« May 2006 | Main | July 2006 »
June 26, 2006
an unfinished prayer............
I have walked your Earth, within the realm of time that you have bestowed me within the capacity of this vessel. a dream, awakening to a birth, manifestation of such accidental living, not bread by Love but cohabiting of the ones who carried me here. A dream, for the eyes open to the images that gather and sounds that sip inside the consciousness, one so empty of any reason to validate or understand the expectations of such being that it can only rely on instincts to survive,
I have chewed on your grass and inhaled your air, I have drank from your streams and have reached to what you forbid, for if there was no malice within the reason why else they be there but to hurl within me the urges of wanting, and a need so deep to trespass the edges of your reason and the morality of your scriptures, for if there was no malice in intentions why does evil come to be, or is it at the height of goodness that it crosses to the other side and one does no know where this seamless attributions start and where they differ, in jest or meaning. for if there was no malice in intension why the differences, the contrasts and colors, or is it that its the weight of these contrasts against the senility of our consciousness that creates life, and nothing else, for it did not have to be anything at the beginning.
Flight of what fancy, the thought behind it, the urges, the need and the exact time when the urges softened the reason and a twinkle within your eyes( for this is how I can only imagine from where I stand), and how the mold was made and the laws you set within the confined of your intentions, and the second that it changed and became of you, the extension, the bloom, the life. and did you know the beginning, the end, was there any parameters set for accidents and free will, and if you knew where the journey begins and where it ends, then why
It could have been simpler, it could all be instinct, but then where would the fun be, the wonder, the thrill , the sweet unknowing, so there had be intellect and free will, for you knew where you started but didn't want to know where the process would take you, you and the unfinished creature you molded in your image. That has been given, your image, your jest, your will, your intentions, your desires, your sins, your discretions, your allowance, all and all within this shell of flesh , and bones, your godly intension's, godly discretions and this exile.
Posted by Idinraha at 04:54 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2006
Summer living.......
Three days of rain and miles later. The black clouds passing by the car window, we are going somewhere. We are always going somewhere, and life is when we sit, the four of us in the familyroom of the house we live in and watch TV. content and quiet, these are the days of my life. all the goings so we can have those quiet moments, and then we are all going somewhere. Summer is here, the days are longer, the gift of day light and the sun, Summer has so much to be greatfull about. The gatherings, the sounds of laughter, listening to our kids playing outside. Is it anything more delicious than watching your kids grow? I don't think so.
Watching all of us growing older, as the grays become more prominant in our hair. All the familiar things, the everydayness of this living, all and all is so reassuring and pleasant. Specially to a gypsy like me that has never thought he belonged. This August will be the twentieth anniversary of our marriage. It went by so fast and it has had so many wonders and promises . I can't believe my beautifull wife is going to be Thirty Eight years old this year. The girl I married has become such a lady, not showing her age, dressing in her funky clothes and looking as youthful and fit as she is, she could pass for a teenager any day of the year. She has become the cornerstone of my family and hers. The way every one relies on her, seeks her advice, and copy what she wears. I always say that meeting her and getting her to marry me has been the best and luckiest part of my life. And her family the way they have accepted me as pne of their own, the way they love me and my kids, they have become a closer part of my life than my own family.
"where did you go, I miss you so...." is a new song that has resonated with me, singing it under my breath, playing it in my head. and the other day I wrote a poem inspired by it. " where are you going..." which I will post here soon.
I am still not happy with myself, my lack of ambitions, and lazy as I am. But I never knew what I wanted to do with my life, I guess I just wanted to live it. And being my wife's husband and my kids' father fills up so much of me, that there is not much else I need out there. Everything loses its gloss, and become ordinary, everything but Love, and loving. Life is good.
Posted by Idinraha at 07:02 PM | Comments (0)