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December 25, 2010
Will you come again?
Will you, if I stay here waiting, Will you come again for another tale, a poem, I say much and I am so naked within these pages, but I like you to come again. maybe we have tea and talk like we have known each other, come to think of it we do, stranger are only mere words away from intimacy, lets say it, and take a long walk to where the trees stand deep and a quiet depth of unknowns eludes the sun in a shade so soothing and clear, I say so much and .......... maybe for a second reading this you believe it is you I have been waiting for.............................remember you can always leave and yet you would come back again,
Will you...........
Posted by Idinraha at 04:48 PM | Comments (1)
December 24, 2010
Where are you taking me
We clearly know the stranger he walks by the dark side of the shore where the wind pushes the waves and leaves them . I see him as a man of a medium stature, with black hair that crowds his face, and eyes haunted by so much.
There is a pleasure to melancholy, there is a certain safety, a taste bitter yet textured like the taste of an old wine that stays and lingers. It has black wrought Iron gates that surrounds the interior of a well cared garden and there is stone house old and weathered yet with certain strength in its lines and presentation.
You could walk in and roam the large foyer you could go upstairs and visit the main room with the fire place, for me though it's the library with its wooden panels and thick velvet curtains, and the shelves of books there,That's where I find melancholy sitting across a short table waiting for me for a game of chess.
I have such a yearning for wine, red Merlot served in a crystal glass. I like to sit by the window pane and watch the sky as the day settles in a sunset. I stood too long and waited many hours while life happened outside the window, beyond the garden and the gates. I never belonged here and I had no desire to leave. I never possessed anything and nothing ever belonged to me. I erased my name from the certificates like I was never here. After all what is in the name if you do not take it.
Where are you taking me now, I still see her standing by the bed half naked, half mad all crazed, cupping her left breast in her palm while abstracting the right one with her arm. she smelled like sin and yet so devastated by the weight of the picture in her head. So young, she tried so hard and so gifted she did not have to say much.
The images are there inside my head, my treasures, my diaries of a man on the edge . such a sordid tale, such a collaboration of desires, urges, the unbearable bulge of sin so so delicious like her tongue inside my mouth .............. where are you taking me.................. They are still there, time stay and repeats itself we move but the incidents we share wallow deep again and again for we are the witnesses and they live inside, behind the thick velvet curtains in damp recluse libraries and their whispers reach as they sip and take dripping further.
I could have loved her at that closed finite desperate moment, second when she cried and bit my lips in blood. There was all pleasure and pain, there we were in an embrace . I could have loved her but I already had loved her and I was a man on the edge and she knew I had given her more and she had broken so many rules and there we were after the kill , present and knowing and where else we could go.... and there we were realizing how far we had come and there was nothing more but the depth of a fall.....
Where are you taking me, it is never the same, after the first kiss, the first touch the first breath everything is framed in the thrill of unseen and unexpected, and nothing , nothing will ever be the same .................We could not follow the hallways and come to the same door and the same room and expect to be any different...............habits form in desperate layers of need, habits are devalued incidents and expectations, habits are the diseases of others , others who circle behind closed windows and suffocating whims..............................
Where are you taking me. , where can you take me....................
Posted by Idinraha at 10:40 PM | Comments (0)
December 15, 2010
Days in purgatory
I have my boots out, it is cold here, The days are shorter with sun eluding the day every chance a gray cloud crosses the sky.. There is a corner though where you can lean against the wall and enjoy the sun, for a very short while. I am in transition, going forward, my kids walk ahead of me, we are in transition.
I am neither here or there, there is a beautiful woman in my life, "I am in transition" I tell her. She is patient.............not much has changed I tell myself, --still crazy after all these years.. I guess Paul Simon found that out early. . I like the clear cold air, I am getting used to cold showers, wearing my beard fuller and my hair is growing long..
She used to give me 100 toman to cut my hair and shave. In her quiet unassuming way. She would find time between whispering her prayers to smile, a cunning smile, a knowing smile, she was the grown up even amongst the adults and it seemed there was so much she was aware of , and how we did not know amused her.
I like wearing my brown corduroy with my boots and my ever present black T shirt with a brown winter vest and
my thick brown jacket. Its good to wear in layers, and maybe I feel the need to strengthen my shield.
We lost so many this year, a Prince, a Princes, a deposed king and a saint.
A sweet prince who we all miss every day and wonder why .and a beautiful princess both taken away so young . I tell myself keep a low profile, don't tempt the fate. soft shoes and short strides would get you there, the walls are thin and the tilt in the surfaces is moving further, there are gashe sdeep in the layers of the earth getting wider and you could almost hear the whispers. There are idle hands and feet , idle heads and thoughst and the weight of all this fear is corrupting the system.
Yet we walk forward, that is all we know, there is heresy amongst us, corruption and fear and yet we look forward to another day, so we could walk further. The deposed King was buried by his son in the middle of the night with no one following the Casket, no prayers to any god . The deposed king was betrayed by his son the way he had betrayed his father and the cycle would continue. His son a mouse of a man, fearful ,wicked and damned watched nervously as the king was lowered and the grave diggers filled the gaping hole.
This hamlet betrayed his father , his brothers and sisters, a mouse of a man melancholy, lost within his corrupted ambitions, looking for a throne.. with his wicked Ophelia and their legacies feeding off each others' fears , scratching the walls, blind, blind.
Shame on me for giving in to malformed corrupted thoughts , black clouds will move away and the sun always captures the day. These are the days of purgatory, days numbered on calendars and yet my daughter smiles and my son laughs and I hear my mother calling me back. There is the joy, the Bliss, and love. I remember my grandmother used to say. Cherish your friends and make peace with your enemies. So we will.
Posted by Idinraha at 04:14 PM | Comments (0)
December 06, 2010
Other days, Other destinations
all night we watched in awe
as the souls took flight
to other destinations,
...there was one with a quiet disposition
and a tender heart, trying to hide her joy
as she took Flight, cunning smile
she was going to see her lover
to live with him another day
in other destinations
RIP Razieh Barghi
Posted by Idinraha at 04:05 PM | Comments (1)