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December 11, 2005
Their house
Sitting lifeless, watching the tube, images crawling, I do not register. Then I notice a mark on the couch, a stain, I take the cloth, some detergent and rub it out, gently so the fabric does not give in, does not bruise, I am sweating as I go further, there is more, here and there, before I know it I am stained in sweat, and the couch looks so fine.
I try to remember, how the house seduced me, and I fell for it's spell, we moved in and the kids loved the new territories, they could run, stop, and run again, and the sounds of their laughter filled the house. we moved a few walls, she was obsessed to make it ours, as she brought color patches, asking me, and I chose some, some she agreed, a new floor Brazilian red, a new kitchen, all the bathrooms getting a face lift, new paints and furniture and when it was all done, she came to rest, at last it was our home, her house.
I close the doors tight every night, as she follows me, my little shadow that can not get enough of me. she learns as we do our ritual every night, she learns how to care for what is hers, is ours, how to lock the doors, and then she feels safe, hanging by my neck, " Lets go beddy bye, she says, as I smile. We lay on the bed, I hold them both, each holding the half part of me they claim, I feel their breath on my neck, we talk, as the sleep finds them, their hands fall, unlocking me, to get up and find my place, next to the lioness I sleep with.
I wonder, many a times, every day of my life, and have come to accept that I might have done something right in, for I have so much of what matters, so very much, the sounds of their feet on the floor, their laughter's, bickering," mine, mine", as they shout, claiming their territory, I think what memories they will have of their father, mother and their house.
Posted by Idinraha at December 11, 2005 02:09 PM