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November 11, 2011
There's a symphony in my head
There's symphony in my head...the notes, the rhythms, the pitch....I close my eyes and I hear the music.... I close my eyes and I am transported....taken.....such a short distance between living and death.....It is like turning a switch, On...Off , .......as Steve Jobs said.....On.., Off
There is a scene in the movie -Apocalypse Now, where Marlon Brando fills the screen with his shaved head down so you do not see his face and you see his hands coming up as the camera pulls back -Horror, Horror, you hear him whisper while holding his head, there is a flash back to the ceremonial sacrifice of a Bull .....and as the machete cuts the head, and the blood pours.... you see Martin Sheen coming behind Mr Brando coming to complete his mission
You can not tell me that at that moment the death is not welcomed by Mr Brando, it is.......as it was in the--The Last Tango in Paris , the saddest movie I have ever seen.......even at the most erotic points... there is desperation and sadness in the awkward way he pushes himself onto her........again the sadness of the main character is so overwhelming that he is pushing his lover, cajoling her, daring her to kill him........... Mr Brando, a master of subtle movements does not say much however every time he graces the screen the noise is maddening.
Are you involved in your life ? are you living it.....or you are a spectator watching over it....how do you know if you close your eyes, where you are and where you are going..... life is spent is seconds, minutes and hours, days, weeks and months,......yet it runs away so fast if you become conscious of it.....Life should be a distraction......or maybe a series of distractions...like jumping from one column to another ....beware not to catch yourself while you are midair...do not think when airborne ....you do and you fall..
I came across my life the other day walking down Fifth Ave in the crowd, I stopped him and asked him where has he been, where is he going and how, just how could he be so away from me. He smiled, brought his mouth close to my ear......"You have been dreaming my boy....catch the wind ,find me, before I sip out, slip away" . then he pushed me and ran ....
Does the station master ever go away and ........ the ship Captain who lives between two worlds ever know where his home is and ever miss being there...... Bus Stops, Train Station crowds and empties..... the Airports are quiet at midnight..... The birds are migrating south and the salmons braving the currents swim up the river..... Is there an instinct for living and dying...........and can we accept death as an extension or its only a switch...ON...off
There's a symphony in my head... The light opens the stage...The characters walk in and the music come sweet and soothing as the violins play... the men in colorful coats and pants the ladies in beautiful gowns, bare shoulders, necklaces, and golden chains...Up dos and hair done to there...the scent of perfumes fill the air........music pitches higher the flues and cellos, the keyboards and bells chime in.....the characters in colorful coats find the ones in beautiful gowns, bare shoulders.....they dance.....the spectators are mesmerised and then the lights go off.
Posted by Idinraha at November 11, 2011 04:18 PM
Comments
So, I received your latest comments on my blog and I apologize if I offended you on my "Venting" post!! Didn't mean to offend anyone. Not even the one who I was venting about. Anywho, I wrote some responses for ya...
Posted by: jen at November 13, 2011 05:38 PM
How do you know if you are involved in life or just watching? In those rare moments when I HAVE become conscious of what it really means to be alive, the fact that I won't be here one day is incomprehensible and suddenly, space and being become infinite and consuming. Such a short distance between life and death, yes...I'll never wrap my mind around it...
Posted by: jen at November 13, 2011 05:47 PM