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March 30, 2007
An unfinished prayer
I am floating weightless and this long silence is heavy on me, living inside me, behind the irises of my eyes, I sit looking out, careful not to trip, make a noise, observing as I do in an even stare, I hear my heart beats, I hear my longs filling with air, and then I try to remember all the senses of living, the joys of the first light of the first day, the first breath, and the feel of air against my skin, the first smile , the first tear, and the dizzying senses of living. I remember.
No sunset was ever as majestic as the first, so I go to the shores as the last traces of light drips beyond the silver motion of the sea, I sit on the sand and wait. I have an image in my head I wont forget, and I wait. as the sounds of the deep echoes within my head, I wait.
Was it the first day of the spring, when the cherry blossoms bloomed and softened the wet edges of the branches in a beauty so beyond my knowing, my seeing that my breath left me for less and the blue bird stopped mid air, all in a wonder of my seeing and how it was etched in clear colors of spring within the synapse of my mind, in an abstract jest that bled so factual so true it shook me beneath my skin, within my bones, how does one decipher beauty, one can only remember ........
And still beyond the beauty of images, colors and seeing, there is that solidarity truth, the rapture of spirit that could only be seen with eyes closed and once there , one you survive all the laws that gravitate you within the absurdity of your being, once you disrobe of you,and all your knowing, closed eyes, senses keen, you remember the way home.
Beauty make me religious, washing over me like a prayer in tongues I do not know but their echoes soothing to my soul, and its the limitless possibilities of beauty, its ever changing shape that would plead to all my senses, each such a virtuoso, each so complete in its nature, its promise, beauty touch me, runs under my skin, hurls within me and all it leaves beyond is a breathless desire for more. beauty finds me, and holds me, beauty.......
Of you I am, and of me you are, you live within me as I live within you, no boundaries, no limits, just the indisputable knowing that we are.
Posted by Idinraha at 08:38 PM | Comments (0)
March 07, 2007
looking for the bird........
your eyes, oh, how I remember your eyes, looking at me, puzzled, but I had told you I will be leaving, and you did not
believe me. I asked you to close your eyes and I kissed them soft, brushing my lips against your cheek, and I turned to close the windows shot, and then back to you, I pushed you on your bed, palming your hair softly. adoring you, I pulled the white cover up to your neck and stood up looking at you. shivering under the sheets, your eyes open again pleading but I hushed you and left.
there is a bird, there always is bird fleeting to the corner of the sky, there is a tree a lonely tree standing on the hill, void of life, but standing in its existence, and there is a hill , there always is a hill, and beyond it there are alluring nymphs bathing in a river at dusk, we will climb the hill . kiss the tree on all its branches and hold it so the life that is within us brings new currents to its roots and then we follow the sky to where the nymphs bathe, and we sit by the river bed watching the beauty that lives.
Oh, I had told you tales of where I dare, where I live and , how my heart aches and I smile, how love in its purest forms ebbs within me and flows to drawn me within the sentiments of living, loving, yearning, and desires, and you, my creation, my puppet, my doll, you did not believe me, and now you would be closing your eyes in the loneliness I left you and wish that I was there. and yet.........................................
I always come back to look for the bird and where we buried it amongst the stones, under the lonely tree that only shades a quiet patch of a barren hill. I always come here remembering you, and my heart aches and my hand cold within its flesh and bones, and my legs shake as they carry me here, where we left the bird, and you .................I can not deny you, I can not deny my heart and how i felt within your embrace, your quiet panting heart and trembling arms. Love is a weight of the world and you could not hold it , it crushed you under the vast simplicity of its hold, you could not bear it and yet once you were touched you could not leave it and yet, yet......................
I always come back looking for the bird, looking for you..........................
Posted by Idinraha at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)