were enchanting, and I have kept it there inside my head.
This little passage always have given me heart braking images of lights colors and design. I say hearbreaking, since it's like coming across something that is much much bigger than you, and so overwhelming in its presence, that it breaks you and make you cry, which I have many a times. But that day, I told to myself, Why should anything matter, this life we live is so short and passing that nothing should matter, and everything should be okay. You know it is such a religious experience, when you submit, or may be I should say it is such a spiritual experience being engulfed and taken away. You come to understand a certain revelation, a certain understanding that IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER, and everything would be okay, as long as there are sunrises and sunsets, and I can get to see them and submit to them with a tear in my eyes.
You put the first brick on top of the second one, and then the third, and the fourth, and the walls rise, abstacting your view, giving you a false sense of security. And then you get more stuff within those walls, and you buy windows and then curtains for windows, and then you close the windows with the curtains, and suddenly there is no view, no light, and that fleeting sense of security. Have you noticed there are less walls, and less locks, and bigger windows, and less cements and grid irons, and gates in FREE COUNTRIES. That was one of the first things I notice about America; there are no walls around the houses. I liked that then, and still like it much now.
I think we have to believe that we are connected to this mother earth, and the nature it offers us, and the closer we live within its allowances and offerings, the more we live, not longer we live but the more we live. Birds die in cages, little by little, Men die within walls every day, though they might live a long life, but they live less. We have alientaed ourselves from our core and we wonder why we are dying. Depressions, Dillusions, Deprevity, Agression, Violence, they all have come to us within the walls we created around us and are fed by the angsts of our seprations and alienations.
Take a walk outside, and take a deep breath, and suddenly your whole dispositions change, and you come to realise IT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER.
Posted by Idinraha at October 6, 2005 10:26 AM