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February 28, 2010
Clarity
I have tried very hard to convince myself that the dagger in my back is there for a reason
And much welcome for the unease it has brought. Most of all I am of the opinion that the
Familiarity of the hand that that has brought the steel to the bone is for the hand is mine.
Accepting such reasoning would allow me confidence in my stand and sooth my ego.
Alas I am intelligent enough to know the charity in my argument . and brazen enough
To know the properties of change.
Posted by Idinraha at 09:07 PM | Comments (0)
What you can or can not
I had decided long ago in a sober moment
To walk careful on my toes. though Its harder now
-not as many sober moments abound , balancing
the girth I have accumulated and earned,
I had decided not long ago in a drunken haze
to wallow aimless, watch my step not on purpose
and dance on my toes every chance I get and remember
when life comes at me , lean to the right and then left
I have come to believe as I live within this moment
to put one step after the other, to crawl after a fall
and then stand on shaken ground with my heels down
and look just a few steps affront not too away far
Do not quarrel with faith, don't go where you nought
try to know the extent of your might what you can or can not
remember there are billions more exactly like you around
and know your limit from your extreme left to right
Posted by Idinraha at 08:42 PM | Comments (0)
February 10, 2010
All that is outside
It has snowed all day. The roads are empty white, and life treads slowly. No one knows yet it seems the train has left the station and I could see my face behind the last window passing by, and the girl I left in the station has already turned her head walking back. I have a secret to tell, I have a tale to whisper, a love story of sort......
You did not believe, you never believed. I whispered the secret , I told you the word, like I had never told any other. The bird in my chest sang for you and yet you did not believe. and somehow I know you never will. And I am happy in my truth in sincerity of my emotions. I hope you never miss the bird and the clarity of truth. I stand behind the window that frames all that is out there hoping for thirst hoping for hunger.
It's hard to define these times , life seems so surreal . There is such an abundance of images and urges, such gluttony of needs and depravations. Truth is lost in collaboration of expectations and denials .We forget how naked we came here and how bare we are left, and all that remains is but a dream we can not remember.
I can not reach you, as they are pushing the nails through your skin, as you heart is thorn in
a grief so cutting so severe that has bent your tall stand. all I can say is how sorry I am for
all is happening to you and the ghastly sorrow that has nestled within you and your beloved.
I pray for you to the Gods you believe in and the God I frequent in the same voice.
I laid down on the kitchen floor next to the stove as it hummed-- cooking. I thought how much I like the kitchen-- the place of sustenance. I like the quiet it brings me as I clean the dishes, clear the counter,put the washed glasses and utensils in the cupboard and then fill the dish washer with the soiled ones.the joy of small tasks that can take you away and the sense of accomplishment you get as the dinner is served. and the kitchen is cleaned with you walking out, turning the last light.
It is still snowing outside, it is suppose to snow all night, we have a tall window that frames all that is outside and you................
Posted by Idinraha at 06:33 PM | Comments (0)