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June 22, 2008
She cries
she cries, and the tears make the whites of her eyes brighter, as her black irises stand out, making her more beautiful in her innocence. She does not know how to coup, how to let go, she walks around the house, looking down, finishing a new task, fidgeting with the colorful menageries that decorate her house, while the thoughts web and cower in her head.
She was raised in doll houses with shiny beads an crystals that kept her in a certain glow. She was dressed in kind admiring glances that cherished her every move and yet she become a young woman of certain clarity in her
moods and her jests, her curtsy and her honor, righteous through and through, elegant in her pride, generous in her kindness. and we all became so accustomed to the way she stood tall.
She does not lose easy. she takes care of her own and there is a certain attachment to all she loves. And now he feels so slight in her arms, so broken, and she can not nurse him. she brushes his hair, smiles and sings him new lullabies. she feeds him soft morsels, wipes his mouth and chin, robs his feet and brings him sleep, and breaks her heart every time she has to leave him behind, over and over the finite reality of passages chimes in her
head, as she turns and walks away.
she comes to me and talks as the tears find their ways quietly, I hold her and she feels so slight in my arms, so broken, and I wish I could take her pain, some how wash it away from her and wear it like the shirts she hands me
every morning before I leave. She does not lose easy, and i am so accustomed to her pride.
' I have to accept, I have to surrender ", she told me the other day while dressed in her black outfit, and the whites of her eyes made her black irises to stand out.
Posted by Idinraha at 02:51 PM | Comments (0)
abundance
To come back with abundance of the suite cases I have packed and unpacked, the roads I crossed, not taken, the candles I burned in light of so many days. I wish I could say that I have moved further, by a foot , and inch, I wish I could say I have learned , maybe, I have observed, I have seen and still remember. It is like diving in a river that flows toward infinite horizons, but it does not take you, your feet cemented at the river bed, your eyes burning, and the open invitation to another passing, another adventure, but the feet of clay and wear of time would bring realization of a certain departure a certain passage, to evolve within all there is and become, just become a part of a whole, for its the separation that causes pain and sorrow.
So I drink the water and fill up, I stand behind the ethereal skin of my eyes and watch, not see, not look I watch with the enthusiasm of a kid locked in a room watching peers playing out. I am in, and I have learned to enjoy this captivity, I have learned to await the sunrise and blush in colors of the days and sing with the murmurs of the nights and be a care taker to all my flowers as I turn the soil beneath them, find them a place in the sun and watch them grow, I have learned to assimilate within the migration of hours and coronations of the years, the Tick Tuck of the watches and clocks reminding me of the movement and motions of life. living...........
So I drink the water and let it sip inside, I surrender to the day bare, needy and vulnerable, I know the story would spill
all in due time, no haste, the words would come, and i rush to register them, I rush to chew them as I learn the magic
of this stay........................
Posted by Idinraha at 02:19 PM | Comments (0)