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November 01, 2007
Fragile Moon
Time goes by, I am sleeping better these days. Have to push myself , step by step, I think is the struggle that I like, I do a lots of crossword puzzles, trying to focus with my bad eye. As I said I like the struggle. Comfort bores me, there always should be more, a bit further, maybe behind the next door, curiosity, I told Dr Kline how I am getting interested in Science magazines, even Car magazines.
I am also becoming more selfish, more private, Do not think I want to share, at least not with the people I know, why should I let them inside. Loneliness becomes easier once you accept it. I read Wayne Dyer these days and his words wash over me. Calms and cleanse me. The light at the end of the Tunnel is so far away but time is my friend, I will crawl, and in time I would get there, in the mean time there is so much to learn, " you never change what you are and never stop changing who you are".
I have always said, it is between writing and therapy. I enjoy both, Captive audiences in both case. But writing for me is even more internal, there is no projection and it mostly dwells in subconscious. I like that. There is no road map, no guidelines, you come hungry and leave fullfield, even if for a day. There are simpler ways to live and many ways to be simple. You are what you are, and it is what it is...............................
Walking in the painting for a stroll in the scenery, and looking further beyond where the picture finishes and the frame stands solid, but you could if you want sneak in, at your own peril, curiosity, madness, or attraction of unknown, unseen, unexpected.
I have a big head, a big square head, sometimes I feel the pain in my skull, or a certain coolness inside my brain, my head, big square head. I don't now if his passing throw me a loop or gave me an excuse to miss the woods and the midnight strolls. To question everything again, like when I used to stare at the sun, knowing it would hurt but I could not stop. That was many moons ago.
I had been struggling to come back here, I knew I had to , and I am glad I am here although as a guest I have worn
my welcome, but I rely on Kindness of strangers and patience of friends. I am a hermit , I enjoy being left alone.
Posted by Idinraha at November 1, 2007 11:36 AM