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December 30, 2005
Francis Albert Sinatra
Do be do be do, do be do be do, do be do be do,
Posted by Idinraha at 03:27 PM | Comments (0)
Molana Jalaledin Rumi
Posted by Idinraha at 03:26 PM | Comments (0)
Jesus
Posted by Idinraha at 03:20 PM | Comments (0)
Gandhi
Posted by Idinraha at 03:15 PM | Comments (0)
You do what you can
My new discovery has been GOOGLE EARTH, I know I am a bit behind but I have it now. It's a very interesting soft ware, allowing you to view the whole planet we live on. It is colorfully, and mind bugling making me wonder what's next. I don't relate to the twenty first century very well, and technical gadgets confuse me, and I am afraid of the Cyber reality. However living on this planet is changing so fast in its structure and relations, that if you do not catch up........
My another discovery has been that I am a hermit. I like the distance that the Internet technology affords me in my relations with others. I don't do Friendship well, and just being in the close parameter of my immediate family suites me fine. I do everything to the extreme, maybe trying to expedite the process and go to the next thing, for one life is not enough to know and experience the gift of living. The most appealing features of this living though for me is Truth, and loving. The pureness of Truth intrigues me, and the generosity of loving fulfils me.
And I have so many bags that I have carried with me for so long and I am hoping that at some point I would let them down and get to step lightly, and dare further. I guess I can say that it was a tough year, but in many ways quite interesting and fulfilling. I do feel blessed for living in this country, and enjoying the peaceful security of living my every day life. It is was at the beginning of this year that Choob opened a whole new ways of relations for me by allowing me to have this blog and the privilege of registering my thought, and poetry. It was a very generous gesture and I am in debt to him. And I did have a good run with his gift and God knows how being here and doing this has helped me emotionally, allowing me to learn a lot, and to say a lot. I have shown my love through this blog for many people and also my disdain for some. I do have a sharp tongue, but I hope they all know that my main audience more than anyone else has been me, and my disdain more than any one else has been for me.
Frederic Fellini says, as an artist, it is your job to offend, to object and find new ways to showcase the reality you see. As one who has strived to fill that mold, I guess it has come naturally to me to do what I do, complementing or offending many around me. I was able to dare and write a book, good or bad I would not know yet, but I started it and I finished it. As usual Hob had been a loyal friend and companion through out the whole process. DR, Bridgford also had been a source of encouragement and did put up with all my moods and odd behavior through out that process too. And of course my wife, who centers my life so gracefully and patiently has been a source of loving and support. She is the one that actually asked me the question;" Javad, why is living so hard for you"? To which I did not have any answer.
You could fill the papers with many questions, you could ask for more, and then ask for even more, you could doubt your existence, your motives, your religion, your relations, your life, trying to get further and further close to the truth that awaits you. And in the process you would learn a lot, you would open many doors, which lead you to many other ones. But it's the quest, it's the process, that becomes the nucleus of your life and living. It is the trip and not the destination. And for a stationary man I do travel a lot. At the end you would find out that what you are does not change, but who you are would prosper in the process, so you do what you can.
There are people who have a much simpler understanding of their lives and living. For them, there are only Blacks, and whites. I envy them their calm and piece, and pity them for their limitations. For they never get to experience the magnificence of Purple and lavenders, the serenity of Blues and the life of reds. Looking at a sunset in its glory does not bring tears to their eyes, and seclusion of a bare winter does not touch them. They do not realize the longing of the fallen leaves in Ambers of Autumns and the wet humid sense of any bare foot summer. But they keep their skin in tact, and shades soothes their fears. There is always a balance, always a cost, and if you choose to wonder in the woods, be prepared to get lost.
It is about Four month that I have been also blessed with a new girlfriend, Josie, A seventy years young bundle of Joy, hugs and kisses. She brings me many gifts and we sit to talk many hours. She is generous with her emotions, and love, with long hugs and big kisses. I have always been blessed with companionship of older people. Sam Bino was a good friend to me, and guided me through my early days in business and thought me a lot about life, BOB German was another fabolus companion to me for many years, so was Teresa Pitaro, another generous soul, and they all afforded me their friendship and wisdom, and now it is Josie. Marjan invited her to spend the new years eve at our house with our family and she is coming for dinner.
My mother is one of the most beautiful women that I know. and she has been caring for me for all my years, and this year more than ever she has always been there when I needed her. She has watched over me closer than ever this year and although I do not call her every day like her other sons, but she knows I do love her. My brother Hossein also has been supportive of me through out this year. We are not very close and we differ in every aspects of our ideas and life. But he has been there for me when I needed him this year and I am grateful to him. I have a deep respect for the way he has brought up his sons and have tried to learn from him in that venue.
And of course MY two beauties, Amin, the sunshine of life, and Kiana, the apple of my eyes. They make me feel that I have done something good somehow somewhere to deserve the joy that they bring to me every day of my life. I have learned how to love from them, and it is such a privilege to be able to see them every day and watch them grow toward the promise of their lives.
I never expected such a fortune, such amazing depth of loving, and more than ever I am grateful to my wife for her share in such wondrous production and how she takes such very good care of them, how she loves them and guides them, gracefully and effortlessly. They make me want to be better, and do much more than what I can.
I should also pay tribute to Anthony my other Man crush, for being who he is. A gentle soul, who has been so supportive of all my crazy ways. He gives so much with such an ease, and we have come to be there for each other as we are getting older and raising our own families.
Posted by Idinraha at 10:15 AM | Comments (2)
December 26, 2005
Christmas in our house
well, Kiana insists on having the Christmas tree, and Kiana gets what she wants. We do have a beautiful Christmas tree in our living room, and two medium size colorful Christmas tree lights behind the windows in the dinning room. The kids have given us the list and we made sure they get most of what they expected. I even managed to buy my beautiful wife a special Gift and she was happy, and I tell you nothing was more satisfying to me that seeing her face after she saw her gift.
Our house is decorated beautifully with lots of colors on the walls, and hand picked decorations by my tasteful wife. And during the holiday it is even more colorful and prettier than ever. Christmas day the kids woke us up at 5 O'clock in the morning, eager to open their gifts. within ten minutes the gifts were open, and Marjan was all over the room picking up the paper wraps. I even got a gift. After ward I went back to bed, and slept till ten O'clock. Then got up , had breakfast and went back to bed again. around twelve thirty Marjan woke me up to take a shower and get ready to go to Julie's house. We took the gifts we had for them and went over there where every one had gathered for the Christmas early dinner. Again an Apple Martini and I was in my elements, feasting on all kind of goodies. The dinner was served and we all ate to our hearts delight, the kids opened their gifts and bunch of us sat watching the Basketball game. I took another nap on the couch, and was woken up to go to the desert table, LIFE IS GOOD.
After we came back home, I turned in early and by Seven thirty I was in bed, sleeping again. I tell you I could use a few days like this, and guess what the new years is around the corner and I will get another day off. LIFE IS GOOD
Posted by Idinraha at 02:46 PM | Comments (2)
American politics in a glance
Christmas wishes and New year's dreams. What a year so far, we live in exciting times. We live in a time that makes men out of many boys, and allows the truth to come shining through. I was so disappointed by the Time's, Person of the year. I would have liked to see Sharon, the Prime minister of Israel on that cover, but as usual Times gets it wrong. Sharon has shown in the last few years how a soldier becomes a state man, and how a man can evolve and better himself for the sake of his people and the good of the world. I like to say, Mr, Sharon we did not know you and we are pleased by everything you have done, my hat is off to you.
I would have also liked to see The American Soldier's picture on that cover. What these young men are doing for the sake of Peace and in defense of their country is honorable. Specially in times like this that we all have forgotten what honor, duty and sacrifice means. And contrary to the rumors and jokes that are going around, these are not uneducated men from poor states, and the latest polls have shown that most of them are from higher middle class educated families. The last of real Americans who are not brain washed by the elites and the Academics in this country. God bless them.
As usual, the Democrats are bickering and bitching about their latest hope to discredit Mr, Bush, making an ass of themselves. If you need to know about their latest Brouhaha. Mr Bush is in the right and has the legal precedent on his side. Under the fourth amendment, the Commander in chief has the right to do what ever in protecting this country and Mr, Bush has better than earned that right. Stop bickering and read some court cases, like UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, vs, Duggan, or UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , VS UNITED STATES FEDERAL COURT. Don't just mouth and ape the little you hear from CNN and the three networks, do your own research and you might learn something.
The Polls also show that majority of Americans do agree with Mr, Bush in doing what ever he can to protect them. and in the new year, The Patriot Act will pass both houses, since the Democrats and liberal Republicans as fool hardy as they are, they would not want to be on the wrong side of the arguments, specially with mid-term elections coming up. Mr, Bush's last five speeches has brought new attention to the problem of the borders, and the legitimacy of the war in Iraq, and to the dismay of our friends on the left his late's approval vote is around 47% and rising. Democrats and their mouth pieces are for a rude awakening at mid-term elections, finding out that the JOKE is on them. so while they are drinking their HOLIDAY drinks, and their cracker and cheese and telling each other the latest jokes about the president, we let them be and stew in their ignorance .
Posted by Idinraha at 02:11 PM | Comments (0)
December 15, 2005
Hillary cuffed
http://realclearpolitics.com/Commentary/com-12_15_05_Bevan.html
Posted by Idinraha at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)
The last train to Oblivion.......how a soldier dies
"What happened"?
He thought as he was
thrown back, the bullet
kissed the skin, pierced it
hurling in, His brain, confused
of the message it received,
"disconnection at nerve endings,
Massive hemorrhage", as the blood
descended, flowing out.
"I have to get up", He thought.
But the pain reached, as he tried
and stumbled back on the ground, he
touched the nape of his neck, where
the blood was swooshing out, where his mother
used to kiss him, and his wife before the goodbye
He could feel the soil
awaiting him, as it soaked up
His blood, awaiting for the remain
of a life, the earth could be patient
to receive. He heard the sounds that
crushed the sky, and saw the smoke
within the blue patches of the sky.
There is solemn reality in death,
a timid acceptance, that one can not deny
Inside him, the essences of his living gathered
In cloud of wishes, longings and grieves, knowing
the journey ahead would not be long
The body was collected
Tagged, bagged and numbered,
for the lonely trip homeward, but
the soul frolicked the desert for a while
Before taking the last train to oblivion.
Posted by Idinraha at 11:08 AM | Comments (1)
December 11, 2005
Their house
Sitting lifeless, watching the tube, images crawling, I do not register. Then I notice a mark on the couch, a stain, I take the cloth, some detergent and rub it out, gently so the fabric does not give in, does not bruise, I am sweating as I go further, there is more, here and there, before I know it I am stained in sweat, and the couch looks so fine.
I try to remember, how the house seduced me, and I fell for it's spell, we moved in and the kids loved the new territories, they could run, stop, and run again, and the sounds of their laughter filled the house. we moved a few walls, she was obsessed to make it ours, as she brought color patches, asking me, and I chose some, some she agreed, a new floor Brazilian red, a new kitchen, all the bathrooms getting a face lift, new paints and furniture and when it was all done, she came to rest, at last it was our home, her house.
I close the doors tight every night, as she follows me, my little shadow that can not get enough of me. she learns as we do our ritual every night, she learns how to care for what is hers, is ours, how to lock the doors, and then she feels safe, hanging by my neck, " Lets go beddy bye, she says, as I smile. We lay on the bed, I hold them both, each holding the half part of me they claim, I feel their breath on my neck, we talk, as the sleep finds them, their hands fall, unlocking me, to get up and find my place, next to the lioness I sleep with.
I wonder, many a times, every day of my life, and have come to accept that I might have done something right in, for I have so much of what matters, so very much, the sounds of their feet on the floor, their laughter's, bickering," mine, mine", as they shout, claiming their territory, I think what memories they will have of their father, mother and their house.
Posted by Idinraha at 02:09 PM | Comments (0)
A word from Businessmen
A close look, and report from Iraq, by William F. Buckley
Posted by Idinraha at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)
"Don't ask, Don't tell", Hypocrisy
Another very interesting column by George Will.
Posted by Idinraha at 12:04 PM | Comments (0)
But seriously guys , this clown is dangerous!
This is an interesting column by Mark Steyn a Sun Times columnist, read it.
Posted by Idinraha at 11:58 AM | Comments (1)
December 08, 2005
SOLDIERS
I wonder, who will defend this land. Old men don't make good soldiers, and the lack of morality and beliefs would not motivate the young ones. Is power so precious that one loses his dignity, or are they blind. NAACP would not defend this land, neither does the feminist. The elites talk a good talk, but the last one that came from the war, though out his shady purple hearts and marched against us, not knowing how his grandstanding would cost him so dearly. The business men profit from the war, but they don't fight it, its not cost effective to them.
Our liberties do not defend us, our human rights would not either. The United Nation is a corrupted institution, the home for corrupted politicians from all the nations. Our idealistic notions would not defend us, doubts and second guessing's would not help us. The media would fight against us, betraying us, for they are Judas and ready to sell. GLADD would not defend this nation, neither would NOW. Our politician, they would sell their mothers to the higest bids of any lobbyist before take any arms to defend this nation.
Soldiers defend us, soldiers who believe in this nation, this land and the necessity of our stand for the growth of the dynasty of men on this earth. lets not demoralize them. Lets understand how fierce the enemy is, and how fragile our liberties would be upon our fall. Lead, follow or get out of the way.
Posted by Idinraha at 06:07 PM | Comments (0)
December 07, 2005
Lost
Be patient, I am an acquired taste, so.......I was lost for a while, lets just say, I went away, what a hell, a sabbatical of sort. But I always come back, ready to rumble. Back to basic, where there's a rhythm to expectation and decency. Why decency I don't know, I usually don't go far. I wrote a poem today, God, I haven't done that it so long, but I went back to the well. Drank a few gulps and there it was swirling in me and coming up. writing poem is like sex, once you get in the saddle it all comes back to you. I renewed my subscription at Poets. com. I was welcomed back by my old friend METAL NYMPH, did some reviews, probably made a few people angry and felt much better.
So there's still time, before we obliterate the world to pieces, before we see another Democrat in office, (see how close those two statements come, one after another). There's still time, so lets turn the TV off, talk a bit, have some tea, and then maybe go for a walk, and at the end of the day, watch the sunset, and turn in. Life is good.
Posted by Idinraha at 01:29 PM | Comments (2)
December 01, 2005
I am hungry
I like almonds, I enjoy walnuts, a little hot bread, some feta cheese, and walnuts. Yummy. I remember when we were kids, my mother would makes us these little sandwiches that consisted of Bread, cheese and butter, all rolled up in a flat bread, for school lunch. The other kids made fun of us, but we knew their mothers were too busy to make them one. we called them GHazi.
I started school early, by the time I was five, I was in the second grade. I was much smaller than my classmates, so I used to get beat up a lot. My mother also remembers how I used to get stuck in the snow. She would watch for me from the window, and she would come to rescue. Our principal who also owned the school with her mother, was a pretty woman who knew how to play accordions. and once in a while she would take all the kids to the first floor and play accordion for us. That was such a treat.
In My fifth grade. we had a music teacher. she was thin and tall with beautiful hair and angelic voice. She was arranging a show for the last day of school, and was searching for boys and girls that could sing. I volunteered, and she put me up to sing a love song with another girl. I enjoyed the attention and all the ribbing I got for my song.
I like potato completes. My mother used to make us. I also liked having fried eggs with warm rice. My grandmother used to make the best Ashes ever, and they were so delicious that we would lick the bowl after ward. But the best was when we were treated to Kale Pache. a delicious stew of sheeps head and feet. Might sound yucky to you, but it was heavenly. putting the meat inside the bread, and dipping it in the sauce , yummy.
when we got older, we used to go the sandwich shop with my friends and get bologna Sandwiches with cooked been sauce and pickles. They were something else, specially with a coke washing it down. And Friday nights, the taste of the Hamburgers at Blimpy in Vanak. Oh yea. I also loved eating over Choob's house, the bread and butter with jams, and left over meats. even if I had to put up with Choob or Arman cooking chicken's feet for their dog.
Posted by Idinraha at 05:00 PM | Comments (1)
Dynasty of men
These are quiet days, I will not repent, no, I will not, I was awake, and I heard the sky, as the rain fell and the crow hid behind the clouds. I was here, and that's my pain, my sin, my predicament. The sky open and the rain came, the thunder, the lightning, the air turned gray, darker than ever, and I witnessed how the colossal sense of life constricted within itself, and shattered, in once telling moment, as we reached the end.
I have the words inside my head, I have the images but I can not say. for if I do I have betrayed my destiny. You will wake up tomorrow and the paper will tell you how you lived, and how you reached the height of your indifferences. you will kiss your wife, and say good morning to your children and it all seems so causally normal. You will not see the tear at the end of the horizon, you will not know. The horsemen will come, and then you hear the footsteps as they close in. But you could salvage your life, only if you do not answer and ignore the knock at the door.
Tomorrow we will celebrate a new sun, and days will be endless, coming from the west, there would be no need for scales and measures, and all we know will be obsolete. we have to open a new chapter, and start over again. The chaos will set and the sound of the sirens will echo. and something deep within all of us would rise, there will be chaos and we have to accept it. and all of this, this interruption, has imploded in us for we did not defend the heresy of our ignorance and the shame of our tolerance.
And for seven years and seven days and seven hours we orbit the earth and gather all we have, all that is left of collaborations of men and death. the soil will be as bare as the wombs of our daughter, and wives, and colors will disappear as we age faster within our time. Yes, we found the answer, we solved the puzzles and there was no alternative but death. But death is a new beginning, it always is.
Posted by Idinraha at 04:34 PM | Comments (0)